Gods And Monsters
by crystallized-codeine
Summary: She was an angel in the land of the dead. Scared, screwed up, all on her own. Until he came along. He was always the lone wolf, always contemplating leaving the group where he felt unwanted. Until she came along. They had to fix each other in order to survive in such a deranged world.
1. Chapter 1

"Help me." Her voice pleaded from inside the car. "Please."

Daryl looked quickly at her and then to bleeding T-dog on the ground. He grabbed her by the foot pulling her on top of him, and then he grabbed a decayed walker and threw it on top of them. He closed his eyes wondering what the hell was going on. All he remembered was Rick hissing at everyone to get under the cars but he saw the approaching doom of the oncoming herd of walkers. He remembered seeing T-Dog tear his arm apart on the car door and rushing over to help him, but something-_someone_-was begging him for help. Usually Daryl wouldn't have helped her but it was something in her voice, her eyes that made him reach out and take her to safety.

"Sophia!" he heard Carol shout and his eyes flipped open and he threw the dead body of the two of them.

"It's all clear." He said to her but she just whimpered and pressed herself harder into his body. "You alright little missy?" he asked but the violent shaking was enough of a response for him. He wrapped his arms under her and scooped her up into his arms. Daryl gave T a small kick and the black man mumbled in response stumbling to his feet.

"Daryl please you have to help?" he heard Carol say as tears pooled from her eyes but she stopped staring at the young woman in his arms. "Who's this?"

"Found her scared out of her wits back in a car over there." He motioned to back to where they were with his head. "She wouldn't let go of me."

Lori was the first to make a move at her shaking her shoulder lightly. "Sweetheart are you bit?" she asked but the girl didn't response. "Are you bit?" she asked more firmly but still the girl didn't say a word. Lori took a step back and crossed her arms. "We'll just have to wait till Rick and Shane get back."

"They won't let her stay." Andrea added walking up to the group. "She's just another mouth to feed."

"Dad and Shane wouldn't do that." Carl shook his head.

Lori wrapped her arms around her son. "Of course they won't." she pointed to T-Dog who was trying to stop the bleeding of his arm. "Someone help T-Dog."

"I got it." Glenn replied waving his hand away tying a rag above the wound and pressing had on it.

"We couldn't find her." Rick said breathlessly taking his shirt to his face to wipe the sweat from it. "We'll look some more though, so Carol, don't worry."

"Daryl!" Shane exclaimed from somewhere and inside his arms the girl flinched. "We'll need you to help." He appeared from behind the R.V. "You have good hu-What is that?" his face blanked as his eyes narrowed on the girl in his arms.

Daryl took a step back finding himself oddly protective of the defenseless girl in his arms. "I found he-!"

"You found her?" Shane asked sarcastically walking towards Daryl. "So you just decide to bring her back here when she could be dangerous."

Rick stepped forward placing his hand on the girls arm. "Are you bit?" he asked just as Lori had said. "Are you hurt?" And in the same way she didn't respond.

"To hell with this polite bullshit." Shane spat tugging the girl from Daryl's arms and throwing her to the gravel ground. The girl rolled twice before stopping then Shane put a shotgun to her head. "Now listen here missy. You either respond or become walker food."

The girl pushed herself up to a sitting positing finding Shane's gun holes directly in her face. "I-I-"

Rick put his hand on Shane's gun lowering it. "Shane don't escalate this any further." He walked towards the girl lowing himself to his knees in front of her. Her face held such innocence and the way her hazel eyes glimmered with scared tears made her look delicate. Her dirty blonde hair cascaded down her shoulders stopping just below her breast. "My name's Rick. I was a former police man and sheriff of the town before I was shot." He pulled down the shoulder of his shirt reveling the scaring wound.

The girl looked at him. "I-I didn't get bitten." She shook her head letting the tears fall freely from her eyes. "I'm so scared!" she exclaimed before jumping on Rick wrapping her arms tightly around his body.

Rick looked up at the other members of the group confused as he tried to soothe the slim girl in his arms. "It's alright to be scared." He said as her smell drifted into his nostrils. It was an odd mix of grass and a floral perfume which was shocking saying it's been awhile before any of them had seen perfume. "Now can you tell me how you got here?" The girl pulled away her eyes flashing to each member of the group particularly Shane whose hand was itching his gun. Rick caught it and look sympathetically at her. "Would you like to just tell me in private?"

She nodded letting a tear streak down her cheek. Rick stood up to his feet grabbing the girl's hand to help her up. He placed his hand at the bottom of her back and gave her a push forward to walk. When the group seemed far away enough she opened her mouth. "I-I was with my mom and dad when it all went down. They were quick to go…I didn't know what was going on at the time so I locked myself in my house. My older brother knew I wasn't good with chaotic situations and came to get me. We were on the run for a while until we came across this place. I remember he said he was going to look for supplies and to lie down in the backseat till he returned." She shook her head. "He never came back."

"How long were you lying in the car?" Rick asked looking down at her.

She shrugged. "About a week. Every time I thought it was safe to come out a couple walkers came through. That wasn't the first herd that came through this part."

"You never thought to fight them off or anything to get out?" he raised his eyebrow.

"I don't have any weapons," she frowned. "My brother never let me carry around a gun because I don't know how to shoot."

"We can change that." Rick smiled but then became serious. "Everyone in our group contributes something, so we'll have to find something for you to do to earn your keep."

The girl stopped and looked at him. "Sir, you don't have to bring me into your group. I can tell they don't trust me."

"The only way to survive this apocalypse is sticking together. No offense but I don't think you could make it on your own especially without a weapon." He smiled causing her to laugh for the first time. "We'll fix you up train you in defense and if then you still don't want to be in our group then you're welcome to leave."

"Thank you but –"

"No but's I'm forcing you to come into our group." Rick cut her off but she shook her head smiling.

"I was going to say but I don't think I'll ever be able to defend myself. Those-those things scare me half to death." She said squeezing her eyes shut.

Rick tutted pulling the girl into an embrace. "Don't worry we'll protect you." He pulled away and looked down at her. "What's your name?"

"Rose." She replied as he grabbed her by the arm and walked her back to the group.

"We can't just bring her into our group!" Shane exclaimed at Rick as they mapped out a route to find Sophia.

Rick leaned forward. "Will you keep your voice down." His eyes flashed to Daryl for a second. "She means no harm and look at her Shane she would die if we wouldn't have found her."

The three men looked over to where she was trying to help Glenn hold the tools to the R.V. They all clattered to her feet and she blushed a dark crimson. Dale hurried over to help the embarrassed girl. "No wonder she's a frightened little clumsy girl."

"She was left in a car for a week after her brother disappeared and probably died. Of course she's frightened. She doesn't know what's going on." Rick said sternly to his friend.

Shane snorted. "Oh please you probably just think she's a pretty damsel in distress you can save."

Daryl shifted. "Did you ever catch how old she was?"

"Well she can't be jail bait anymore if you're wondering since there aren't any jails left." Shane added rolling his eyes.

Rick ignored the other cop. "She looks around 22 or 23." Daryl grunted in response and leaned against the car hood as he fiddled with his crossbow. "We better get a move on before it gets dark." He said folding up the map.

It's my first story on here so cut me some slack.

If you want me to contiue comment or something so I don't keep updating to an empty audience.

Lot's of Love xoxo-Kate


	2. Chapter 2

Inside the R.V. Andrea sat trying hopelessly to put her gun back together while further in the caravan Carol cried herself to sleep over her lost daughter. On the ground laid Daryl staring at Carol as she sobbed. Rose was sitting across from Andrea watching the three humans all making their designated sounds.

Daryl sighed going up onto his elbows then standing up to pull his crossbow over himself. "I'm walk the road, look for the girl." He said hushed then looked back at Carol.

"Can I come?" Rose asked standing up walking towards him as he made his way to the door. "I mean Rick said I should contribute something maybe I could be an extra pair of eyes."

Daryl gave a curt nod and pushed the R.V. door open and walked onto the road. "I'm going for a walk. Shine some light maybe the girl will see it."

"You think that's a good idea right now?" Dale stared down at the two.

"We'll be fine." Rose smiled up at him and walked passed Daryl leading the way.

Daryl was quick to match her pace. "Surprised you offered to come with saying as you were scared out of your wits earlier." He dug into his pocket and pulled out a knife. "And the fact you came unarmed means you are highly uneducated about the apocalypse."

Instead of being embarrassed she chuckled as she took the knife. "I want to help. I want to prove to everyone I'm just some girl you picked up." She looked at him. "Which I want to thank you for."

"You're lucky I was nice enough to. I usually wouldn't do things like that." He replied. She stared at the ground and if it was light out he would have been able to see the blush that crept to her face. "We both have lost brothers huh?"

"How's did yours die?" she asked.

Daryl shook his head. "He didn't. Your precious sheriff Rick handcuffed him to a roof and left him there as walker bait. My big brother knew better and cut off his hand to safe himself."

Rose looked at him with sad eyes. "That's awful. My brother got bitten."

"You don't know that." He grunted. "You could find him. Maybe he went for help."

She shook her head. "I'm sorry but he most likely got bitten."

"You're not very optimistic are you?" Daryl chuckled kicked the dirt under his feet.

"Depends on the situation." She replied. "You really think we're going to find Sophia?"

He shined his flashlight on her face. "You got that look on your face same as everybody else. What the hell's wrong with you people? We just started looking."

"Well, do you?" she asked again slightly hurt by his changed personality.

"It ain't the mountains of Tibet. It's Georgia. She could be hold up in a farmhouse somewhere." He paused looking around. "People get lost and they survive. It happens all the time."

"She's only twelve." Rose pointed out.

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Hell, I was younger than her and I got lost. Nine days in the woods, eating berries, wipin' my ass with poison oak."

She looked at him raising an eyebrow. "They found you?"

"My old man was off on a bender with some waitress. Merle was doing another stint in juvie. Didn't even know I was gone." He trailed off. "I made my way back though. Went straight into the kitchen and made myself a sandwich. No worse for wear. Except my ass itched something awful."

She laughed trying to stifle it. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry that is a terrible story."

He laughed along with her, but suddenly stopped a serious demeanor taking over his expression. "The only difference is Sophia's got people looking for her. I call that an advantage."

They continued to walk there footsteps making little noise and the quitting of talking made the crickets behind the trees so much louder, the owls hooting so much more clearly, and the rustling of leaves so much scarier. "What was that?" Rose whispered grabbing Daryl's arm and hiding behind him.

He raised his crossbow shining his light towards the noise. "Be quiet." He hissed walking down a small bump in the landscape with her hot on his heels for safety. He brought his crossbow higher as an orange tent came into view. "What the hell?" he questioned approaching a tree where the rustling was coming from.

A walker was hanging from a rope gagging as he tried to get to Rose and Daryl. "Got bit. Fever hit. World gone to shit. Might as well quit." Daryl read off the suicide note. "Dumbass didn't know enough to shoot himself in the head. Turned himself into a big swinging piece of bait, and a mess." Behind him Rose groaned. "You alright?"

"Trying not to puke." She replied putting her hands on her knees.

"Go ahead if you gotta." Daryl added staring up at the hanging walker.

"No I'm fine." She pressed her hand to her forehead. "Let's just talk about something else for a minute. How'd you learn to shoot?"

"Gotta eat." His eyes remained glued to the walker. "That's one thing these walkers and us have in common. I guess it's the closest he's been to food since he turned. Look at him, hanging up there like a big piñata." He shined the light on his chewed off legs. "The other geeks came and ate all the flesh off his legs."

Rose gagged and vomited on the leafy ground. She coughed and looked at him. "I thought we were changing the subject." She wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"Call that payback for laughing about my itchy ass." He gave her a smirk.

"There wasn't a lot that came up." She sighed wiping her hand on her pants.

Daryl stared up at the walker. "Huh. Let's head back." He said and turned around.

"Aren't you gonna…" she trailed off shining her flashlight on the walker.

"No," he shook his head. "He ain't hurtin' nobody. Ain't gonna waste an arrow either. He made his choice. Opted out. Let him hang." He said and turned back around.

Rose stared up at the walker with suspicious as she itched closer to it. Why would he just hang himself knowing when he'd die he would turn into…into those _things? _"You want to live now or not?" Daryl's voice said from behind her and she turned to look at him. "It's just a question."

"An answer for an arrow." She said glancing at the walker then back to Daryl. "Fair?" He nodded. "I don't know if I want to live or if I have to or if it's just a habit."

"Not much of an answer." Daryl raised his crossbow and shot the walker straight in the head. "Waste of an arrow."

Rose stared up at the limp walker then turned to run after Daryl fear creeping in her system. "I guess I'm afraid to die because I know once I do everything will be gone. The sun on my face, feeling happy or scared or whatever it will all be gone." She said catching up to him. "A philosopher once said death is just a long sleep you never wake up from. It doesn't sound so harmful does it? But maybe I don't want to sleep forever. Maybe I love living and knowing I'll be nothing after I die scares me."

Daryl gave her a small smile as the climbed up the hill leading to the highway. "I guess that arrow wasn't much of a waste after all." He said helping her over the ledge.

"But death seems like the most peaceful thing nowadays." She said stumbling onto the road. "I don't want to be ripped apart by those things. Living in fear every day like today might be your last day makes me not so afraid of dying." She smiled at his frowned face. "But I want to live because I have hope one day that I'll see someone running out screaming there's a cure or something good. Somehow this will all be over and that keeps me alive inside and makes me want to stay alive on the outside too."

The R.V. door slammed closed and Daryl and Rose both watch as Carol disappeared into it. Daryl sighed before opening it up and going into it himself. Rose looked up at Dale sadly and went into the R.V. too.


	3. Chapter 3

"How is he?" Dale asked staring at Rick and Lori.

"He'll pull through." Lori said her voice shaky she nodded to the Greenes. "Thanks to Hershel and his people."

"And Shane." Rick added. "We would have lost Carl if not for him.

Shane looked around the group his eyes holding guilt. "I'm so sorry Rick." Rose said quietly wrapping her arms around the cop. "I know I barley know him but I still care."

He nodded and dug his face into her shoulder still trying to coup with his injured son. "You apart of the group just as I am Rose. Don't feel less important." He whispered to her and pulled away.

"How'd it happen?" Dale asked.

Rick looked around. "Huntin' accident. Just a stupid accident."

* * *

><p>"We'll grid the whole area, start searchin' in teams." Rick looked at Maggie's map.<p>

"Not you, not today." Hershel butted in to Rick. "You gave three units of blood. You wouldn't be hiking five minutes in this heat before passing out." he looked at Shane. "And you're ankle- push it now, you'll be laid up a month, no good to anyone."

"Guess it's just me." Daryl said sighing. "I'm gonna head back to the creek, work my way from there."

"I can still be useful." Shane said looking at the map. "I'll drive up the interstate see if Sophia wandered back."

"All right, tomorrow then." Rick sighed. "We'll start doing this right."

"That means we can't have our people out there with knives." Shane pointed out. "They need the gun training we've been promising."

"I'd prefer you not carrying guns on my property." Hershel polite wording held such authority in the statement. "We've managed so far without turning this into an armed camp."

Shane stood up straight. "With all due respect, you get a crowd of those things wandering in here…"

"Look we're guest here.' Rick stepped between the little feud. "This is your property and we will respect that." He dug into his pocket and pulled out his gun placing it on the hood of the car. Reluctantly Shane pulled out his and placed it next to Rick's. "First things first: Set camp, find Sophia."

"I hate to be the one to ask but somebody's got to. What happens if we find her and she's bit?" Shane asked. "I think we should all be clear on how to handle that."

"You do what has to be done." Rick said and looked down at his feet.

"And her mother? What do you tell her?" Maggie questioned.

Andre eyed Maggie. "The truth."

"I'll gather up the weapons. Make sure no one's carrying till we're at a practice range off site." Shane said picked up his gun. "I do request one rifleman on lookout. Dale's got experience."

"Our people would feel safer, less inclined to carry a gun." Rick stated. Hershel look at him before slowly nodding. "Thank you."

Rose had shimmied her way between Rick and Maggie. "Can I help?" she asked.

"Why don't you just go sit down and look pretty." Shane spat at her. "You ain't much as use as me."

"I'm tryin' to earn my keep." She trailed off looking away from Shane. Keeping eye contact with he man was something she found a dislike to.

"Why don't you go and help the others get water?" Rick smiled at her placing a hand on her shoulder.

Rose looked at him then back at Shane. "Can I help look for Sophia?"

Daryl positioned his crossbow. "Until you know how to defend yourself you ain't comin' with me." He chuckled walking passed her. "See you later little missy."

"She could come into town with me." Maggie said looking at the girl.

Rick shook her head. "It's best she stays here until she knows how to work with a weapon. Why don't you take Glenn with?"

"I'm sorry Rick." Rose frowned. "I'm being more a hassle than a help."

"You're doin' just fine." He smiled down at her.

"That's one ugly walker." Rose said staring down at the fat walker in the well.

Dale cringed at the sight. "Looks like we've got us a swimmer."

"How long you think he's been down there?" Glenn asked.

"Long enough to grow gills." Andrea added.

"We can't leave it down there. Who's knows what its doin' to the water." Lori stated matter-of-factly.

"We got to get it out." Shane said.

"Easy. Put a bullet in its head." T-Dog said. "I'll get a rope."

"Whoa, whoa guys. No." Maggie protested.

Glenn squinted at her. "Why not? It's a good plan."

"It's a stupid plan." Andrea glared at Glen. "If that thing hasn't contaminated the water yet, blowing its brains out will finish the job."

"She's right." Shane nodded. "Can't risk it."

"So it has to come out alive." T-Dog said.

Shane shrugged. "So to speak."

"How do we do that?" Glen asked.

Shane smiled at Rose. "Why don't you contribute to the group darlin'."

"We could send a piece of meat down there and see if goes for it." Rose stroked her chin looking down at the scene. "Then wrap a rope around its neck and yank it up."

The group shrugged in agreement and Shane tied a piece of ham to a fishing line casting it down the well with a nosed rope. "He's not going for it." Dale pointed out.

"Maybe cause a canned ham don't kick and scream when you try to eat it." T-Dog spat.

"He's right." Lori looked at the group. "There's a reason the dead didn't come back to life and start raiding our cupboards."

"We need live bait." Andrea stated.

Everyone's eyes turned to Glenn except for Shane who was staring at Rose with sarcasm. "Come on Rose do your part to earn you keep eh?"

"No it's fine Shane I can do it." Glen said defending the new girl.

"Nah man let her go down in that well. Kick and scream for a while maybe that walker will get a bite out of your skank ass." He shot at her.

Rose glared at him. "Fine. I'll go down there." Shane chuckled grabbing the rope and wrapping it around her waist tightly. She sat down on the edge of the well looking down at the gagging walker. "Have I mentioned I like your new haircut." She said her fear quickly replacing her adrenaline. "You have a nice shaped head."

"Don't worry about it girly." Shane stepped away. "Maybe you'll taste good as walker food." He gave her a small pat on the back.

"Don't let me die." She pleaded with Maggie as they began to lower her into the well.

"We got ya'." Maggie gave her a smile. "You people are crazy."

"You want to get it out of your well or not?' Shane hollered.

Dale motioned to the well. "Give an eye there, Maggie."

She grabbed the rope tightly as the thing's face came into her view. "Oh dear." She whispered to herself feeling the rising vomit in her throat. A deep breath was released from her mouth as the walker gargled at her as she was lowered lower.

"Doin' okay?" Maggie asked from above her.

"Just fine thank." She smiled sarcastically up at her. "Livin' the dream.' She said to herself shining her flashlight on the walker. She grabbed the noosed rope and lowered it from her as she was lowered herself.

"Little lower. Little more." She heard Maggie's voice say but it was masked by the growls of the walker. She heard a large creaking noise from above then suddenly felt herself drop completely. Rose grabbed the rope flinging her legs as far away from the snarling walker, she let out a scream only making the walker want to grab her more. She pressed her legs to the side of the well hoping to climb up, but her hands were slippery from anxiousness making her slip.

"Get it! Get it!" The group shouted but the pipe flung completely off making Rose fall closer to the hungry walker.

"Get me out of here!" She shouted tears pooling out of her eyes.

The group strained to pull the rope back. "Pull! Pull! Pull!" they exclaimed tugging at the rope yanking it backwards. She grabbed the top of the well and struggled to pull herself out.

Shane grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out. "Are you okay?" he hollered as she collapsed onto the dusty ground.

Lori grabbed her hand helping her up. "Are you okay?"

Rose gave a cry and stood up untangling herself from the ropes. "I hate you!" she shouted at Shane pushing him away and stumbling back to the farm house.

"Back to the drawing board." Dale added as they watch her run away tripping over her own feet.

Shane picked up the rope Rose had just thrown on the ground. "Says you." He said in disbelief tugging on the rope that was wrapped around the walker's neck.

* * *

><p>Rick looked behind him then back to Hershel. "You need to reconsider."<p>

"I beg your pardon?" Hershel questioned.

"Askin' us to leave." Rick turned to face him. "You need to reconsider. If you saw of it is out there you wouldn't ask. You're a man of belief. If you believe anything believe that."

"You're puttin' me on the spot." Hershel said eyeing Rick.

"Well, I mean to." Rick stepped closer. "Those people look to me for answers. I wish they didn't, but they do. But I'm not askin' for them or myself. I'm askin' for my boy. After the price your friend Otis paid, the least you can do is give it some thought."

"You're a plainspoken man." Hershel squinted at him.

"I'm a father." Rick pointed out. "He's the one thing I don't want to fail." He said walking over to the porch steps and taking a seat. "I feel like I do every day. I lied to him this morning. It wasn't a big lie, but it was enough."

Hershel placed a foot on the porch step. "My father didn't bother with comforting lies. He used his fist. He was a loveless, violent drunk and no good to anybody. He drove me from home when I was 15. Didn't lay eyes on this place again for many years. I was not at his deathbed, Rick. I would not grant him that and to this day do not regret it. Some men do not earn the love of their sons." He took a seat next to Rick on the porch. "I don't see you having that problem."

"Will you consider my request?" Rick look at him.

"There are aspects to this, things I can't and won't discuss. But if you and your people respect my rules, no promises, but I will consider it. You have my word." Hershel said.

Rick stood up and held out his hand for Hershel to shake. "You have mine."

"Rick!" he heard a voice shouting and suddenly Rose came sprinting at him tears streaming down her face. "Rick." She said quieter jumping into his arms.

Hershel nodded. "I'll leave you be." And then he walked back into his house.

Rick pulled away from the frightened girl. "What happened Rose? Why you all shook up?"

She shook her head. "I thought I was going to die. They found a walker in there and were trying to get it out so it wouldn't contaminate the water, but it wasn't going for the ham so Shane suggested I go down there as live bait." She took a deep breath. "They wrapped me in rope and lowered me down but when I was halfway the rope gave way and I plummeted towards the walker. It was so scary Rick."

Rick gave her a small smile. "Next time don't go in a well."

"I just wanted to prove I was helpful." She stared up at him.

He swiped his thumb across her cheek wiping away the tear. "You don't have to prove anything you're already helpful." He stepped away. "I'm going to go have a word to Shane okay?" she nodded watching him walk away.

"Hey!" she heard a voice and turned around seeing Daryl trudging towards her. "You alright?"

"Yes," she looked down not wanting to show the fear in her eyes.

Daryl was lifting up her chin in an instant catching the slight redness in her swollen eyes. "You've been crying."

"Because I freaked out..." she trailed off. Her wants to been seen as brave in his eyes were failing, but she guessed Daryl already knew she could not survive on her own. "It's embarrassing." she eyed his crossbow seeing a chance to get off the topic of her near death experience. She did not care if Rick knew it was hard for her not to be frightened, but Daryl, Daryl was different. She felt a need to be seen as brave in his eyes although he allowed her to hide behind him most of he time Rose was ashamed of ever crying in front of him because of her jumpy attitude. "Isn't that heavy?"

Daryl swung in his arms. "Nothing I can't manage." He smiled placing it on the ground by his feet. "I got this for you." He held out his hand inside was a white flower. "It's a Cherokee Rose. The story is that when American soldiers were moving Indians off their land on the trail of tears the Cherokee mothers were grieving and crying so much 'cause they were losing their little ones along the way from exposer and disease and starvation. A lot of them just disappeared. So the elders, the said a prayer; asked for a sign to uplift the mothers sprits, give them strength and hope. The next day this rose started to grow right where the mother's tears fell."

Rose furrowed her eyebrows. "I didn't lose a child though. You should be givin' this to Carol."

"I know." He shuffled his feet, "but I thought since your name was Rose you'd like it more."

Rose moved closer to him placing her petite hand under his closing his fingers around the rose. "I love it Daryl, but I think Carol needs it more than me right now." She leaned up on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek. "Thank you. Made my day better."

"You did look awfully shook up." he eyed her.

"Yeah." She trailed off.

Daryl sheepishly grinned at her. "A couple more weeks with us and you'll be kickin' walker ass."

"Hopefully." She nodded and walked away towards the rest of their group.

* * *

><p>Tell me what you guys are thinking so far?<p>

Is there anything you want to see in the next chapters? Anything I can fix? Tell me and I am glad to change so I may please you all.

Lots of Love xoxo -kate


	4. Chapter 4

"All right everyone's getting' new search grids today." Rick unfolded the map. "If she made it as far as the farmhouse Daryl found, she might have gone further east than we've been so far."

"I'd like to help." One of Hershel's group members, Jimmy, said walking up. "I know the area pretty well and stuff."

"Hershel's okay with this?" Rick eyed him suspiciously.

"Yeah. Yeah." The boy nodded. "He said I should ask you."

Rick hesitantly moved his head up and down. "All right then thanks."

"Nothing about what Daryl found screams Sophia to me." Shane said. "Anyone could have been hold up in that farmhouse."

"Anybody includes her right?" Andrea looked at him.

Daryl held his arm at his hip. "Whoever slept in that cupboard was no bigger than yay-high."

"It's a good lead." Andrea agreed.

"Maybe we'll pick up her trail again." Rick pointed out.

"No maybe about it." Daryl said. "I'm gonna borrow a horse. Head up to this ridge right here, take a bird's eye view of the whole grid. If she's up there I'll spot her."

"Good idea." T-Dog smirked, "Maybe you'll see your chupacabra up there too."

"Chupacabra?" Rick questioned.

"You never heard this?" Dale asked. "Our first night in camp Daryl tells us that the whole thing reminds him of a time he went squirrel hunting and he saw a chupacabra."

Jimmy laughed lightly earning a glare from Daryl. "What are you braying at, Jackass?"

"You believe in a blood-sucking dog?" Rick asked.

"Do you believe in dead people walking around?" Daryl shot right back.

Jimmy reached for the gun on top of the car but Rick grabbed it from him. "Hey. Hey. You ever fire one before?"

"Well if I'm going out I want one." He stated.

"Yeah and people in hell want Slurpee's." Daryl swung his crossbow on his back and walked off.

"Why don't you come train tomorrow?" Shane asked Jimmy getting out of the car. "If you're serious I'm a certified instructor."

"For now he can come with us." Andrea said.

Shane looked at her. "He's yours to babysit then."

"All right. Andrea, T-dog. I want you guys…" Rick trailed off looking at the map.

Rose suddenly appeared at the scene. "I'm coming with. I want to help find Sophia."

"No, no, no I ain't babysittin' another one." Andrea put her hands up backing away.

"That's fine Andrea. I'll take her with me." Rick said. "Tomorrow you can train and everyone will want you coming with them." He smiled.

* * *

><p>Shane nailed a piece of red cloth to a tree in a moment Sophia were to come along. "You remember that name of the waitress at the Dairy Queen when we were in high school?" Rick asked him as they walked through the forest. "I know you, Shane, well enough to know there is only one sure-fire way of engaging you in a conversation, and that is to start askin' you about the girls you did in high school. I don't want to, but I'm willing to do it if that's what it takes."<p>

"Maryanne." Shane finally said. "I told you about her?"

"In excruciating detail." Rick replied.

"Excruciating, my ass." Shane said. "You used to live for those details back in the day.

Rick smiled. "Yeah I was impressionable." Shane laughed. "And I may have been living vicariously through you."

"Why wouldn't you, with my impressive list of accomplishments? I was artist in his prime. A protégé." Shane smirked

"You mean prodigy." Rose corrected him.

Shane shrugged. "Maybe. Is prodigy what you call a young high school stud that bangs thirty year-olds on the regular?"

"What thirty year old were you banging in high school?" Rick asked a small smile on his face as the three trudged through the forest.

"The P.E. teacher." Shane replied.

Rick turned to look at him. "Mr. Daniels?"

"Mrs. Kelly." He smirked.

Rick laughed. "The girls' volleyball coach. Wasn't she married? You know what I just remembered-!"

"Can we please stop with this remembering bullshit?" Rose cut in her mind aggravated by their sentimental conversation. "There's no point in it now, everyone's dead."

"Now, now little missy I do believe you weren't in this conversation." Shane smiled sarcastically at her.

Rose glared at him. "Piss off Shane I still haven't forgiven you for almost gettin' me bit."

"Oh so you grew a pair?" Shane's eyebrows rose as he looked at her. "Last I remember you was cowerin' half the damn time."

"That was before I became food for the dead." She spat. "And plus, I hate you."

"Fellin' mutual darlin'." He smirked back at her.

"It's blue," Rick huffed staring at the tree by them. "It's Andrea and T-Dog. Looks like we wandered into their grid."

* * *

><p>"Does anyone know how to play guitar?" Glenn broke the awkward tension hanging thick in in the dining room. "Dale found a cool one. Somebody's got to know how to play."<p>

"Otis did." Patricia whispered.

Hershel nodded. "Yes, and he was very good too."

That was the end of their conversation but down the table Rose couldn't take the silence. ""My brother used to play. That's how he got me to sleep. Every night he come up to my room with his guitar strumming a little tune singing one of his songs for his MP3 player." She smiled at the memory. "Easiest way to knock me out eh?" she laughed.

"Do you?" Lori asked.

"No." Rose shook her head. "Never had the time and when I did I got too frustrated with the strings."

The room plunged into awkward silence once more and all was heard was the scraping of forks against the glass plates. Rose pushed away from the table. "That was great." She motioned to Daryl's room. "Someone should um-er get him some food."

When she heard a mumbled of approval she started gathering up some things and putting them on a tray to carry them off to Daryl's bedside. "How are you feeling?" she asked closing his bedroom door behind her and placing the tray on the nightstand next to his bed.

"As good as I look," he replied wrapping the sheets tighter around himself.

"I brought you some dinner." She nodded towards the tray. "You must be starving."

He looked at the tray and then back to her. "Eatin' squirrel all day."

Rose chuckled lightly taking a seat on the bed. "It's so tense out there. Nobody is talking."

"I bet." He agreed. "I could hear a pin drop from in here."

Rose fiddled with the bed sheet. "I-I wanted to tell you how brave you are being. For going out on your own to look for that little girl." She sighed looking up at him finding him staring right back at her. "I don't want to say it's hopeless and that it's a waste of time, but in all honesty I think it is. But I mean anything could happen. For all we know she could be back on that highway or something." she laughed. "I don' know her or this group very well so my opinion doesn't really matter."

"Don't worry about them." Daryl gave a small smile. "I've been here awhile and look I got shot."

"Yeah." She laughed lightly. "I just wanted to say that little girl is lucky having someone like you to look for her." Rose leaned down and pressed her lips to his cheek then fled the room.


	5. Chapter 5

Her fingers played at the fruit in her hand. "It's nice outside." She commented staring at the sky outside the tents view.

"Aren't you gonna eat that?" his southern voice asked eyeing the peach in her hand. "You've been holdin' it for a long time now."

"I-I uh…" Rose trailed off. "I was gonna but then I forgot I had it. Why you want it?" she outstretched it towards him.

Daryl took it from her hands. "Well if you ain't gonna eat it I will."

She tilted her head to the side watching him take a bite out of the fruit. "You sure you can't come with."

"Doc said I better stay on bed rest for another day or two just to be safe." He replied his mouth full of peach. "Why?" he swallowed.

Rose glanced at him then back at the group standing next to the truck outside the tent. "I'm scared."

Daryl took another bite then tossed the fruit outside the tent. "Of what?" he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Of holdin' a gun. What if I shoot someone? What if I can't shoot the walkers and they eat me? What if-!"

"Oh stop with the what if ya' big baby." He cut her off. "You won't shoot no one only if you don't aim at them. And the walkers won't get you 'cause you got people protectin' you. You got _me_ protectin' you." Daryl looked away as if trying to ignore what he had just said. He didn't understand why he cared for the girl so much. Maybe because he could protect her? Maybe for once in his life someone needed him; someone _wanted _him to care for them?

Rose frowned at him, "But you ain't comin'. How are you supposed to keep me safe when you ain't even there?"

He looked back at her. "How old are you?"

"How old am I?" she laughed. "You've know me for a week now and you don't even know how old I am…" she shook her head still smiling. "I'm 22."

"Well then Miss. Twenty-eight year-old I'm sure you'll be just fine on your own." He smirked right back at her. "You got Rick out there with you and Shane. They'll keep you safe while I'm still hurtin'" Rose eyes throbbed as her lip began to pout. "Don't start that poutin' shit with me Rose. I'll kick your ass." He turned away beginning to poke holes in the side of his tent with an arrow.

"Fine but if I die out there it's on your hands." She stood up and stormed out of the tent

"You ain't gonna die." He shouted after her. "It's only shootin' practice." Daryl rolled his eyes going back to his hole making.

"Hey," Andrea walked in.

"I can't." Rose eyed the gun that was being handed to her.

T-Dog pinched the bridge of his nose. "The gun ain't gonna kill you. The things yo are shooting at now they will kill you."

She shook her head stepping backwards. "I-I don't want to."

Carl looked up at her. "It isn't so bad Rose. Once you get the hang of it they aren't that scary. They're useful."

"I think-I think I'll just head back to camp." She sheepishly smiled at the little boy and T-Dog. "Maybe Dale needed help on watch." She turned around then stopped realizing she'd have to walk back…alone. Rose shut her eyes trying to ignore her heart beating rapidly in her chest as fright built up in her body the same time the tears built in her eyes. Why was the world so scary now?

"Hey." His voice said from in front of her and when she opened her eyes Rick's face was in view. "Hey what's wrong?"

"I'm scared." She said feeling like she was always repeating the same two words to him.

Rick chuckled backing away from her but still keeping one hand on her shoulder. "Why are you this time?"

"I don't want to shoot. I don't know how." Rose replied quietly to him. "I wanted to walk back, but I'll get attack by walkers."

"Come here." He told her nodding forward walking towards the fence. He pulled out his gun from his holster. "I'll help you." He grabbed her hand and slowly brought it to the gun.

Rose cringed trying to bring her hand back, "Please don't make me."

Rick chuckled still keeping ahold of her hand. "It's won't hurt you." He said guiding her shaky hand to the gun. Her fingers grasped around the object gingerly. "Ain't so scary no is it?" he questioned a playful smile on his lips. He reached for her other hand and brought it to the gun fixing her fingers so they were in the correct position. Then he stepped away from her. "See? You're holdin' it all by yourself."

"How do I shoot it?" she asked her hands still obviously shaking the gun.

"Well stop your cowerin'." He stated wrapping his body around her slithering his arm under her to stop her shaking, "and just pull the trigger." He quietly said just by her ear his pointer finger finding hers on the trigger and pulling. The gunshot echoed around the area making Rose drop the gun and jump out of Rick's grasp and far away from where she was.

"I am never-ever-never doin' that again! How dare you make me ho-"

"You got a bull's eye." Rick cut her off laughing.

She stopped and stared at him. "What?"

He pointed back at the can she was supposed to be aiming at that was no lying in the grass. "You hit your target."

"Really!?" Rose exclaimed running back to where she just was and picking the gun up off the ground and fired the gun once more but completely missing to glass bottle she was aiming for.

"It's a work in progress." Rick patted her shoulder. "You'll get the hang of it soon enough." Then walked off to Carl.

* * *

><p>"Guess who can almost be able to carry a gun?" Rose smirked ducking under the tent mouth and appearing inside it.<p>

Daryl raised an eyebrow at her. "So you can shoot now?"

"Not exactly." Rose sighed sitting down on the ground next to his bed. "I only hit 5 of my targets today and one of those was with Rick's help. Face it, I can't shoot if my life depended on it and it does!" she put her face in her hands.

"You don't need a gun to survive." He rolled his eyes. "Look at me I got my crossbow and I'm just fine." He propped himself up on his elbow. "Hey, maybe I can teach you to shoot that instead of using those loud ass pieces of shit."

Rose looked up at him with hopeful eyes. "Really?"

He reached over and nudged her shoulder with his knuckle. "Sure thing sweet pea."

"Aren't you suppose to have good aim with that though?" she furrowed her eyebrows.

"I can teach you." He gave her a small smile then leaned back onto his back staring up at the ceiling of the tent. "You'll be just as good as me."

She smiled to herself before going onto her back as well. "Can you tell me those stories about Atlanta? When you went to go get your brother?"

Daryl glanced over at her. "You can't keep havin' your little sleepovers here little missy. Dale gets mad when he can't find you."

"I feel safer in here." Rose said quietly playing with the hem of her shirt.

He flickered his eyes to her once more before sighing. "Well I headin' down the stairs callin' out Merle's name with Rick on me about bein' too loud. Too loud my ass." He stopped just hear her laugh softly. "We came into the kitchen and the stove was still burnin' and I could smell the smell of burnt flesh. Merle had burned his stump to stop the bleedin'." He paused letting her gasp making him smile to himself. "We left the building after Glenn made up a plan to get the bag of guns Rick had left there in the street. Well the boy ran up the road so fast and grabbed that bag of guns and went to come back but a group of walkers caged off the street Rick and T-Dog were guardin' so he came back my way. That's when a Mexican gang decided to mug us of the guns and stole Glenn, but I shot their amigo is the ass and kept one of their pals so we could get all their whereabouts."

He stopped hearing the sound of her small snoring. He looked down at her watching her chest rise and fall. "Goodnight little missy." Daryl smiled to himself falling asleep to the sound of her snores and the crickets chirping.

* * *

><p>Hope you guys are liking it so far.<p>

Please am begging you to tell me what you are thinking so far. I would love to know you're opinion on everything.

Lot's of Love xoxo-Kate


	6. Chapter 6

"My back hurts." She groaned sitting on the leafy ground beside his camping chair.

He played with the food on his plate. "Well maybe you shouldn't be sleepin' on the floor."

"I'm not about to let your injured head sleep on the floor." Rose looked up at him.

Daryl still refused to meet her stare. "Stop sleepin' in my tent then." He brought his food to his mouth and chewed harshly.

She furrowed her eyebrows. "Why are you bein' so rude?"

"I don't know.' He sighed knowing perfectly well why he was being rude. He was getting too attached to this girl. A girl who barely knew how to defend herself let alone anybody else; she was an easy target to pick off. Having contact with a person like that means only one thing…his death. If he got more attached to her he'd be going out of his way to save her resulting in him getting bit. "I'm sorry." The words pooled from his lips before he could stop them. _Don't apologize!_ He screamed at himself. _Grow some balls and kick her to the curb!_ But he couldn't because in some part of his sealed off heart he cared for her. He didn't want to ignore her or be mean to her. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to fall asleep every night to her steady breathing and wake up every morning with her smiling down at him poking fun about how Andrea was lucky she can't shoot. And as much as Daryl wanted her to become brave he enjoyed her cowering against him looking at him like he was safety and nothing could touch her while she had him. "Just crabby that's all."

"It's fine." She smiled. "So you goin' out to look for Sohpia?"

Daryl shook his head. "Doc said to take it easy one more day."

"Good." She said proudly, "Because I can't leave either."

"Why?" he raised his eyebrow at her.

Rose shrugged. "Lori's orders. Says she doesn't want me out there in case I freak out." she shook her head. "I don't even want to go out there anyways. It's so unknown…What if there's a huge herd somewhere out there and we have no idea?"

Daryl opened his mouth to respond but Glenn spoke up. "Um guys." He said rubbing his chin. "So…The barn's full of walkers."

Everyone looked up at him like he had just said he was a walker himself. "What?" Andrea asked acting like she had misheard him.

"The barn." Glenn pointed back towards it. "It's full of walkers. I've seen it."

Shane stood up. "Show us."

The group slowly began to stand up following Glenn as he led the way. "I don't know about this." Rose said quietly grasping Daryl's forearm as she walked down to the barn in an eerie silence. "What if they come out?"

"You and your what ifs…" he mumbled shaking his head. "They won't if we don't provoke them and the barns obviously strong enough to hold them if they've been in there awhile now." He reached his hand higher and grabbed her hand dwarfing it with his. "You're fine."

"We can't just leave them in there." Shane stated

Rick's eyes followed him. "This is Hershel's barn he has his reason."

"Then let's leave." Shane turned to him. "Make our way to Fort Benning like we've been saying."

"We can't go." Rick flatly said.

"Why, Rick? Why?" Shane question annoyed.

Carol stepped forward. "Because my daughter is still out there."

"Okay." Shane rubbed his face with his hands. "Okay I think it's time that we all start to just consider the other possibility."

"I'm close to finding this little girl." Daryl stepped forward. "I just found her damn doll two days ago."

Shane laughed sarcastically. "You found her doll, Daryl. That's what you did. You found a doll."

Daryl swung his arm at the cop. "You don't know what the hell you're talkin' about."

"I'm just saying what needs to be said." Shane pointed out. "You get a good lead. It's in the first 48 house. Let me tell you somethin' else man. If she was alive out there and saw you comin' all methed out with your buck knife and geek ears 'round your neck, she would run in the other direction." Daryl jumped at him going for a hit but everyone got involved trying to break up the two who were defending different sides. "You ever come at me again I'll beat your ass." Shane shouted at Daryl as group members pushed him backwards away from Shane.

"Let's me talk to Hershel." Rick calmly said to Shane. "This is his land. If we want to clear the barn I have to talk to him first."

"Hershel." Dale cut in. "See's those things as people-sick people- his wife, his stepson."

"You knew?" Rick asked.

Dale nodded. "Yesterday I talked to Hershel. I thought we could survive one more night before Glenn told you. We did."

"The man's crazy Rick!" Shane hollered. "If Hershel thinks those things are alive or no!"

Behind them the barn doors began to rattle as walkers growled pushing against it to get to their food source outside of it.

* * *

><p>"Okay…" Andrea said and stormed out of the R.V. leaving Dale obviously hurt.<p>

Rose looked up at him from the table's seat. "You okay?" she asked eyeing his upset face.

"Yeah." He replied unsure.

She smiled. "I once had this cat. Beautiful thing it was, but every time I try to pet it, it would run away from me. Then this one day I ignored it and she came right into my lap and purred."

Dale looked at her confused. "Why are you telling me this?"

"Andrea doesn't like you hovering around her watching her every footstep. She doesn't know how grateful she should be about it. Don't do it anymore and she'll want you to again." Rose glanced out of the window. "I know I don't know much about you people but I know Andrea and you care a lot about each other. But she is a grown adult and she isn't yours to care about. Let her make her own mistakes so she can learn."

"I don't want her getting hurt." He took a seat across from her at the table.

"She knows that." Rose nodded, "But right now let her do her own thing and realize what she's missing without you looking out for her."

Dale chuckled lightly. "When did you get so smart?"

Rose shook her head. "I'm just watchful."

"What was your cat's name?" he asked.

"Charlotte the Fat." She laughed at the memory. "Its name was Charles but then she had kittens so we had to make her name more feminine. You should have seen her Dale, she was so fat." Then she frowned. "My dad was a high school teacher and named her after Charles III a Carolingian Emperor in France."

Dale sighed leaned back on the table's seat. "When I was little my younger sister wanted to name our dog Cat." He smiled, "but he chose Logan instead."

"You think that's mess up." Rose laughed leaning forward. "My mom's family names all their girls after flowers. My mom's name is Penelope, my aunt's is Ivy who named her two daughters Azalea and Clover, my grandmother's was Flora, and my great grandmother was named Delphinium. How mess up is that?"

"Actually it's pretty smart." He nodded stroking his chin.

She shook her head. "I got lucky with my name. I feel sorry for the child who has to get Goldenrod or Hollyhock. Only if they keep the tradition up that long though."

"Mhm," he mumbled then stood up. "Here comes Daryl, maybe you should go talk to him. He's pretty upset about them talking about abandoning the search for Sophia." His eyes flickered to the bag of guns on the table then back to her.

"Okay…" she trailed off pushing away from the side of the table to get to her feet. "See you later Dale." Rose walked to the door of the R.V. and headed down the steps. She furrowed her eyebrows as he stormed into his tent following him to the zipped on door way. "Hey, why you so mad?"

He flopped down onto his little bed and laid on his side. "All these people are just givin' up hope on findin' this little girl."

Rose stepped into the tent staring down at him. "There's walkers in the barn Daryl people are scared. I'm scared. They're so close to home and we can't do nothin' about it."

He threw his eyes over his shoulder at her. "Doesn't mean we should just leave that little girl out there."

"Imagined how frightened she is out there and defenseless. The only explanation is th-!"

"Don't say that!" he exclaimed. "There ain't so many walkers around these parts. She could be hidin'. Just because she's lost doesn't mean she's bit."

Rose frowned at him. "Daryl, she's just like me. She doesn't know how to defend herself and absolutely terrified of those things. I wouldn't have lasted so long if it wasn't for my brother. She has no one to help her except her own two feet."

He turned on his other side to face her. "What if it was you? Would you want people to stop lookin' for you?"

"If I was dead yes." She nodded.

"You're so pessimistic." Daryl glared at her.

Rose shook her head. "I'm bein' realistic."

Daryl eyed her obviously frustrated by everyone's lack of care to give for lost Sophia. "You're a little bitch who don't even belong here. Why are you even allowed to give an opinion?" he spat.

She took a step back tears welling in her eyes. "Why-how…I-I thought." The tear streaked down her face. _Didn't he care about me?_ She asked herself before she choked on her own words and fled the tent.

"Dammit!" he shouted punching the ground of the tent angry he let his obsessions with isolation get the best of him.


	7. Chapter 7

Their feet against the blades of grass were the only sounds to be heard in the patch of green on the land. Hidden beneath the undergrowth crickets and various critters made their designated noises. Despite the oncoming doom of human species everything else still flourished, something that shocked everybody. She walked behind him weary of his movements and intentions. Danger still lurked close to home, but she tried to take confidence in the way he walked catching flashes of guilt in his steps. She listened hard to the bugs beneath the grass trying to focus on other things that weren't out to get her skin and bones.

"See it?" his voice cracked the tension wall built between the two.

She looked around. "See what?"

He walked forward and pointed at the bush. "There." Daryl stopped in front of Cherokee rose. "I found more of them. I'll find her." He shuffled his feet his eyes searching her face for an expression or something to catch onto to. "I'm sorry about this mornin'. I didn't mean what I said I was just angry."

"It's fine." Rose said curtly. "You want to find this little girl and no one having hope upsets you. I understand." She smiled. "Why though?"

"'Cause I think she's still out there." He replied locking his eyes with hers. "Truth is what else I got to do?"

Rose eyed him suspiciously and stepped forward running her hand across the soft petals of the white flower. "We'll find her. We will."

"Do you think we should leave?" he watched her fingers stroke the soft surface. He longed to have those petite fingers run through his hair, softly touch upon his cheek soothing the tough layer.

"No," Rose shook her head. "It's safer here and far away from those things. I like it here."

Daryl smiled slightly. "Except for the walker barn."

"Except the walker barn." She chuckled as she agreed with him.

Something came over him. Emotions running thick through his once lonely veins. Daryl plucked a flower from its stem turning to meet her hazel eyes with his. Cell after cell was telling him to stop, every morsel in his body begged for him to just let this feeling go, but he could not. Every feature on her face was sewed into his heart lighting his soul up like a burning flame. A deep connection was all he could feel staring at the girl. So soft and so delicate, yet could cause devastation in a heart beat. What was she? To cause such a feeling? His thumb was circling around her cheek realizing her skin held the same softness as the flower petal. "Is it wrong me for me to care about you so much?" he asked her.

Rose stared up at him breathless. "Why would it be wrong?"

"Because we could die." He pointed out letting his eyes trail off into the distance. "I'm not usually like this, but something about you makes me want to protect you. There's a reason I grabbed you from that car instead of leavin' you there. There's a reason I keep apologizin' for bein' mean. You're just so…delicate."

"Is it wrong for me to want to kiss you?" she asked him after gulping back her embarrassment.

He looked down at her that same need building in his stomach. "Yes."

Rose tugged at her bottom lip. "Why?"

Daryl brought his other hand to her neck. "Because we could die." He said and leaned towards her bringing their lips closer. She whimpered as his mouth connected with hers, locking them both in a passionate kiss. He lightly nipped at her bottom lip begging an entrance which she willingly granted and he thrusted his tongue in already knowing he had control. Their mouths moved together in sync like they had done it so many times before but all too soon they knew their bliss would have to end. Daryl was the one to break the kiss resting his forehead on hers his breathing uneven. "We should go back." He told her quietly.

"Yeah, we should." She giggled and went on her toes to peck his lips lightly.

* * *

><p><em>Rose's P.O.V.<em>

"No Shane! Don't do this brother!" Rick shouted as Shane tried desperately to open the barn door. He didn't listen as he cracked open the locks and banged on the door. I took a step back into Daryl's embrace wanting nothing more than to high tail it back to the R.V or the house or someone other than this place.

He wrapped his arm across my shoulders. "I have to go help." He told me in a voice just above a whisper, but I shook my head holding his arm against me with my two hands. "I need to protect you."

Shane raised his gun. "Come on," he whispered and the first walker pushed open the door smelling its food outside. Andrea and T-Dog took their places next to Shane as more walkers came out of the barn letting the bloodshed begin.

"Go," I said quietly to Daryl pushing him to take aim at those things. He took a look at my face which already had a tear coming down and went to go defend our people. I glanced at Rick who would have been my first to run back to but he was holding onto a walker himself so instead I ran to Carol who was farthest away from the massacre and quick to take me into her scared arms. The group continued to have away with their shooting fun as more walkers pooled out from the barn.

"Stop!" Rick shouted knowing how upset this was all making Hershel watching what he thought were people being slaughtered before his very eyes, but no one listened the gunshots too loud for any of them to really care except for the safety of people.

"Is it done?" I whispered to Carol my face shoved into her shoulder not daring to even look at those things blowing apart.

She looked over my shoulder. "I think so."

I turned my head around pulling myself from Carol's arms finally glad it was all over a sudden growling was heard from inside the barn. My heart sunk as Sophia emerged from the barn the obvious chunk taken out from her shoulder. My first instinct was to grab Carol, but she had already taken off towards her dead daughter. "Sophia!" she cried out sinking into Daryl's arms as he stopped her from going any closer.

'_Why was nobody shooting her?'_ I thought to myself gingerly moving towards everyone finding myself standing by Lori and Carl. I don't think anyone really had the heart to go and kill the little girl especially Shane who I thought would show no mercy, but even he took a step back. They couldn't just let her get close to our group. She could still bite someone. But I held my tongue sinking to the ground by Lori staring at the dirt.

The gunshot echoed around the farm and when I looked up Rick was holding out his staring at the dead body of Sophia on the ground below. Everyone was quiet except Carol as she sobbed for her now gone daughter.

* * *

><p>Tell me what you guys are thinking so far!<p>

I would love to hear your thoughts

xoxo-Kate


	8. Chapter 8

"Do you think this whole thing could be a joke?" she picked at the dirt from underneath her pinky sometimes glancing up at the sky or around in careless fright.

His body slumped in a shrug. "I dunno did Rick shoot that little girl as a joke."

She sighed. "Maybe it started off as a joke then it went bad. There has to be an explanation on why this all happened and why it happened now."

"Ain't there something like this in the Bible?" he did not wait for a response. "Something like God picks who survives."

Rose laughed. "Perhaps that is true I wouldn't know, never studied the Bible." She rolled over onto her stomach resting her chin on his chest.

"I thought you'd be super religious since you're such a prune," Daryl's fingers were sliding down the length of her arm slowly tip-toeing their way across the small of her back exposed from her shirt coming slightly up. Her soft skin felt so smooth against the pad of his finger tips. His hands were moving farther up her back curling around the dip in her side.

"I'm not a prune." Rose shook her head fighting off the smile reaching back and pulling his hand off her. "I just have morals and safety precautions and tents are very thin." She placed his hand across her cheek closing her eyes.

"Who cares." He began to get up to kiss her but she pushed him down.

"Just hold on a minute. Listen." She spoke softly. "It's so quiet." She hummed happily. "No walkers. Just the wind, and the grass, and the birds."

Daryl rolled his eyes. "Okay nature freak we should go back."

"Can we just stay here forever? In this moment? No danger. Just us livin' off the land happily without a second thought. Fall asleep to the sound of the crickets and owls. No death. Just us. Living." Her frown was etched with a gleam of happiness as if she was happy that everything was bad. She flickered her eyes open and sat up propped on her knees.

"You're crazy," he smirked pushing himself off the ground sliding his hand across the back of her neck and pulling her face to his kissing her softly on the lips. He put more pressure on her mouth causing her falter backwards slightly jerking her arms out to grab onto his biceps for support. His tongue sneaked its way into her mouth playfully taking jabs at hers. They were oblivious.

"Daryl! Daryl!" Someone was calling and the kiss ended. Both red in the face, stood up and grabbed their things without a share of words. They were both pissed at interruption.

* * *

><p>"Stay away from him Rose. For my sake." He told me quietly as my lower back pressed itself against the counter.<p>

I tipped the glass back letting the water flow down my throat keeping my eyes on him. "I promise." I told him back.

Daryl frowned. "I'm serious. I can see the playfulness in your eyes, this isn't a laughing matter. He's dangerous, his group is dangerous; the things they could do to you…" he trailed off shaking his head. "I don't even want to think about it. Just please for the sake of my sanity stay the hell away from him, don't even think about him."

"Okay," I nodded turning around placing the empty glass in the sink then turned back to him. I grabbed his hand turning it over trailing my fingers over the bloody knuckles. "Was it necessary?" I asked him my eyes flickering from his hand to his face.

"We needed information." He replied recoiling his hand from mine.

I frowned up at him. "How are you any different from him then?" I walked away and out of the house. I found myself wondering down the dirt road path my feet carrying to where I had seen Andrea sitting on a barrel outside the boy's 'prison.'

Andrea eyed me as I walked closer to her. "What are you doing down here? Go back to the farmhouse. You shouldn't be down here."

"Says who?" I crossed my arms stepping in front of her.

"Daryl," her eyes looked beyond me as if checking if Daryl could see where I was

"Just please can I speak with him for a minute. Just walk away. If Daryl finds out you won't get blamed just say you had to use the bathroom or something." I pleaded with her sticking my hands in the back of my jeans. Andrea shook her head then stalked off. I fidgeted with the bucket outside the barn filling it with water before slipping inside. "Here," I said sliding the bucket towards the boy who scrambled to dunk his head in it.

"Thank you miss, thank you." He said between gasps water dripping from his hair and onto his clothes.

"It's the humane thing to do." I responded watching him from my knees. "Let me clean you up." I told him pulling out a rag from my back pocket and crawling towards him placing myself between his legs. I dipped the rag in the water bucket and pressed it too his face clearing away some of the dried blood.

He eyed me. "Why are you being so nice to me? Haven't you heard I'm dangerous?"

I smiled. "I'm not one to judge people based on unreliable facts."

"Is Daryl you're boyfriend?" he asked me his eyes concentrated on my.

I leaned back dipping the rag back in the water and ringing it out. "Don't drink from that again." I swiped it under his chin.

"Is he?" the boy asked again.

"I suppose." I shrugged. "He looks out for me, just a little too much though. I know I'm a little weaker than everyone else but I don't need a hawk on my shoulder all the time." I sighed pressing the towel to his eyebrows scrapping at a scab. "I love him or at least I think I do. I'm scared to tell him. I'm scared he'll leave or push me away or something. He used to have weird mood swings. He used to be very closed off and rude and just a cold person. He was scared to open up and that made him confused at what was happening, but he's warmed up."

"He tortured me." The boy quivered

I leaned back looking at his now cleaned face which was slightly bruising and swollen. "I know and I'm sorry. They shouldn't be calling you dangerous than coming in here and beating your face in. Can't practice what they preach."

"They're going to kill me aren't they," he asked leaning more towards me.

I frowned, "They-they haven't particularly decided on what they want to do with you."

Suddenly his face was buried in my chest his tears quickly moistening my clavicle. "Please miss; please tell them I'm not bad! Don't let them kill me please. You know I aint bad you said it yourself. I've done nothing wrong here. Please tell them I'm a good person a good, innocent person doesn't deserve to be executed."

His words hit me as he sobbed. I wrapped my arms around him folding his quivering body into mine. "Don't worry I'll talk to them. I'll make sure they at least hear you out and know you're innocent. I won't let them execute you." I whispered softly to him stroking the bad of his head while rubbing circles around his back how a mother might comfort her child. "It's going to be okay." I placed my head on his closing my eyes and smiling trying to ignore his hysterical crying and violet trembling underneath me.

"Thank you," was all he said between shallow breaths.

"My older brother Keegan used to do this to me when I cried. Tuck me away in his strong arms soothe me until all the tears had dried out. Tell me to stop being such a sissy." I choked on laughter me now being the one to cry. "He used to say 'Rose now you listen to me, you will come across so many boys in your life and they'll all break your heart every one of them except me. I'll never break your heart because you're my sister and I love you.' Well he broke my heart when he died; left me alone with no one to hold me when I cried." I sighed my breath shaking. "He always knew I was weak from the start."

"You ain't weak Rose," he told me. "You're brave enough to come in here and talk to me even after all you've heard."

"Like I said, I'm not one to judge." I pulled away from him grabbing him by the shoulders smiling.

Suddenly the barn door shook open. I shrieked scrambling backwards tripping over Randal's leg making me crash to the wooden floor bringing the boy with me. I felt the breath leave my chest as Randal fell atop me, he tried to move off but it was too late. Daryl had charged in taking a fist full of Randal's shirt, pulling him up into the air, and throwing him against the barn wall. Daryl kept coming kicking Randal hard in the ribs blood pooling from his previously cleaned mouth until Daryl pushed him up and pressed a knife to his neck. "Give me a reason," he said through gritted teeth, "Give me one god damn reason!"

I scrambled to my feet pulling at Daryl's shoulder. "I know what it looks like but I tripped and he fell when you came in. I got scared and fell."

Daryl dug his knife a little deeper into Randal's neck who squirmed with fright. "He was trying to rape you Rose, don't you see like the rest of his group does."

"No I wasn't! I swear! I would never do that!" Randal exclaimed.

"Why the hell were you even in here!" he snapped eyes on me.

I opened my mouth then closed it trying to find the words. "I came to hear him out. To clean him up. To undo the damage you, and Shane, and Rick did."

"I didn't do any damage! I was protecting my own! I was protecting you!" He spat.

Randal squirmed underneath the knife. "She don't need no protecting."

"Who gave you the right to tell me what she needs!" Blood trickled off the knife onto the floor. "I told you to stay away from him! Why can't you listen to me Rose? Why do you always have to get yourself into bad situations? Are you trying to get yourself hurt? Are you trying to hurt me?"

"Hurt you?" my voice caught in my throat.

Daryl looked down at the ground before stepping away from Randal who crumbled to the floor clinging to his neck as he coughed. "If something every happened to you, if he or one of his group members got a hold of you, if you died…I wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing I could have done something more to make sure you were okay."

I took a step forward, "Dar-"

"When you walked off and I saw Andrea not on post and then I saw Shane I knew you went down here because I knew you'd want to talk to him. I knew you wanted to see what I had done to him. He's manipulative and I thought he might tell you something or make you do something. I had to make sure you were okay." He told me quietly. "I always need you to be okay." I took a step towards him but he just took one back. "I hate what you're doing to me Rose. I hate that you make me so worried about you. I hate that I care about you. I hate that I have to protect you. I hate that I love you."

I gasped at his confession, he seemed to be shocked by his own words also because as soon as they left his mouth he had fled the barn. "Daryl!" I called out running after him but he was gone.

* * *

><p>Rose is finally growing some balls ya?<p>

Tell what you guys think

xoxo-Kate


	9. Chapter 9

"He's gone then," The wood creaking at his weight as he sat down on the porch beside me. My voice was not allowing me to bring it any louder. There was a slight pain in my chest right where the ability came from.

He glanced off into the distance. "Yes."

"And you shot him?" I asked turning to look at him.

"Yes." Daryl nodded averting my eyes.

I sighed. "I'm going to miss him. He was the only one that accepted me when I first joined." I squeezed my eyes fighting back the waterworks. It was becoming easier to not cry around Daryl, and not cry in general. I felt myself becoming adapt to this world; I felt myself becoming stronger.

We were both afraid to break the unnerving silence that had slithered up between us. We both knew what was on our minds, but neither of us could gather the courage to talk about it. "You never told me your brother's name was Keegan." His voice was quiet, but his words were loud.

I winced. "You never asked." My reply was far too quiet to try and be brave.

"I didn't want to bring it up." He told me moving over to be nearer to me. "I wish you would have opened up more about him. You put up such a high wall when it came to him I was scared to try and break it."

"Don't tell me I put up too high of walls," I shook my head smiling sarcastically. "I didn't want you to baby me more than you already did. I didn't want you to pity me. I didn't want you to feel sorry for me."

He reached his hand out to grab my hand but I recoiled it. "You could have come to me for comfort."

"What and cry on your shoulder like a child!" I spat at him moving away from him.

"Don't push me away Rose," his eyes quivered.

I laughed. "Are you kidding me? All you did when I first met you was push me away and push me away until I was ready to just not even bother, but then you'd reel me back in."

"I only did that because I was scared." He pinched the bridge of his nose looking at the ground. "You made me weak."

"What…" I was caught off guard by the sudden turn of events.

Daryl looked up at me. "I was fine before you came along. I was in survival mode. I was good on my own with no one to care about. Until I found you; lost and alone in that car trembling in my arms. You would look at me for protection, and that made me feel good about myself like someone actually _needed _me. You needed me to look out for you and for once in my life I felt important." He sighed. "Slowly the feelings began to flood in. I started noticing how pretty you are, how I get this feeling in my stomach when you laughed, how completely stupid you are when it comes to surviving, how dumb your jokes are, how you love my stories, how you can just bloke out the end of the world…You were growing on me and that scared me because instead of survival mode I had gone into defense mode making sure you were always safe. I would save you rather than myself. I would die before I let you die. That scared me." I opened my mouth but he held up his hand to silence me. "I realized later how I didn't need to be scared because love is all about sacrifices and I would sacrifice myself to keep you safe if I had to. I have to protect the thing I love. Rose, I love you."

My words caught in my throat as he oozed out his feelings to me. "I lo-!"

"Daryl! Daryl!" Shane was shouting running at us blood dripping from his nose. "Randal's escaped. He attacked me!"

Daryl grabbed me by the wrist yanking me off the steps. "Go inside. Stay with Andrea and Lori. Do not come outside until I come back." Before I could respond he gave me a light push up the steps and he was off.

I never got the chance to say it back.

* * *

><p>"I'm not leaving without my boy," Lori frantically paced along the porch.<p>

Carol wrapped an arm around her. "It's okay we'll find him."

Daryl pushed open the door of the house watching it bang off the back wall and slam shut once more. "Where's Rose?" he turned to T-Dog. "Where is she? I didn't see her in that house at all. I haven't seen her anywhere. Where is she?"

T-Dog gaped at the redneck racking his brain for something of the girl but he can't picture her being in the house. "I-I don't know. She came in the house for a bit then disappeared."

"She left." The youngest daughter, Beth, stepped forward her mother clinging to her arm. "Said she couldn't be in the house."

Daryl stepped closer to her. "Did she tell you where she went?"

Beth shook her head. "She kept mumbling something about you but that's it."

"God damnit!" Daryl exclaimed kicking the white fence around the porch snapping the wood in half.

* * *

><p>I could hear them. There sloppily, torn apart hands banging on the wooden doors. I could hear the wood snapping in some parts of the barn door as numbers were increasing. I knew a few could not break it down, but get an enormous horde and I was done for. I wonder if they could smell me in here; somewhere I was not even suppose to be. I wonder if they personally hunted me down or it was just stupidity of a dead brain that brought them here. I knew if I did not get out of here quick I was most surely dead. They growled just behind the entrance their hands falling into the same beat. What was there to do? That's when I heard the long board being bolted for defense against the door. It was Rick and Carl. "Rick?" I spoke softly . "What's going on?"<p>

Rick put a finger to his lips ushering me to come to him. "We're under attack, stay close to me."

Unconditionally tears welled up in my eyes. "We're going to die aren't we?"

"No." Rick grabbed me by the shoulders. "We're going to leave her together and alive. Okay Rose now I need to be strong and help up."

I took a breath trying to regain a neutral composer. "What can I do?" Rick handed me a gas can in response. He threw out an idea of leading the walkers inside the barn just to set it ablaze. I listened and did what he told me to do littering the stacks of hay and different assortments of wood with gasoline. All the while I kept falling back to my consciousness remembering I had never shared my words of affection to Daryl just as he did to me. I had left him without reassurance of my heart. I hoped he knew it was with him; one hundred percent with him.

Rick flung the gas can down and grabbed Carl pushing him towards the ladder. "Rose, go with Carl." He instructed guiding me to it quickly. Once we were both up in safety Rick began to bang on the barn door attracting more walkers before opening the door and leading them into their doom. Rick climbed the ladder instructing Carl to drop the lighter igniting the myriad of dead. We stood on the side of the barn desperately trying to call on of the cars over. Rick shouts filled the air as he flagged down Jimmy who was driving the R.V. hoping he'd come to help us. Off in the distance I could hear Daryl motorcycle revving and my chest pumped my yearn just to be with him out of this mess increased. Rick's fingers slid into mine as he helped me onto the R.V. "Come on!" he whispered leading us away from the R.V. Jimmy's screams echoing off of it as they tore him apart.

I dug my feet into the ground. "I have to find Daryl." Rick was still pulling me along despite my protest. "I have to find him. We can't leave him here!"

Rick's hand was still grasping my forearm. "I know, but we need to get out of here in one piece."

We made it back up to the farm safely even though my feet refused to move until he agreed to find Daryl; he never did. He was trying to get us away from the farm the most efficient way possible. Which, of course, was by car. That is when we found Hershel firing off round with his shotgun. He was refusing to leave his farm saying he would die with it.

"Hershel! Come on!" Rick shouted trying to get the old man in the car who reluctantly, after realizing his loss, climbed into the truck.

"I didn't see him Rick. Where was he? Rick!" I exclaimed clawing at the window as he plowed over zombies trying to make an exit. "You said one piece we're all scattered! Where is he?!" I pounded on the window looking around the farm seeing no motorcycle. "He was here! What if he got taken down? What if no one was there to save him! He spends all his time saving other people, all his time saving me! What if I wasn't there to save him?"

Hershel was silent along with Carl. Both were extremely calm in scene of our crisis. Here I was blubbering to Rick about my issue. "It's going to be okay Rose. You just need to calm down. We'll head back to the highway and make a plan from there." Suddenly I felt myself bring my head back and slam it forward into the window of the car. My head was ringing, my ears were pounding, my vision was stirring. "He's going to be okay Rose! He's going to be fine! Listen, don't jump to conclusions!" Someone was shouting at me, but I couldn't make out the voice. Was that Rick? Or Hershel? I brought my head back again and slammed it into the window once more, twice more, thrice more until the side of my face was sticky, and drenched in my own blood. "Rose!" I heard a distant voice yelling at me but all I could make out was the trees flying by but they began to splotch. Something was shaking me which made me slam my head one last time. I heard the sweet cracking of glass. I was yanked sideways into something. My head was spinning as black dots filled my eyes while my head was lolling on my shoulders. This was the end. It was peaceful. Death must be far more peaceful than this hell.

My mouth tasted of iron as blood seeped into as I tried to smile. "I love you." Somehow, I hoped, he could hear me finally say it back.

* * *

><p>Please, I am begging you to just give me some feedback.<p>

Tell me what you all are thinking.

I want to know if I am doing anything wrong or if there is something in particular you like about this story.

I want to know your thoughts on what is to come.

Please 3

Lots of Love xoxo- Kate


	10. Chapter 10

"Where the hell is she!" Daryl's voice echoed down the highway.

Rick walked towards him. "She's fine Daryl, but we have to deal with her when we are in a safer area than this."

"What do you mean 'deal with her'? She ain't a dog!" he exclaimed taking up a threatening stance. "Now you tell me where she in sheriff before I send this arrow straight through your skull." He spat pointing his crossbow into Rick's face.

Lori stepped up holding out her hands. The shouting was just going to attract that herd. "Daryl you need to calm down."

"Just tell me where she is." He faltered.

Rick nodded. "She's lying down in the back seat." He pointed to the red truck.

His crossbow clattered to the road as he took a step back away from the truck. "No!" He rammed his foot into the side of the vehicle. "No, no, no!" he was running his hands through his hair pulling at the strands. Seeing her hurt was heartbreaking.

Hershel stepped forward. "She's alright Daryl, but I haven't had the chance to tend to her wounds just yet."

"Why! Why did you let this happen! When did this happen!" Daryl went to punch the car as well but stopped short. His fingers trailing the blood stained cracked window where she had slammed herself into. Daryl choked before sobbing. "Oh Rose," he cried brushing away the sticky hair from her forehead. "Why did you do this?"

"Before we lost her," Rick spoke up. "She said I love you."

Daryl stepped away from the car picking up his crossbow. He sniffed walking towards Hershel sticking his finger into the old man's chest. "You better fix her and if her face has one little scar or damage you better hope the walkers get you before I do."

* * *

><p>Everything was black. My limbs were heavy. My throat was blocked, and even though I could feel cold water on my face I was abnormally hot. I could see one single light ahead of me desperately pulling me towards it trying to get me to walk into it, but another force was pulling me into darkness and pain and agony. Why couldn't this other being let me walk towards the light? Why does it want me in pain? Why was it shaking me? Stop. Stop! Someone shouted but it wasn't me. It couldn't be. My throat was closed. Nothing was around me. My stomach churned as I had a sensation of being sucked through a tube. I was spinning and spinning and falling and falling. My head was throbbing and my face was sticky.<p>

"Rose."

My name. That was my name. My name is Rose. I felt the fluttering of my eyelashes on my cheeks as I tried to unglue my eyes from each other. Bright light flooded into my sight and I found myself opening and closing my eyes adjusting to the shining sun beaming down at me. An angel appeared in front of me. He appeared in front of me. I slowly brought my hand up to his cheek laying it there feeling the prickling sensation on his forming facial hair. "Heaven." I smiled knowing this was my heaven now that he was here with me.

"Rose. You aren't dead." He told me grabbing my hand off his face and squeezing it.

Then it all began to flood in. The farm. The herd. The fire. "Daryl!" I exclaimed wrapping my hands around his neck. "I-I thought you were dead!"

He molded into me putting most of the weight on him. "Do you remember what happened? How you hurt your head?" At his words my head began to sting and I tried to reach up to touch it but he grabbed my hand. "Hershel used one of my shirts to keep it bandaged it's pretty banged up."

"I remember going in the barn because I couldn't stand knowing I never said it back. I had to get some air and think." I shivered. "Rick came in all frantic and that's when I heard the horde. Rick helped me, tried to get me out of there safe. I went to find you, but I couldn't hear your motorcycle and Rick wouldn't let me go look for you." My body began to tremble in his arms. "I-I was devastated knowing I never told you it back and you had died. I thought you had died without knowing how I feel."

Daryl tightened his grip on me. "Why did you hurt yourself sweetheart?"

"I don't know." I shook. "Something came over me and I was slamming my head on the window until I was senseless. I just wanted to be at peace."

"When I came back to the farmhouse and they told me you were nowhere to be seen I nearly lost it." He whispered to me trying to soothe my panic state. "I wanted you to be with me at the time of crisis. I couldn't handle if I had lost you." He kissed the side of my head.

I pulled away so I could look at his face. "I love you." I told him. "I wish I would have said it sooner, but it still means the same."

"I love you too." He smiled leaning towards me to kiss my lips lightly. "Just please don't off yourself because you think I might be dead. You have to be strong; you don't need me to keep you safe and sane."

I leaned backwards tucking my arms underneath each other. "I can't promise you that. You die, I die because we'll both go down with a fight."

Daryl frowned. "Everybody's kind of off at the moment." He said softly reaching over to fiddled with my fingers.

"How long was I out?" I asked trying to straighten up but it was failing my body was to asleep to move much. Daryl climbed behind me grabbing me from under the armpits to lean me against his chest in a sitting position.

"About a day." He said tucking the hair behind my ear. "Shane is dead." He said bluntly. I half-expected to be satisfied but I was not; instead I felt a twinge of sadness and guilt for my rude friend. "Rick killed him." I stared at Daryl waiting for him to tell me he was lying but the look in his eyes told me otherwise. Rick killed Shane? They were best friends why would Rick kill him? "Said it was because Shane tried to kill him. Everyone's just scared to be out on their own so they're staying with Rick, but he's scaring them and the whole thing about us being infected."

"Us being infected?" I questioned my voice quivering.

Daryl sighed. "We all carry the virus. When we die no matter how we come back as one of them. The only thing that stops it is a shot to the head."

I stared off into the darkness trying to grasp all this new information. The panic attack was rising in my stomach along with the vomit. "We have to stay with Rick. He's just a little off his feet at the moment. He's only doing what's best for everyone. We have to stay with him."

"You don't think I know that." His chest vibrated from behind me as he laughed.


	11. Chapter 11

I was shivering against his chest watching his fingers pluck at the owl feathers. Squeezing my eyes, I tried to focus on everything but that awful crunching of a dead animal. Footsteps replaced the ghastly sound making me tense slightly. Daryl put a hand on my shoulder easing me as Carl stepped into the room and sat down placing two cans of dog food between his legs. My stomach growled as he twisted the cap off. Everyone was silent thinking how inhuman they had all become to survive. Living off dog food? Was this what it was coming too? Rick wouldn't have any of it as he stormed up to Carl knocking the cans out of his hands. A layer of fright fell over the room as Rick looked around begging for someone to believe that was wrong for us for wanting to eat dog food.

"Pst," T-Dog hissed nodding towards the window. Stray walkers were staggering close to the house. It wasn't safe here. I wasn't safe anywhere. Daryl grabbed me by the wrist as we piled sneakily out of the house not daring to let me go as we weaved through the walkers taking out the ones posing threats. We piled into the cars, me sliding behind Daryl on his motorbike, and then we were off in search of a new place to rest our heads.

Daryl had stopped in the middle of the road looking behind him to see the other cars slow down. "Why are we stopping?" I asked him as he helped me off the bike. Trees surrounded us for miles down the long stretch of road.

"Where is there to go." He looked around. "We need to figure out a plan on where we might be able to go. There's no immediate threat here." I nodded wanting nothing more than to curl up on a bed with a blanket and sleep until this thing was over. My stomach growled and his eyes flickered down to my stomach. "You hungry?"

"It's nothing." I told him placing a hand on my midriff.

He sighed. "You should have told me. I would have done something."

"Unless you have the power to create pizza there's not much you can do." I rolled my eyes giving him a reassuring smile.

"I'll find you something." He told me before walking off towards the group huddled around the car.

It was my turn to sigh as I watched him disappear in the discussion. I looked around spotting Carl staring down the road waiting for a hazard to appear. I trudged towards him finding best to make conversation in hard times. "It was a nice gesture you know. Finding food."

"Everyone went hungry. That's not nice." He kept his eyes ahead

I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's the thought that counts."

"Really? Because I don't think this is Christmas." He shrugged my hand off. "Now go find a situation to get yourself messed up in so Daryl will come rescue you."

"Excuse me?" I was taken aback by his sassy remark. I have never known him to be rude.

He glared. "Face it Rose, you're weak. You don't contribute. All you do is sit around waiting for Daryl to come back from actually doing something."

"Oh," was all I could say letting his honest words seep into my skin. "You sound just like Shane." He looked around the trees not daring break his hard stare. "It's okay Carl. I know you're angry with me for something and you're right I don't contribute. I'll try to change that." I said then stalked off to sit against the car. Maybe conversation was not the best thing after all.

* * *

><p>"Are we going to be able to clear it?" I asked in a hushed whisper.<p>

Daryl gave my hand a squeeze smiling. "Have a little faith." He pulled me in behind him as we ducked under the fence to get inside the small walkway of gravel. Walkers began to gather around the fence as the smell of human flesh wafted into their dead noses. Glenn sealed off our entrance, but before I could take it in Daryl's grip on my arm returned and we were running along the fence following Rick. I flinched every time a new walker pressed itself against the fence snarling at us. I tried to shake the feeling of fright but how could I deny my fears. Carl was right. Shane was right. I am weak. Even after possibly a year in this apocalypse I still haven't wrapped my head around it. I still have to look to Daryl for saving. Poor innocent Beth was stronger than me. What was wrong with my brain?

"We'll take the field by tonight." Rick told everybody as we stopped near one of the towers.

Hershel stepped forward. "How will we close the gate?"

"I'll do it." Glenn offered. "You guys cover me."

"No," Maggie shook her head. "Suicide run."

I was glancing around the group watching everyone's face when Rick gave them orders. They looked so...determined. Walkers were gathering while some remained inert in the field. Someone had to close that gate. Someone...I rolled my shoulders back shaking off that feeling building in my stomach. "I'll go for the gate," Rick groaned almost as everyone sprinted off to their designated jobs.

Daryl's hand was pulling me, but I dug my heels into the ground. This was my chance. "Rick," I called out. "I'll run for the gate."

Rick eyed Daryl who stood flabbergasted next to me. "Are you sure?"

"Are you sure! Absolutely not! Rose you're coming with me no question." Daryl exclaimed yanking on my arm.

I pulled at my arm but I knew he was stronger than me as his fingers dug into the skin on my arm. "Let me do this. I don't want to be scared anymore. I want to do something good for everybody."

"You don't need to prove yourself Rose." His lip was quivering downward.

I placed my other hand atop of his. "I'm doing this for myself Daryl. Let me do this."

He groaned before grabbing my face and leaning down to kiss my forehead. "I love you, ya idiot." Then he sprinted off.

"I'll watch your back." Rick told me standing by the fence with Lori. I nodded trying to get all distractions from my mind. I closed my eyes breathing deeply. _One…two…three…_Lori had opened the gate and Rick and I piled out both crouched trying to get to the gate without being seen. Gun shots echoed around us as the group picked off the strays in the field. My grip tightened in the locks as I sprinted up the gravel hill rushing to close the gate and be done with this. Rick stopped taking out a walker behind us as my fingers fumbled to open the locks. I grabbed the side of the gate shaking the whole way and yanked it closed kicking a walker down as it appear in the path of the closing gate. I locked both sides before stepping away beaming at myself. Rick didn't give me any basking time as he grabbed my wrist and pulled me towards the tower. He didn't release me until we reached the top.

"I can't believe I did that." I leaned against the railing of the tower. "I have such an adrenaline rush."

Rick loaded his gun chuckling lightly at me. "I'm proud of you Rose that was really brave of you. What made you do it?"

"Carl." I glanced sideways at him. "He told me I was weak. That I didn't contribute."

"I'll talk to him." he gritted his teeth pulling the trigger taking out a walker.

I shook my head. "No don't. I'm not mad at him, he was right. I am weak. He actually kind of helped me."

* * *

><p>"Little help…" I trailed off staring up at him from the bottom of the tipped over truck. He held out his hand to me as I stepped up onto one of the tires and pulled me up. "Thanks." I held out the bowl of meat to him.<p>

Daryl took is eagerly hungry from the day's work. "Did you eat?"

"Yeah. Of course I did." I nodded sticking my hands in the back of my pockets looking around the clear field.

"You're lying." He spoke softly swallowing the contents in his full mouth. "Why aren't you eating? I thought you were hungry?"

"Lori's eating for two she needs more, and Hershel's old he needs my portions too." I explained to him.

He reached out and grabbed my hand trailing his fingers up the length of arm giving me goosebumps along my body. "You need the nutrition Rose. If you keep this portion shit up you won't be able to run, you'd pass out." he sighed squeezing my shoulder lightly. "You're getting all bony." The frown on his face deepened.

I smiled leaning into his hand when it touched upon my cheek. "Don't worry once we get some of the food in here and there a lot I'll be eating more because we won't have to ration as much." I pulled away. "I think I need a haircut too." I told him raking my fingers through my hair that now reached my tailbone.

Daryl grabbed my two hands slowly leading me to lie next to him on the truck. We were both on our backs staring at the dark sky twinkling with little specks of star light. "It's beautiful ain't it."

"I guess." I trailed off turning over to press my head to his chest mesmerizing myself with the sound of his heartbeat. "Lori's almost due. I'm scared."

"It's going to be loud," He responded. "A walker alarm."

"Do you think it's best for them to be bringing a baby up in an environment like this?" I asked.

He shook his head. "No, but what choice do they have."

I sighed thinking of all the possibilities of what they could have done. I had never been for abortion kind of person, but this was different. Bringing up an innocent baby in a dark, damaged world like this where it may not be able to get food or possibly defend itself. "Do you think once this is over we could have a baby, me and you?" I asked suddenly. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up but no woman can deny the need for a child. His silence answered me that he was still afraid of committing especially when it meant along the lines of a family. I had never heard much of Daryl's family before the walkers came but I could infer it wasn't so great. I knew he had Merle, but it seemed like Merle was always gone, getting in trouble with the law. He never spoke much of his parents, but perhaps his father was gone most of the time too. From what I recall when we first spoke he said his dad was off with some waitress while he was lost in the woods. Perhaps his home life was something Daryl was not too fond of speaking about.

"Why don't we get over apocalypse, then I'll think about it." He spoke monotony.

I could not drop it. "Would you want to have a child in the future though? When the situation is right?"

He coughed awkwardly. "Maybe I don't know Rose I don't really want to talk about this."

"Okay." I replied sharply plunging us both in silence.

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><p>Rose finally grew some balls ;)<p>

Thanks everyone for reading this

It means a lot to me

I would appreciate it if I could get some more feed back on what you all are feeling about this story? What's your opinion? What do you want to see in the future? What you guess will happen? I love stuff like that.

Lot's of Love xoxo- Kate 3

You all mean the world to me :)


	12. Chapter 12

You guys can criticize all you like I really don't mind.

Just something-anything to see what you all think.

I am dying over here

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><p>I stepped into to cell block C and something felt immediately right. Not only did it feel right but it felt safe. The locked doors, the gates, the quiet, it all just fit so perfectly. Everyone was wearily walking in holding onto their things finding a cell that looked seemingly decent. I knew at once Daryl would oppose to sleeping in one of the cells, but I would do anything with him and if that meant giving up even safer measures than that's fine. I held my little bag in my hand as I walked up the steps slowly watching as Daryl made a makeshift bed. All around me the group was cozying themselves up in separate rooms. "So the floor it is?" I said quietly walking up one step at a time suddenly exhausted.<p>

He looked up at me his eyes told me I had interrupted his moment of comfort. "Rose, you take one of those rooms. Go with Beth or Rick or someone I'm not having you on this floor."

"I want to be with you," I told him reaching the top of the steps dropping my belonging next to his. "No matter what the situation." I fell to my knees first to position myself next to his warm body.

"Just for tonight." He said sternly holding onto me almost too tight. "Then you go sleep in one of the cells."

I buried my face into his chest over whelming emotion flooding over me. "Not without you."

"I'll think about it," he grumbled chuckling lightly. I started to lightly laugh with him, but that turned into sobs and I was crying my eyes out into his shirt. For reasons I could not fathomed to try and figure out.

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><p>"I hate that you're going back in there." I sighed tucking away a piece of fly-away hair of his.<p>

He gave me a reassuring smile. "Now you know how I feel half the time."

"Yeah but I have the right to worry." I smiled back resting my hand on his cheek.

Daryl pulled me into his arms. "Just because I am a man does not mean I should not worry."

I buried my face in his chest. "I love you."

"I love you more." I felt his lips on the top of my head.

I pulled away letting go of him. "I love you most." Then he was off into the tombs with Rick, Hershel, T-Dog, Glenn, and Maggie. Someone was tugging at my hand pulling me back.

"Come on," Beth instructed me. "You'll sit there all day." I furrowed my eyebrows at her as she guided me into her cell. "I know what happened that day back at the farm, with you head. I just want to make sure you don't hurt yourself again or waste your time in front of a iron gate." She sat down on her bed staring at me.

"Why?" I asked. I talked to Beth once at the farm and that was the last day we were all on it. I had told her I was going to the barn to get some air and think about what Daryl had said. Other than that we had both been quiet while on the road before we came across the prison. The blonde girl was only seventeen-five years my junior. I was surprised by my lack of trying to befriend her.

Beth shrugged. "I just thought maybe we could be friends."

I stared at her wanting to smile but I held back. "Why?"

She chuckled at my questioning. "We're in the middle of an apocalypse and someone asked to be your friend and you are so unwilling to accept." She sighed. "We'll be in this prison for a long time and up to this point I thought you hated me."

"I don't-why would I-what?" It was my turn to laugh.

"I don't know…" she trailed off. "I thought you hated me for telling Daryl you were in the barn."

"Beth," I crossed the room taking the Greene into my arms. "I never hated you and I never will."

"Honestly I was getting real tired of doing laundry with Carol and her telling me about her boring job before the walkers." She rolled her eyes after we had released each other.

I opened my mouth to say something back but the iron gate swung open and Hershel was rushed in on a metal tray. I felt Beth rush past me and of course I followed her into his cell a room over. "Oh my…" I gasped staring at his severed leg now furiously bleeding. "What happened?"

"He got bit." Rick said without looking at me "Here," He instructed taking my hands and pressing it to where his leg should have been. "Hold it there." I could already feel the blood seeping onto my hands as I pressed on the wound. He would bleed out if we did not stop this now, and where had Rick gone? Rick returned with a white cloth, which resembled a pillow case, and swapped our hands out so he was now pressing on the stump.

Beth pressed herself onto me. "Is he going to die?"

I wrapped my arm around her pulling her under my wing, not just in the physical meaning. "No. Your dad is a tough son of a bitch." She was trembling. I wanted to grab her hand but Hershel's blood covered my palms and fingers.

"It's you're lucky day fellas," Daryl's voice rang through my ears and my hold on Beth dropped as I left Hershel's room in a hurry to find him. "You've been pardon by the state of Georgia." He was talking to someone and maybe by the state of the still locked door I shouldn't go over there but I needed too. I needed to make sure he was okay something that would kill me one of these days. I walked up to the door sliding my hands around the cold, metal beams and looked out at him as he had his crossbow pointed in full defense mode at former prisoners.

"Don't be telling me what my concern is." One of the said pulling out a gun Daryl quick to take action lifted his weapon up further. I gripped the beams tighter.

"Daryl." I spoke quietly from the locked door. His grip faltered on his crossbow and he held now a scared expression on his face. "Daryl, come back in here."

"Why don't you listen to your little lady," the one said still holding a gun.

Daryl stepped towards him shaking with anger trying to keep his crossbow centered. "Rose. Get out of here."

My hands were shaking against the door as I tried to open it blood smearing on the metal. "Please Daryl, I don't have keys. Let me in there or come back in here."

"Rick!" Daryl shouted suddenly and hands wrapped around my middle pulling me away from to doors.

"Just stay put a minute please," Rick told me carefully carrying me to one of the cells and setting me on the bed inside it then he took off by Daryl. My heart was pounding in my chest as I listened to the two groups argue why or why not the other should say. The gun in the prisoner's hand kept flashing in my mind and I kept waiting to hear the sound of the bullet leaving it's hone. But when I strained my ears hard enough I caught nothing. They went silent.

I pushed off the bed shuffling over to where everyone was huddled around Hershel's inert body. I involuntarily grabbed Beth's hand in mine giving it a tight squeeze. She gave a choked cry and buried herself in my chest.

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><p>"You need to not do things like that Rose." He spoke picking up his bag from the ground.<p>

Instead of moving he stared at me waiting for my response. "I was worried…I wanted to make sure you were okay."

He sighed stepping towards me. "I know darlin' but you could have gotten hurt." He reached down and grabbed my hand.

"I'm sorry Daryl. I just get a weird impulse when it comes to you." I told him quietly as he led me to one of the cells. "I didn't think it would have escalated any further."

Daryl placed his things on the small desk in the room finally relieved to have somewhere to put everything he once had to carry. He turned to the cell door closing it slowly. "They're still in the prison somewhere. I don't want you wandering around unless you're with someone." He commanded as he locked the door with his set of keys before placing them on the table and turning to me grabbing my hands in his. He always had to be touching a part of me, either my hands or shoulders and head. He need to know I would never stray far from him. Not because of fear of my death, but fear of me letting go of him. I hoped he knew that was never an option for me. "I know you can take care of yourself and you don't need to be watched over like a child and that's not my mind set. For the time being until we know more I would just feel better if you were with someone."

"As long as it's you," I smiled stepping towards him leaning up to press my lips to his. He whimpered into my mouth and for the first time he was weak in my arms. Warmth spread throughout my body as I had realized those walls he had once built so high for me and for everyone had come tumbling down. He didn't need to protect himself from people who cared about him. Of course he was still my strong, gallant Daryl, but this time he wouldn't ever have to doubt his feelings. He would never have to doubt my feelings. I took a step backwards towards the bed collapsing back onto it. My hands stayed locked around his neck as my legs involuntary wrapped themselves around his waist. His arms pushed us back so my head was resting on the pillow.

He pulled away from me his fingers trailing along my abdominal area pushing my shirt up. "I love you."

"I love you more," I told him my breathing uneven.

"I love you most." He gave me one last look of sincerity until we divulged into sinful acts.


	13. Chapter 13

To be honest I don't write very much detailed smut just because this is not a porno, it's a story.

But if you guys really want me too I can. It does not bother me to write it in. Whatever pleases you all

Once again I plea to you all to give some comments on anything. I can handle criticism and compliments. I'm neutral over here just looking on if I should even continue on with this story.

Thanks

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><p>"Where's Glenn and Maggie? We could use the help." Carol wiped the sweat on her hands off onto her jeans.<p>

Daryl stepped forward pointing upward. "They're up in the guard tower."

"Guard tower? They were up there all night." Rick sounded astounded. My eyes flickered to Daryl who was looking back at me giving me a sweet wink. A sudden prickly feeling shot through me with thoughts of our blissful night running through my head. My hand wandered up to my neck where he had laid countless subtle kisses while his hand trailed down my arm across my midriff down my thigh. His mouth traveling the same distance as his hands leaving love bites on the bone's of my hips and collars and shoulders. A heat was building in my stomach just thinking of our actions in that cell and I longed to reach over to touch him, to feel him, to need him. I wanted him close to me afraid this feeling would fade. No, not just the lust I craved for the redneck but my love for him was a burning flame. I wanted to feel his veins, feel the blood rushing in him to know he was alive. I wanted him to do that same so he could feel how alive he made me feel.

I hadn't noticed I closed my eyes, or the fact my hair was blowing in my face blocking out everything around me. But Daryl's arm was quickly around my waist pulling me into his warm side. "Stay close to me." He whispered.

I smiled up at him pushing the hair from my face. "Did you read my mind?"

"What? No. Those prisoners are back." Daryl furrowed his eyebrows but then smiled. "Why what were you thinking of?"

"You," I reached up running my hand along the hair next to his ear.

"Oh really?" he smirked wrapping the other arm around me pulling me up to meet his lips.

"Daryl. Rose. Knock it off." Rick hissed as we began following him up towards the convicts.

* * *

><p>"You got it Hook." I softly gripped onto Hershel's shoulder helping to steady the old man.<p>

Carl looked at me sideways a glimmer of some forming respect but also confusion. "From Peter Pan?" he asked.

I nodded. "Didn't Hook only have one foot?"

"I think you should rewatch that film Rose because Hook only lost his hand." Beth laughed. "Hence the name Hook."

"Oh…" I trailed off. "Still one of my favorites right next to Beauty and the Beast."

Lori laughed this time. "Sounds like you at the moment."

"Excuse me?" I looked at her a bit taken aback by her rude comment on my relationship. Who did she think she was? She was the one about to give birth to a baby she didn't even know the father to.

"Don't get me wrong Rose I'm just saying it's a bit ironic." She shrugged. "Him being who he is and you being who you are. I guess opposites attract right."

I glared at her stepping forward. "Don't get me wrong _Lori _I'm just saying maybe you should stop burring you nose in other people's business and focus on yourself for once like that fact you have Shane Jr. about to pop out of you any day now or the fact your husband hates you." Another step forward and Hershel's crutch was against my stomach stopping me. "When he's upset he doesn't go to you because you're untrustworthy, you're not loyal. Learn the basic before insulting an expert."

"Oh so you're an expert on life now are you? Tell me how old are you 17, 18 because you couldn't pass a day over twenty with your attitude; cowering half the time, relying on Daryl to do everything for you. Tell me Rose how much I am doing wrong with my life that makes you doubt my whole existence." Lori spat.

"Enough." Hershel sternly said. "You are both upset, tired, and just emotional. Take a step back and reevaluate the situation. Lori didn't mean to insult Daryl and you, Rose. Now Rose you didn't mean to insult Lori's decisions. Now apologize like grownups."

I sighed realizing how immature I had been. "Lori I'm sorry I didn't mean that I'm just…ya know…well moody I guess. I didn't mean what I said I just said because I wasn't thinking. It's your life you can live how you want to and you aren't doing a bad job. You're a great mother and wife."

Lori opened her mouth a slight glare in her eyes but Carl had screamed. Screamed something that would send everyone into a panic.

"Walkers!"

We all took off. I grabbed Beth's hand as she tried to guide her hobbling father to safety. Guiding them to a set of stairs surrounded by gates that locked. Beth was breathing heavily behind me helping Hershel take out a walker sneakily coming to attack him. I yanked him up the stairs using one crutch to lock the gate shut barricading ourselves inside. Watching around as the prison fell apart. Daryl was still gone but I bet they were running back because if I listened hard enough I could hear him yelling. I knew best than to run out to him, I had to watch over Beth and Hershel. I looked across from where we were seeing Lori, Carl, and Maggie disappear into a cell block. I looked behind me Beth and Hershel were safe it's only right to go after Maggie to see if they were safe.

"I'm going to make sure Maggie got them in okay." I started for the gate.

Hershel stuck out his other crutch. "You will not. You will stay right here to make sure Beth and I am safe you understand?"

My face fell. "Hershel please what if something happened? I need to check. It's the brave thing to do."

"Daryl will want you here with us out of harm's way." He stated flatly. "You don't need to prove yourself Rose, you need to be safe. Bravery is much better done alive than dying a death no one wants. You staying here, helping us is braver than throwing yourself into danger."

My fingers clutched the rungs of the fence surrounding us. "A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once." My knuckles were turning white as the war raged in my mind watching my boyfriend be a knight out on that battlefield where I desperately wanted to be. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes trying to block out the now sounding sirens. Without hesitation I ripped the crutch from the door and sprinted off.

Daryl sometimes asks me at night 'Why did you do it?' I respond with something along the lines of I must prove to everyone I'm not weak. Because all of my life all everyone ever called me was weak. Keegan knew I was and spent most of his life trying to help me through it because he knew I was too weak to handle the insult and everything else going on. Daryl then would tell me I'm not weak, but I know he says this just to please my thoughts. But that's not why I ran out to close the fence, that's not why I ran out now. Taking out these zombies weaving my wave through the tombs I finally realized why I did do it. I wasn't proving anything except I was willing to fight because all I ever wanted to do was be by Daryl. Of course it was a stupid reason to want to be brave for someone, but maybe that's my best shot. I never had anybody to be brave for, no one to push me to get strong for them. Because I wanted to fight alongside him and the only way to do that was to prove I could fight. I wanted to be on that battlefield. I didn't need Daryl as my knight and shining armor because I wanted to be my own. I wanted to be independent and brave and selfless and everything it took to survive in this world; to survive in any world. Surviving isn't hiding away until the monsters are gone. Surviving is putting yourself out there not in an act of dauntlessness but in an act of hoping to solve the problem maybe not to 'save the day' but to save yourself wishing of living another day. I am not selfish when I say this but living for yourself was what got you through a day against walkers. I now understand why Daryl was afraid to let me in. I understand why Carl had so much resent for me. I now understand why Keegan left me. Not because he knew I was weak, but because he knew I would become strong without him.

And then the baby's cry and a gun shot rang through my ears.

I followed the sound of the gunshot walking carefully towards the echo trying to piece together everything that just sounded through my canals. Surprisingly the whole corridor I was walking in had no walkers in it so why a gun would be fired? I heard the shuffle of footsteps and turned around seeing Maggie's shadow disappear down the hallway. I walked in her direction catching sight of the sloppily closed door and smell of blood. I yanked the door open lifting my gun eye level keeping my mind sane as the guesses of what went down flying through my brain. But the gun slipped from my hands, the gasp left my mouth, the legs of Lori's dead body now seen. Blood pooled around her like paint sticking to her hair and clothes. Her stomach was cut wide open the umbilical cord hanging carelessly out of her abdominal. The baby was gone and so were Maggie and Carl. I stepped closer to her corpse falling to my knees as the sob choked its way out of my throat. "I'm so sorry," I whispered trying to wipe her sticky bloody hair from her face my fingers lingering over the bullet wound deep in her forehead. "You didn't deserve this." I cleaned the tears off my own face streaking her blood onto my cheeks along with walker debris that was already splattered on me from events before. "I promise I'll look after your baby, and Rick, and never forget how much of a great person you were. Because Lori you were a magnificent person. I love you." I pressed my body into her trying my best to hug her but my form crumbled at the thought of her being gone. Although I knew I was never her favorite she was still my friend and I cared deeply for her. Her blood pool began to seep through my clothes as I fell down to hold her. I let myself cry for five more minutes before I breathed, taking in her already rotting smell, and I stood up regaining my composer as I picked up my gun heading back out to everyone.

Are we all safe? Me, Daryl, Rick, Carl, any of us? Are we really all safe? These turn of events had made me realized we aren't invincible. We all die. We are all going to die. Now it's my choice on how I will die. I will not be torn apart by these things that torment my dreams. I will not cower away in fright wasting away by means of starvation, dehydration, or even loneliness. I will fight. I will be brave. I will survive.

His body was crumpled into a ball on the ground as he wept for his wife. I yearned to go over and shake him to make him realize these things are going to happen but it was far too soon for tough love. "Rose! Rose!" Daryl ran at me crushing me beneath his strong hold he called a hug. I was sheepish to return to tender gesture. "I told you to stay with Hershel! Why did you leave?"

I stepped back my eyes locked on his shoes. "I had to fight. I will not cower."

I couldn't see his expression but I saw his feet shuffle and his voice was dipped deep in confusion. "Are you alright Rose? You got blood on you…did you get bit?"

"No," I shook my head finally looking up to meet his gaze. His beautiful hurt eyes quivering at me with a scared look thoughts of my death flickering through his mind. "It's walker blood and-and…" I trailed off her name refusing to come out of my mouth the sight of her mangled body flashing in my conscience. "It's her blood. I saw her, after she left us."

"Oh Rose…did you?" He asked but I didn't know what about. Did I kill her? Did I deliver the baby? Did I cause her untimely death?

I bit my tongue biting back the tears the fought to get out of my eyes, I would not allow it. Not now, not in front of Daryl. "I found her after she had already passed. I heard the gunshot and saw Maggie. I needed to see what went on in there, but then I found her. Dead. Drenched in her own blood. It looked like she was massacred…It was devastating."

Once more he pulled me into his arms and I tried to keep my knees from wobbling so I wouldn't concave. "It's going to be okay." I ignored his please to make me feel better by pressing my head into his chest. I felt his heart thump against my ear feeling as every pulse got slower as his adrenaline washed away. His hot breath was against my head as he lingered over my temple seeing if it was okay to press a kiss to it to try and calm my state of shock. I didn't need his comfort though. I didn't need his pity for my sadness. I wasn't sad. Lori was a great loss, but I'm not going to string myself up over it. Maybe I was sad by the state of my trembling body or these unconditional tears that had somehow slipped from their prison and streamed down my face. Maybe my body was sad but my mind wasn't . "It's going to be okay." He told me again.

I just buried my face deeper into his chest blocking out everything around me losing myself in the sound of his organs working. "Yea…" I mumbled letting myself submerge into darkness.


	14. Chapter 14

I just realize i skip around a lot so i apologize for that...

Once more I beg for feedback but i won't make it mandatory.

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><p>My hands gripped the edge of the bed curling and uncurling my fingers against the white sheet. My brain refused to form words, or thoughts, or any sign of emotion. I could feel shock. It was building in the pit of my sanity and struggled to be shown, but I wouldn't allow it because right now isn't the time to be emotional. I have to be strong for everyone. I desperately wanted Daryl to come back so I could curl up next to him and cry the pain away, but the baby needed food and he was our strongest fighter.<p>

"Rose," Glenn said softly his feet taking sheepish steps towards me. I didn't dare look up at him for I knew what he wanted. His yearning voice for help as the baby groaned in his hands for nurturing.

I unclenched my hands from the bed placing them on my legs. "Where's Rick?" I asked out of habit already knowing he was on a killing rampage in the tombs where Lori's body still laid. I wanted to go in with him not to kill, but to bring her body out for a proper burial. Knowing how much blood she was drowned in I guessing walkers had already gotten to her unguarded body. The thought made me cringe and guilt drench my bones knowing I could have brought her out safely.

He sighed. "In the tombs. He's been in there for hours." Another stepped was taken towards me and I looked up into his tired eyes. "I have to go dig the…the graves. Can you watch her? Beth and Hershel are trying to find supplies that are available here or else I wouldn't ask."

"Why wouldn't you ask?" I fought back the glare. It's not like he knew a dark secret on how I was a terrible mother because I was never put into situations like that.

Glenn's shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. "Guilt maybe. Shock perhaps."

I nodded. "I see." I looked down at the baby in his arms a slight disgust filling my body looking at the thing that caused Lori's death. I know it wasn't really her fault but I resented the newborn awfully harshly than I should, but of course I knew better. "Be careful out there." I told him outstretching my arms. He placed it carefully in my grasp before stalking off grateful of the burden I had taken away from him. I stared down at the baby with its new eyes looking at me with curiosity. Wet droplets hit her face before I realized I was crying. What was I thinking? It wasn't this poor innocent child who caused Lori to pass so soon how could I even to stir that thought into my head. Was I turning that malice to blame a little infant for the cause of a tragic accident?

"You're beautiful," I whispered to the child cradling her against my chest as I laid down on the bed sobbing to the newborn who didn't even understand but she cooed on my shoulder feeling the comfort of a woman's body. Though she knew best than to believe me as her mother I was the closest thing she had been to a warm, clean chest to lay her head upon. Her tiny hands were grabbing at the skin on my arm. I turned on my side laying her beside me, curling my body around her small one. Together we drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

"Rose. Rose wake up." Daryl's voice lingered into my ears his soft hands trying to wake me sweetly.

I blinked up at his concerned face as beats of sweat streaked down his face."What's wrong?" I asked him gasping slightly at a sharp pain in my arm.

Daryl laughed reaching over and grabbing the baby who was sucking harshly on the skin of my arm. "She's hungry." He held her in his arms watching as Carl began to work with the formula. "Kinda sad I'm not the only one giving you hickeys." He winked at me before I looked down at my arm where a dark shade of purple was forming in a circle on the soft skin.

I rubbed the bruising section. "She probably thought it was where she can get milk." I choked on a laugh.

"We got that." He told me as Carl rushed forward with the bottle letting Daryl shove it quickly in her mouth. We all surrounded around her in amazement.

Beth awed. "What's her name?"

Everyone looked around now curious as to what to call the newborn. "How about little ass kicker?" He looked down at the baby smiling softly. "Ya like that? Lil' ass kicker."

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><p>The ladders on the bunk above were blending with each other as my tired eyes started at them for countless minutes. "She's out like a light." he tugged his short over his head folding it neatly onto the table. "Beth is looking after her." He had already locked the cell block door as he placed the keys next to his shirt. "You cold?" I shook my head but he placed his poncho over me anyways. "You okay?" I shook my head as he rolled onto the bed beside me. We were extremely tired; more him so than me, but tired nonetheless. It had to be past midnight. No one really could keep time except maybe Hershel who had a watch. I could not sleep despite my blood shot eyes and fatiguing state. Those lost, unknown hours meant nothing to me. It was either light or dark and in both senses I could not sleep. "Get some sleep." he mumbled entwining his limbs with mine.<p>

"Has Rick come back?" My eyes remained wide open.

"No."

"Do you guys even know if he's alive?" I turned my head to the side to meet his eyes.

"He'll come back." Reassurance. What a waste of an emotion.

I squeezed my eyes shut tight. "I should have brought her back when I was in there. I should have brought her body back to be buried. Why did I leave her there?"

His hand was running up and down the length of my arms soothing my tensing muscles. "Don't you dare feel guilty. You have done no faults. What happened happened because we live in a world where survival is rare. You could not have done anything else for her."

"I know."

"Go to sleep Rose. You've been up for too long. You're driving yourself insane." I felt his moist lips pressed against my neck and then his face being nuzzled into where my shoulder met my clavicle. It's weird to think of Daryl so cozy with me now because when I first met him he ignored all source of human contact. His emotional maturity towards me still had me awestruck. The amount of stuff he has endured for me and yet I push him away in the sight of a mental breakdown. I could not do that. I had to listen to him because he knew what was best for me. I had to sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

He stormed out of the cell block back into the tombs. I couldn't help my feet from carrying me. "Rick!" I shouted after him.

"Go back Rose." He told me stopping but not daring turn around to face me.

I reached out grabbing his shoulder. "Listen to me Rick. I understand you feel lost right now or crazed by the whole situation, but you need to be strong. Be strong for the group."

"I am Rose." He said looking at me sideways then his face fell completely. "Her body was gone. A walker had eaten her completely. I only found…only found the bullet."

"I-I…" I started but the words couldn't leave my mouth. I was not about to say something to try and pity because that's the last thing he probably wants. He doesn't want my sympathy. He wanted space and I could see it in her eyes. Their dazed complexion searching for something to grab ahold of to stay gripped onto sanity. Rick was losing it and he was trying desperately not to go insane by mourning for his wife. But he was already slipping off that boat.

He shook his head. "I heard a phone ringing. And a girl was talking to me, and she said she'd call back in two hours. I think I found us a safe place to go."

I eyed him suspiciously before grabbing his hands in mine. "Do whatever feels right Rick and don't forget I'll always have your back." He tried to smile down at me but it proved impossible. I let go of his hands before giving him a pleasant smile. "She looks like you. She's beautiful." Then I turned and walked off.

* * *

><p>"It's nice to finally get out of the prison." I said to Maggie feeling the fresh air hitting my face as the sliding doors of the supermarket slid open greeting my nose with a wiff of stale concrete and rotting corpses.<p>

She nodded remaining silent as we took the shelf salvaging any baby food and food for us. I never understood why Maggie and Glenn were always the one to run errands for the group. I know Maggie hated it when Lori almost got them killed trying to find her abortion pills. I guess I would have hated risking my life for someone else who doesn't care about taking a life. But it's different now. I have a new found respect for Lori; I don't know what it is and I'd like to keep it that way. Not knowing saves the hurting part. My hand grasped around the formula placing it in the red basket but my eyes stayed put on something else. My fingers trailed along the magenta box not knowing to take it or not. It's stupid for me to take it. I'm not even…it was never even possible. Finding excuses to not grab it didn't stop me from ripping the box open and stuffing the white stick in my back pocket. Was it stupid for me to even grab it knowing there wasn't any way I could carry a baby? Or was it okay to just 'make sure'?

I wasn't allowed much time to think because as soon as I walked out of the store an arm wrapped around my neck and a gun was pressed to my head. "Get in the car or I shoot." My ears had drowned themselves out as I listened to my heavy breathing closing my eyes to remember everything I was living for if this was my last moment. I could hear distant voices yelling but all I could get think of was the cold metal object pressed to my temple as I waited for death. It never came of course and I was harshly shoved into the truck we arrived in. "Drive." This man ordered Glenn pointing at the steering wheel with his nub of a hand containing a knife blade at the end. Maggie's hand had slipped into mine as I could feel her slight tremble against the skin of my fingers. I gave her hand a squeeze. "How's my baby brother?" he asked Glenn.

The Korean boy looked at me with desperation. My reaction was a gasp realizing who this man with one hand was. "Daryl." I spoke my voice quivering. Daryl always told me stories of how Merle had been a trooper cutting off his hand to escape the death awaited to him if he stayed. I didn't actually believe he had lived. I had formed a sick fantasy that Daryl and my brother had died so we could have something in common, so we had a reason to stick together. "You're Merle."

Merle smirked at me. "Never met you before. What's your name beautiful?" I felt myself curling on the inside at his cheeky attitude.

"Rose." I told him looking away. My heart clenched in on itself. I wanted to go back to the prison. I didn't want Glenn to drive anymore. I wanted to go back to Daryl."Daryl..he's-he's…" I could not form the words fearing the creation of the tears.

Maggie gave my hand a squeeze this time. "Their together."

Merle didn't speak to me the rest of the car ride.

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><p>I could hear Glenn give a sort of battle cry from rooms over. Maybe it was a shout of angst. I could never tell. The rooms were close and the walls were thin. I heard everything, maybe not everything, but if it was loud enough I could make out the conversation. My foot never stopped from tapping the ground as I waited for whatever was to come of me. I haven't slept in the three days I've sat in here anxiously waiting for the interrogation. I knew Glenn was first, and then perhaps Maggie, I guess I was last. That didn't make since because from what I've heard Merle was looking for his brother and I'd be more than welcome to tell him everything. Except the location.<p>

"What's up buttercup?" his flirtatious voice filled the quiet room something I was capable of handling. These walls were getting boring and I had already counted all the cracks.

I looked up at him as he walked around the metal table in front of me taking a seat in the chair on the opposite side. "When can I leave?" I asked him.

Merle just chuckled. "You just got here darlin' why you wantin' to leave so soon?" he asked leaning backwards stretching his hands behind his head. I never responded to his stupid question. He sighed leaning back forward. "How did you meet my brother?"

"Oh…" I trailed off confused at his slight curiosity on my relationship. I know Merle missed his brother and maybe living through me at the moment was the closest he got to Daryl. "He-He…um he rescued me. He always rescues me." I had found myself in a daze remembering the first time I met him or saw him really. Keegan had pushed me into the car when a herd of walkers began to pass through and he took off. I remember how I sat in that car for close to a week waiting for him to return. I remember how much hope had built up in me as I saw Daryl's face through the car window. "He told me it was right after they had left a place called the CDC. They had stopped for gas on the freeway when we first met. I was so scared back then."

Merle gulped. "He's still alive then?"

I nodded. "He was the last person I talked to before I left with Maggie and Glenn." A tear welled up in my eyes and ran down my cheek. "He even told me just to stay in and rest. I didn't listen."

"He treats you right? He's good to you?" he asked. My heart swelled as Merle just wanted to make sure his brother was still alive and a good man.

I laughed as more tears spilled over onto my face. "He's perfect." I tried to stop myself from blubbering. I was happy my state of shock had left my body after Lori's death. Emotions were swimming inside me as I found how easy it was to move on. Of course I missed her dearly I had to come to terms that weeping over her and blaming myself wouldn't help me survive. I had to be selfish for this situation.

Merle stood up walking towards me. He placed his hand on my shoulder. "I hope you're good to him too." He tried to smile but it never formed and he left the room.

Another three days had passed and Merle never came back in. Glenn was quiet, but if I listened hard enough sometimes I could hear Maggie crying. The fact no one had been interrogating as much didn't bother me but I was awfully panicky today. Not because today was any different or something happened, but because I had decided to test my theory, not to find out but for genuine curiosity. I didn't dare look at it while one of the soldiers from this place was guiding me back to my room. I knew I had to wait some time before it would even be ready. But I had forgotten my hands were tied behind my back and now all I could focus on was it sticking into my back side. I wanted to see it. I _needed_ to see it. It had become my new obsession. I was infatuated with it and how I could even remotely think I could possibly carry a child when I knew I can't. I knew me and Daryl had had sexual interactions while we were on the road for a while. Nothing ever seemed suspicious, or maybe I knew thought about it, maybe because I knew t was impossible. It was nagging at my brain constantly as I tried to talk myself out of the possibilities.

The door then creaked open a tall man stepping into the dingy room. A slight comfort was written on his face. Now with my emotions returning to my once stone heart fear came back as well. I knew this time to ignore my fears so I didn't cower. His face, his body language, his presence slightly frighten me. But I would never show. "Hello Rose." I took a sharp intake of breath as he spoke my name walking behind me pulling out a knife. My breathing was uneasy as he trailed it slowly towards my hands, but he just cut me free from the duct tape. "Water?" he questioned placing a clear glass of it in front of me.

"Where Maggie and Glenn?" I asked him rubbing my wrist softly not daring to take his water offer.

He smiled. "Safe. You can stay here Rose if you want. You just tell me where your group is and I'll have Merle bring Daryl back here."

My voice caught in my throat at his name. I knew better than to believe his ploy on reeling me in by using Daryl, but I couldn't help my heart aching at his name. "No."

I could feel his body behind as he refused to move after he cut my hands free. He laughed trailing his fingers down the length of my arm. "That's some bruise you got there." My eyes widened as he touched over the mark the baby had given me making me remember how much I really did want to leave. His hands were by my neck as he gathered my long hair in his hands pulling it back. "You have such beautiful hair. We could always cut it for you; it must be unsafe to keep it this long." He softly ran his fingers though my knotted hair trying to brush it through. "You remind me of my wife." He spoke quietly and the shiver ran up my spine. That was never something good to be said to you by someone who was touching you.

I decided to try and make conversation so he knew he couldn't scare me even though I was close to trembling. "Was she pretty?" I asked trying to ignore how good it felt with his tender touches against my scalp.

"Yes," he mumbled.

"Is she alive?" It was a stupid question but maybe it would get him upset and he would leave.

His fingers stopped. "No." he said a cold tone in his voice. "Stand up." I obey because he would just make me get up anyways. He turned me around so I could face him. His hands were coming around from my hair to cup my face in his hands. I felt the test drop further into my back pocket and I longed to reach behind me and grab it. "Stay here," he told me his eyes searching mine for some answer to a question he had asked himself. I didn't understand what he could possibly be going on about. He knew I would never stay here. "I'll take care of you. We got shelter and food and everything you need." I furrowed my eyebrows. Was he psychotic? I understood I reminded him of his dead wife but I wasn't her and I wasn't about to let him replace her with me.

"I want to leave." I pleaded with him not daring to touch him afraid of what he might do at my decline. "I have someone who needs me back where I'm from."

"Tell me where that is and I'll bring them back here." He said a slight business attitude in his voice.

I glared at him trying to step back. The situation was strange. He was strange. I preferred sitting in the quiet alone than him touching me so carefully. "No." I said. He bit his cheek groaning angrily grabbing my face in his one hand and pushing me backwards slamming my body into the table. I cried out in pain and shock as I felt the test slip from my pocket and clatter onto the floor. "No!" I screamed frantically trying to push him out of the way so I could get it first, but he just grabbed my body and threw me to the side. I slid until I came to the stop close the wall. He bent down picking it up carefully reading with such concentration. He didn't speak again. He just set it on the table and walked out the door locking me in once he reached the outside. Tears had already begun coming down my face as I picked myself off the ground staggering to the table. My focus was hard to grasp with fright coursing through my blood stream, but I read it through confused eyes.

A pink plus sign stared back up at me.

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><p>Oh shit.<p>

Tell me what you all are thinking. I want to know what your opinion is on the whole thing.

lot's of love xoxo-kate


	16. Chapter 16

Tell me what you guys are thinking! What's going on in those beautiful heads of yours!

lot's of love xoxo-kate

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><p>"Sit down," He said guiding me to a green leather couch. His arm was wrapped around my shoulder and so was a blanket patched with different colors of quilt. He helped me ease my tender body into the chair.<p>

"Thank you." I told him not because I was trying to be polite but he scared me into responding with respect. I had fainted in the room I was once imprisoned. Philip, who he now told me was his name, blamed it on my refusal to eat and the fact I had always given my portions to Lori when really I should have been eating them. I was eating for two. I was looking out for two. I was caring for two. Me…and the baby. I refused to actually believe I was with child, but I wasn't about to punch myself in the gut to prove it. I would wait until I got symptoms until my assumptions were true. He believes I am. That's why he was so quick to take care of me when I passed out. Why he was so keen to keep me close to him. My mind wandered to Daryl. What would he think of the situation? My stomach churned as my misses for him increased. I just wanted to be back in the prison cell with him and his strong arms holding me as we laughed to something Hershel said or Carol did. Instead I'm being held captive by an obsessive, freighting, powerful man.

He sat down on the arm of the chair handing me a glass of water. "How are you feeling?" he smiled brushing away the hair on my forehead with the back of his hand.

I tentatively took the glass bringing the water to my lips and sipping lightly. "Better. It's nice to not be sitting in that chair hours on end." I tried not to sound totally disgusted by the whole turn of events.

"I'm sorry," He frowned tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear. "Things are going to be good from now on. I'll take care of you and the baby."

I gulped looking down. The way he said that made me awfully uncomfortable. A gunshot went off close down below on the street and he jumped up rushing to the window. "What is it?" I asked trying to stand up.

He took long strides back towards me pushing my shoulders down so I was restrained in the chair. "It's nothing. Just stay here, don't leave this room. I'll be right back." He commanded then leaned forwards pressing his lips to my forehead.

I waited until he left to shiver.

I don't know what made me stay seated in the chair. Philip perhaps had scared me into obeying…or maybe I was scared to get shot at in the streets below…or I knew even if Daryl was the one causing the chaos down there how would I ever find him. An hour had passed as I sat here thinking of a plan but nothing seemed logical. Staying here didn't seem that bad. I was itching just to get back to the prison but all my attempts to leave fell through. Then the door opened. A dark woman had walked into the room, looked around, and grabbed a chair taking a seat in front of the door. "Who are you?" I asked standing up taking steps towards her gingerly. "Why are you here?" I asked edging closer to her. "What do you want?" then I saw the sword in her hand. "Are you here to kill Philip?" That made her look at me and she nodded curtly. "Did you shoot that gun?" She just shrugged it was really angering me how she would never use words. "Did you see a Korean man and a girl?"

She jumped to her feet grabbing my arm. "You're Daryl's girl. That one he was shouting about on the way here." She sighed. "I didn't recognize you from when I saw Merle drive away with you guys. I don't think I saw your face."

"Daryl was shouting about me?" I my voice was failing on me at the mention of him.

"Going on and on about how much he's going to make whoever took you suffer," she smiled at me; something that seemed like it was hard to do. "Don't worry I'll get you out of here."

"Thank you," I told her and this wasn't forced as the one I told Philip. This was real. "He's obsessed with me," I told her in a hushed whisper trying to stop from trembling. "He scares me." She didn't say anything but instead we sat there in silence waiting for Philip to return so she could seek revenge. I tuned on my heels feeling the rumbling sensation building in my stomach. The quick movement made the room begin to spin, my vision was blotchy, and my feet where struggling to hold my body. "I need to eat. I haven't…I haven't had anything." I slurred trying to keep a thought. I made my way for the kitchen everything seeming to be in slow motion. The dark woman footsteps faded as she began to explore his things looking for a sign of when he would return. The kitchen seemed awfully bright as I wandered into looking over at the food available on the counter tops. It was mostly fruit and bread products. My fingers grasped onto an apple as I could already feel the feint coming on as to ground was crumbling beneath my feet.

Someone took the apple from my hands and set it on the table. "Not now sweetheart." He said wrapping his arms around me guiding me to the floor. "Just sleep." He told me quietly setting me on the ground.

"I have to-have to…two." Was all I could muster out before my vision spotted out and became all black.

* * *

><p>It was like being held down; being held down by such a superior force that never slipped up and loosened its grip. Even when you thought it was okay to try and wiggle your way from its grasp it's just pushed down harder on you. That's how I felt. That's how <em>he <em>made me feel. I was close to being free, close to being back with my Daryl, but I had awoken to a dim lighten room with his face smiling down at me. "Hello beautiful," he greeted as though it was the most casual thing in the world. I tried to sit up and get away from him, but his hand was on my leg pushing me down. "I brought you some food to eat." He said handing over a bowl or what seemed to be soup. I did not want to feint again so I took it without question. It was barley warm and the carrots in it were soggy but I ate it wishing I could force all the nutrition in it to the child in my stomach…even if there wasn't one there.

"What happened to your eye?" I asked him reaching up and touching the side where a white bandaged covered his eye.

He glared as he focused downward. "I was attacked by the terrorist who tried to overtake Woodbury."

"Oh…" I trailed off recoiling my hand and continued to eat. "What happened to that woman that was in here?" I tried to keep as less as hope as possible.

"She was the one who attacked me." He grumbled. I looked down to try and contain the smirk forming on my face then the thought struck me. I was stranded here. She was my only way out of the weird imprisonment of mine and now she was gone possibly dead by the hands of my captor. Were Glenn and Maggie alright? Did Daryl make it out alive? Would he ever come back to get me? Would I have to spend the rest of my days here? I knew it was safer here than the prison. I knew how much I wouldn't have to worry here. I knew how smart it would be to have the baby here if there was one growing inside me, but I needed my family and they were all back in that prison. Philip took the empty bowl from me and placed it to the side. He brought his hand back setting it on my midriff pushing my shirt up. He looked at me an almost playful smile on his face as he beamed at my stomach. "Hey there little guy." He cooed rubbing circles on the skin.

I felt the soup preparing itself to come back up as I watched this disgusting scene in front of me. "I am not pregnant" saying the word aloud made me shiver. "Test can be wrong sometimes and if I'm right I'd only be two weeks along. That's not very far along." I sighed.

His face remained in a smug smile. "For the sake of the both of yours health let's just take the precautions." He pulled down my shirt with some plea of the child wanting to be warm even though I was smart enough to know this 'child' was barley the size of a pea. Then he grabbed my hands. "I have something to show you." He pulled me up from the bed wrapping and arm around my waist to keep me steady. "Everyone from the town will be there." He kept blabbering on and on about how great the town was, but I blocked his words out by the time we reached the door of his little flat. His infatuation with me was grinding my gears. Not just because I really just wanted to leave, but because it happened over the course of a few days at most. He had formed some sick idea I was somehow his wife and that I never passed away. I knew he knew that wasn't true but he liked to pretend it was. The scariest was his dreams he had with my unborn child. Philip had this idea we could be a family. It terrified me. He brought me behind the building where one of his men was waiting with a watchful eye for me. "Don't take your eyes off her." He demanded then walked away leaving me confused as he headed towards the shouting crowd just beyond the wall of this building.

It was quiet. And I was fine leaning against the wall of the building. Until I heard the Governor shout. "Merle's own brother!" Everything happened so quick. My heart began to pump as I went to run out to where they were, but one of his men grabbed me from behind holding me in place as I tried to wiggle out of his grasp.

"Daryl!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "Daryl!" the crowd was too loud. My voice was too feeble.

Another one of his men came running around the corner panting. "Bring her out there." He pointed to where he had just came from. I was pushed forward stumbling on my own feet as his hand stayed twisted in my shirt. Then I turned the corner and the scene came into view. The town sat in bleachers as Philip stood in the middle between Daryl and Merle.

"Brother against brother, fight to the death." He spoke in that cold voice of his a smug look on his face. The same look he had as he ran his hand along my stomach, I cringed. Philip looked back at me and smirked. "A little incentive," he took long strides towards me grabbing me by the neckline of my shirt yanking me towards the middle of this man made arena. "Winner claims his prize and life." He bellowed throwing me to the ground near the Dixon's brother's feet.

I coughed dust clouds following me as I rolled to a stop. "Rose?" his voice question as he bent down to dust me off. I looked up at him, his beautiful eyes shining with sadness. I gave a mixture of a cry and shout as I jumped up to meet his awaiting arms. "I love you Rose," he whispered into my ear before I pulled away pressing my lips hard against his.

"Enough!" Philip shouted and grabbed me by my hair pulling me away. An elbow met my face as he hit me to knock me to the ground. I heard people shouting but my ears were ringing and I was trying to stop blood from pooling out of my nose. I tried to get them to stop egging him on but my voice was too small and all I could do was watch and know if Daryl went down I would go down with him. "Enough." He said through gridded teeth wrapping his hand around the back of my shirt pulling me to my feet. I was clinging to air trying to force it into my lungs and the blood spilling between my teeth out. Once more a cold gun was pressed to my temple. "Fight." He commanded them.

Merle was the one to throw the first punch.

"Lemmego!"I shouted wiggling in Philips grasp. Merle and Daryl were laying punches on each other forcibly and I couldn't deny my fright in one of them killing the other.

Philip pulled me back his jaw meeting my shoulder, his lips pressed to my ear. "You shut your mouth or no one lives."

"I'd rather die than be around you any longer." I spat blood at his feet trying to get as far away from him as possible. A look of hurt flashed over his eyes before he handed me off to another solider. Walkers were brought out and placed in this death pit. The soldier watching me was forced to restrain my body before I ran out to grab Daryl away from Merle's fist. I couldn't stop sobbing and screaming for them to stop. "Philip stop! Please stop!" I cried out trying to lift myself from this man's hold on me. Blood and tears streaked my face as I panicked.

Then a gunshot went off.

Smoke bombs filled the arena with thick white fog. I could just make out Philip's face rushing to find the source, but someone had already grabbed my hand pulling me away from the chaos. I didn't need to look. I knew it was him. The way his hand was perfectly fitted to hold mine, the way he didn't need to ask, or stop to check if I was alright. We were talking in our heads. Merle lead the way out of Woodberry all of us deciding in silence he knew the way out best. "Are you okay?" he asked me slightly panting as we took off into the woods.

"Yea…I think so." I told him not really sure myself.

"Did he hurt you at all?" Daryl looked at me sideways as if asking two questions in one.

I fought back the tears pricking in my eyes as I saw that smug smile on his face when he touched my stomach. My stomach where my baby was, _our_ baby. How would I even begin to explain something I barely knew about myself? I didn't really know for sure if I was with child, but of course it was always best to be truthful from the start. "No," I shook my head. "Except for that elbow to the face back there." I wiped the blood drying beneath my nose. I spotted the road way up ahead already picturing the brewing conflict about to come. I turned off my hearing as we approached Glenn and the dark woman from before both pulled their weapon pointed at Merle. Of course they had the right to be totally pissed about the whole situation I didn't pay too much mind. I could feel my doom coming as the forest began to spin. My knees began to quiver and I could feel my throat vibrating as I spit out nonsense. The feint was coming quickly and unexpected as fresh, new blood oozed out of my nose. "I need…two…" I trailed off leaning myself against the tree watching them go back and forth, but then Merle went down. Watching him fall made my world flip and I came tumbling down right after him.


	17. Chapter 17

Guys please comment some review or something just so I know I am not writing to a brick wall. I really do care what you all are thinking of this story and it would be so much appreciated if you tell me your thoughts.

lot's of love xoxo-kate

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><p>Hershel's face was swimming in my vision as he peered down at me. I couldn't help but get extremely irritated this is how I was always waking up to people. I groaned squeezing my eyes tight and rubbing them. "You were dehydrating." He told me putting a glass to my lips and forcing me to take a drink. "Running takes a lot out of you." He wrapped my hands around the glass so I could hold it up myself. "You need to be taking care of yourself now that you're not just looking after yourself." I stared up at him. How could he possibly know? "You don't think I know the symptoms?" Hershel chuckled. "The size of your feet gave it away." He reached down gently massaging my swelling feet.<p>

"I took a test…" I trailed off. "It said positive. That's not possible though."

"Anything's possible." He smiled. "I am unsure how far along you are, but I'll make sure to get you the right vitamins."

I grabbed his hands before he could leave. "No Hershel you don't understand. I can't be pregnant. It's impossible for me to have kids." I sighed not wanting to divulge into my past after just waking up to this.

He just stood up patting my hair giving me such a fatherly smile. "Anything possible," he repeated before exiting the cell. I watched his back turn around the cell corner and disappear before I collapsed back onto the bed in a choked cry.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god…" I sobbed rubbing soothing circles around my stomach. How could I even think to try and attempt to bring a child into this world? I loathed Lori for it when the topic stirred but now I was in her shoes now feeling incredibly guilty. This child will know nothing of the good things in life. It will only know how to run, and shoot, and be quiet. It was lethal; born in battle. And it was my entire fault. I was wrong to put this burden on a child who has no say. I took a deep breath trying to stop myself from being so loud. Was I really even pregnant? Even the word gutted my chest, but was it true? I knew…or at least I thought I knew I could never have children. So I had swollen feet? That didn't mean anything. Maybe Hershel read the signs wrong.

He softly knocked on the cell wall. "Sorry to bother you but we need to talk." I nodded him in and he took a seat on the bed next to me. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine. I think," I told him unsure of what I was feeling. Denial? Of course. Was I really fine? No, I don't think I'll ever be fine. "If you're here to talk about The Governor he didn't hurt me." I sighed trying to find the faith in his face to tell him. "He's thinks I'm his wife or that I look like her. He's obsessed with me…and mostly the baby. He thinks in the future we can all be one big happy family." That's when my composer flickered and the water gates in my eyes broke even more. "I'm so scared." I dug the palms of my hands into my eyes to stop myself from going into a fit of hysteria. "The look on his face when he would touch my stomach, or talk about it is terrifying. I can't do this."

Rick gave me one of those sheriff smiles of reassurance grabbing both my hands in his. "It's going to be okay. We won't let him hurt you. We'll make sure he doesn't lay a finger on you or that baby."

I shook my head tears still pooling from my eyes. "Rick, Hershel doesn't understand I can't be pregnant. It's impossible for me to have children." I huffed a couple breathes before I opened a door I had long since sealed tight. "My father had a friend who would come over every now and then for a drink, a smoke, a game of cards, and…me." Rick's smile began to falter and I could already guess what he was thinking. "He didn't rape me until I was midway through my fifteenth year. It had been going on for three years previous but he wanted to go further this time, see how much he could push me. He stole my virginity, he stole my sanity. I got pregnant with his child after that but he wouldn't have any of it, so he hit me. Hit me four, five, six, seven…I lost count after I saw the blood dripping from me." I wiped my face with my hands smearing the tears off the skin. "My insides were a wreck and I was doomed with the dread of infertility."

"Look at me," he grabbed my face, "We can go off of swollen feet and pregnancy test all we want but until we really know we'll still take care of that unborn child. I don't ever want you to feel doomed ya hear?"

"Where's Daryl?" I frowned but Rick just looked away. "Rick, where is he?" I sat up my voice rising at the mere complexion of Rick's guilty face.

"He told me…" Rick began saying but couldn't finish trying to form the words in his mouth. "He told me to tell you he loves you and not to be sad about him leaving. Blood comes first. He says he's sorry it had to be this way."

"Why couldn't he just have waited! Why did he leave now!?" I had flung myself out of the bed starting to leave the cell but Rick's arms caught me around the middle pulling me into an embrace. "Merle was the one that took me away...why did Daryl leave with him?" My fingers twisted into Rick's shirt as the pain in my chest became unbearable. "I thought he loved me. You aren't suppose to leave the ones you lost."

"It's okay to not be strong Rose," Rick whispered and I felt my throat get dry and my stomach drop and if I listened hard enough I could hear my own heart shattering.

I let my whole world fall apart in Rick's chest.

He patted my head. "Now listen. It's all going to be fine." He pulled away from me. "Clean up a bit and I need you downstairs. You can eat and walk around stretch out, but I need your help." I nodded in response letting him walk away from me. I had to hold on to things to make it to the sink but I made it there washing off my tear stricken face. I felt an emptiness where a beating should have been the pain left remaining there was almost choking me. My mind and emotions refused to believe he had actually left me. I knew Merle was his brother but his brother cause my containment at Woodbury. Merle was the reason Philip was now after me as well as the prison. My eyes were going dull as feeling exited my body. I could not weep much longer. Daryl had abandoned me just as Keegan did and it made me stronger. This lost love would only make me crueler and that terrified me. There was not much else I could clean up with so I just headed back down the stairs to meet Rick outside our cell block.

"I'm Tyresse." The black man spoke holding out his hand to Rick who didn't dare touch it.

"Sasha." Hershel pointed out with his crutch. "Allen. Ben."

Rick looked around as if he was paranoid. "How'd you get in?"

"Fire damage to the administration part of the prison; walls down." Tyresse spoke smoothly and calmly fully collected with intent on persuading.

Rick gave a light laugh. "That side is completely overrun with walkers. How'd you get this far?"

"We didn't." Tyresse said. "We lost our friend Donna."

"They were lost in the tombs," Carl spoke out.

Rick flipped around at him. "And you brought them here?" Anger was laced in his tone and I went forward to stop him from causing a scene but Glenn stuck his arm out letting me know it wasn't a good time.

"He had no choice." Hershel cut in.

He nodded turning back around to Tyresse. "I'm sorry about your friend. We know what that's like."

"Hershel said you could use some extra hands." Tyresse stated his claim. "We're no strangers to hard work. We'll go out and get our own food, stay out of your hair. You got a problem with another group; we'll help with that, too. Anything to contribute."

Rick stared at him before looking down. "No."

"Please," The other girl, Sasha, pleaded. "It's like 'Ten Little Indians' out there. It's just us now."

Once more Rick glued his eyes to the speaker and shook his head. "No."

"Let's talk about this." Hershel suggested.

I pushed away Glenn's hand stepping toward him. "Rick, we can't risk it." I said feeling the disgust leave my mouth as the words did. "We don't know them, we don't trust them. Look what happened with the other people we tried to be civil with."

"Do you even know what it's like out there? It's worse than before!" Allen shouted at me. I didn't cower back this time. "Don't send us to our death."

"You can survive out there," I grinded my teeth. "We did."

"Please miss be kind." Tyresse pleaded.

Hershel looked at me. "Rose, that's enough."

I felt my face flush red with anger. "I am not having stranger living in here! We don't know anything about them and we are just going to let them live in the same cells as us?"

"You've been through a lot recently and are very emotional." Hershel said nodding to Glenn who grabbed me by my shoulders softly tugging me back. "Calm down."

I took a deep breath. "I'm right aren't I though?" I asked Glenn quietly.

"Maybe. I don't even know what's right or not?" he replied sighing the same air I was. "I just try to think of myself in their shoes."

"I can't be responsible." Rick told the other group.

"You turn us out, you are responsible." Tyresse spit right back out at him.

"Rick." Hershel spoke sternly calling him over. "You've done so much for us. I appreciate that, we all do. We owe you our lives. We've done everything you've asked without question. And I'm telling you, you're wrong on this. You've got to start giving people a chance.

Rick's eyes trailed over the room taking everybody in. I could see the look in his eye of trying to find the answer to an unknown question. He sighed pinching his eyes together, and then he patted Hershel's shoulder. "Yeah…" he gave a shadow of a smile before his eyes looked upward and a sudden darkness overtook him. He looked scared for a moment trying his best to look away from whatever was standing up there. "No, no, no, no, no…" he shook his head once more pinching his eyes as if to rid him of his sight. "Why are you here?" he asked no one stepping forward to where he was just looking. "What do you want from me?" he asked again. Everyone look around at each other confused as to what had overcome him. "Why are you—no." He stared up at the walkway above as if someone was up there. "I can't help you! Get out!" He shouted. People were stirring trying to help him, trying to calm him, but he was far past calming. Rick pulled out his pistol. "You don't belong here! Get out! Please!" he was screaming pointing his gun around.

"Ain't nobody got to get shot here," Tyesse held up his hands in surrender backing towards the door. "We'll leave."

Glenn ran out from behind me ushering the other group out. "Just go!" he told them with an apologetic tone.

"Rick," I said as everyone began to quiet down looking at him with pure confusion and fright. "Rick." I spoke again before he looked at me. I stepped forward until I was arm's length away to grab his pistol which he gladly let slip into my hands. "You told me its okay to not be strong." I placed the gun in the back of my jeans. "Well take your own advice." I whispered wrapping my hands around his back letting him crumble into my arms. "It's okay, it's okay." I whispered petting his head letting him take us to the ground. Visions of Keegan doing this to me flashed through my memory and so did the image of me comforting Randal back on the farm which made my chest burn even more. "Everything is going to be just fine."


	18. Chapter 18

I walked out onto the walkway slowly. "It's early Rick…what are you doing out here?"

He didn't look at me until the man-made wooden wall was set up. "I should ask you the same thing." He wiped his forehead with the back of his hand. "Aren't you supposed to be resting? How far along you now?"

"About three weeks and five days." I smiled squinting at him the dawn sun coming into my vision. "I could not sleep. It's hard going to bed without Daryl..."

"I'm just setting up safety precautions." Rick told me grabbing another block of wood and setting it up. "In case we need to fend off a raging psychopath." I laughed lightly making him give one of those Rick half smiles. He was trying to get my mind off of Daryl's leaving. It had almost been a week, not yet, and nothing seemed to be going well in my mental sake. How could he abandoned me? After promising so much love and care he had left me for his juvenile brother. It was hard falling asleep knowing Daryl was out in that world all alone, it was hard falling asleep knowing he would never return to me, to hold me, to love me. No one would ever love me like he did.

I nodded leaning against the fence. "We can take him." He went to say something but let his mouth hang as something caught his eye in the yard. I stood up straight following his eyes. "What is it Rick?" I asked but he just turned his back to me and walked off the walkway heading down into the grassy area, all the way down to the graves. My eyes were glued to him as he stood over there looking around curiously and a bit frightened. I didn't dare move when he started running at the exit gate flinging it open; Michonne was over there, she could help him with whatever was the matter. I couldn't help furrowing my eyebrows as I headed back into the prison, was Rick seeing things?

"Means there's another breach," I heard Glenn say in the quiet as I moved in more to the cell block.

"We should go take a look don't you think?" I asked him and Carl who sat on the floor mapping out the area. Beth rushed forward a small smirk in her face saying 'your turn.' I smiled at the child. "Hey there little ass kicker," I cooed taking her into my arms a slight tinge in my chest as Daryl's nickname for the child flowed out of my mouth. I guess if I was blunt in a situation it was with saying Judith was practice for me on how to take care of a child in this world. I loved Judith like my own, I think everyone did, but she wasn't my own. My own didn't even have hands yet. I tucked her away onto my shoulder bobbing her up and down hearing that baby laugh I desperately needed then I looked at everyone. Hershel shook his head at me knowing I was putting myself in danger. He and Rick and I were the only ones who really knew about what would happen in nine months and I'd like to keep it that way. I knew they'd both object to me doing actual, helpful things but I wasn't going to sit on my ass through the whole thing wasting space.

"We should hit the Governor now." Determination gleamed in Glenn's eyes, "Before he has the chance to get us. He won't be expecting it. We'll sneak back in and put a bullet in his head."

Carol furrowed her eyebrows. "We're not assassins."

"You know where his apartment is." Glenn said walking towards Michonne. "You and I could end this tonight. I'll do it myself." Michonee glared before slowly nodding. "Okay," he stepped back.

Hershel looked down. "He didn't know you were coming last time, and look what happened. You were almost killed, Daryl was captured, and you and Maggie were almost executed."

"You can't stop me." Glenn hissed heading to Hershel now.

"Rick would never allow this." the old man tried to reason with the boy.

"You really think he is in any position to make that choice." Glenn spat.

That's when I drew my line. "Enough," I said trying not to wince as my tone sounded close to Philips before he elbowed my face. "Glenn, Hershel is right. The Governor knows we are here, he knows that we can attack him. Even though he wouldn't expect it he will be prepared." I shifted Judith around in my arms. "Of course we'll hit him hard, but he'll come back twice as hard." As much as I really did want The Governor dead we needed everyone here for precautions.

"We can't just wait to be slaughtered!" He exclaimed.

Hershel shuffled. "We've lost too many people here and if he is telling the truth, we can't stay here."

"We can't run." Glenn said coldly his eyes catching Maggie as she fled the room. He swallowed back his pride. "Fine…we'll stay put. We'll defend this place. We're making a stand."

I took a sharp intake of breath at his words. I was all for killing the sick man, but fighting the whole town if they came on a rampage here? We wouldn't make it. As much as I'd like to think we were better we had less man power than we did fewer weapons. We had a baby and a one legged old man. We were outnumbered and over weakened. We could make a stand but we would never stand a chance. "Are you sure about this?" I heard a quiet voice from beside me.

Beth was staring at me fright in her eyes. "Do you want the truth?" I asked earning a nod from her. "No, I'm not sure but what else choice do I have."

"They'll listen to you. Rick will listen to you." She pleaded.

"Oh Bethy," I pouted grabbing her shoulder. "It's going to be fine. You won't be killed I swear. I'll look out for you." I gave her a small smile before it began to falter. My position felt reverse. I was usually the one scared and cowering with Daryl reassuring me. This time I was the brave one protecting the innocence. My stomach tightened as I realized I didn't need Daryl to protect me anymore; that didn't mean I didn't need him to love me. I wanted him to come back and explain why he was so quick to leave me. Why he chose fleeing instead of a compromise.

"Rose," Carl came running from outside. "Can you come help open the gates for Glenn?" I nodded slowly giving him a small smile.

"I can take her," Beth told me holding out her hands.

I shook my head. "She could use some fresh air." I made my way outside baby Judith wrapped tight in my arms. Her eyes rarely saw the sun the poor thing. I unlatched the lock on the gate and slid it open watching Glenn speed through it angrily. I do hope he wouldn't act out of rage and do something stupid… My gaze followed Glenn leaving around the building as I pulled the gate shut difficultly with only one hand. Something caught my eye; Rick. He was still wandering around down in the plant life like he was searching for something. "Hershel." I called out keeping my eyes on Rick.

"I got it," he said hobbling over to the gate. "Don't worry you go rest some I can close the gate once I'm out." I watched him make his slow path down the incline over to where Rick was losing his mind. I couldn't help but watch his eyes dart in every direction looking, searching, trying to understand. I did hope I would not become like him; seeing my lost loved ones around. As much as I wanted to believe I was okay without Daryl my system seemed to shut down on me proving other wise. I wanted to not need him as much as I did, but the pain inside me made losing him so much more real. I forced my eyes to turn away watching Axel and Carol walk out into the courtyard. They were talking and laughing and so were Beth and Carl everything seemed alright. I knew better than to trust the smiles; last time it was this good we lost Lori and T-Dog.

"Beth," I called out softly wanting her to take Judith inside. But she ducked, we all ducked as the shot penetrated Axel's forehead. "Beth!" I cried out crouching my way over to her covering most of Judith with my own body. "Take the baby inside! Take Judith!" I shouted to her giving her the baby. She was trembling as she took Judith into her arms and running off. I covered her making sure she got into the cell bloke safe before I found a place to hide. Gun fire rained out on us as we scattered wondering who the hell was doing this. I knew, I always knew, knowing made me fill with anger and bite my lip in frustration. A bullet blasted through the concrete next to me causing me the flinch. I pulled out my gun from the back of my jeans checking if it was in ready condition. I sprinted behind the cover of one of the tower walls trying to find where everyone was firing from. Someone was in front, another was up in the other tower, and other guys were behind the trees. It didn't seem like too much. I looked beyond my coverage but I recoiled a bullet ricocheting off the wall. "Shit." I muttered to myself thinking of how this was even possible; they had us cornered. Then it went quiet all shooting coming to an end.

"Rose!" Maggie shouted running out with Beth holding machine guns. I ran over to her grabbing the violent weapon and running back to my spot gunfire stirring up again. I aimed up for the guard tower trying to help Carol escape from under Axel, but it seemed damned impossible. "Carol move!" she shouted taking up the same aim. Carol pushed Axel off her and sprinted towards Maggie. They were all shooting at him until finally he dropped and we all dipped back into silence.

"Shit, shit, shit, shit!" I gritted my teeth hearing the loud rambling of a truck. It was white and orange tumbling through the dirt road to the prison. I could just see that evil smirk on Philips face before it tore through the gates and out into the yard. It was inert until suddenly the back dropped and what seemed to be more than a dozen walkers piled out. New gunfire blew up the once assumed dead man on the tower rose up and began shooting again. We were done and out of our luck. Maggie finally put the asshole down leaving me more room to take aim at The Governor. "Go to hell," I hissed empting my rounds at him and his stupid truck shattering the front window. He didn't care as he got into his car and drove off leaving us a field full of walkers. Carl yanked open the gate letting us all out there to help get the yard clean again. I was running down lower into the field trying to find Rick. "Rick!" I shouted but the guns going off and Glenn driving around I couldn't hear anything let alone any one hear me. I heard Rick yelling though in the distance and on the other side of the fence he was fighting for his life against two very hungry walkers. "Rick!" I shouted again telling him to just hold on I was going to help but it was getting harder and harder for him to restrain them. I slammed into the fence holding up my smaller gun to get a better shot and just when the walker was about to take a chunk out of Rick's face and arrow slid through his head.

Daryl.

I dropped my gun.

I just…stared.

My voice caught in my throat at the sight of him. I was looking at him and he was looking at me and even though chaos was going on I couldn't help but stare. "Rose!" he shouted but his voice wasn't heard. I was too busy losing myself in his eyes, the way he had sweat glistening on his face, or his hair that stuck to his neck. A gunshot went off near my head and I whizzed around watching the walker fall at my feet. I followed the path up to the prison where Beth stood aiming at me. She had looked after me, just as I swore to look out for her. "You idiot!" Daryl shouted his smirking face clutching the other side of the fence. "My beautiful idiot."

I didn't realize I was crying until I sniffed as I lowered myself down to pick up my gun. I did not understand why I was crying, nor this whole situation. "You came back?"

"Yeah I did now get the hell out that yard." He instructed. I took off back up the hill of the field taking out walkers as I went. I could not help but feel angry.


	19. Chapter 19

He sat on the bed looking at the floor waiting like a dog that had done something bad. I just stared at him feeling nothing but anger despite my want to be happy he returned. I felt hurt, betrayed by his actions. "I got on well without you, you know." I pressed my back into the desk crossing my arms. I haven't smiled in awhile and I did not plan on it now. "I actually took charge."

"You were turning cold on me Rose. You were changing." He looked up at me through sad eyes. "After that day, when she passed away you were so dark and gloomy. I didn't understand why you would shut me out of all people." He shook his head. "And you never were close with Lori, I never got why it made you feel so bad."

"Guilt," My smile fell. How guilt refined the methods of self torture, threading the beads of detail into an eternal loop, a rosary to be fingered for a lifetime. "I thought it was my fault. I thought I could have helped. I could have grabbed her before Maggie ran off so Hershel could have delivered the baby, or got there so I could help clear the walkers. Her dying made me realize how much I am not immune to the dangers of his world. I am not immortal. I will die." I sighed letting my arms fall to my side. "You are going to die and I don't know how I'm going to handle that. Rick is seeing her everywhere and it's driving him mad…I don't want that." I squeezed my eyes shut before looking back at him. "I get why you never wanted to care about me because it will just get you killed."

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What are you saying you don't care about me anymore?"

I walked towards him sitting down on the bed next to him. "Of course not; I love you Daryl. You know how bad it hurt when you left? It was hard falling asleep and waking up without you near me. I tried to cope for everyone's sake. My heart shattered and I did not dare try to mend it." I gathered his hands into mine. "My life is so incomplete without you."

He leaned forward pressing his lips to mine. My hand left his making its way to rest on his cheek. Anger was flooding out of my body his proximity something I missed awfully. "I'm sorry I left especially without notice. I just thought it was best. I would hope you would understand that I had to go with him. Merle's blood."

"Why did you come back?" The question slipped off the tongue. I was trying to forgive his choice of abandoning me here, but trying was different from accepting. The fight I had prepared was not ready for me and I chose otherwise to start a war. I needed him with me now and putting aside my hatred for his leaving was a way of keeping him close to me.

Daryl looked away. "I realized I was more at home here than out there with him. That people needed me back here." His hands fell out of mine and his face collapsed into them. "Merle told me while were out there…" he trailed off. _Oh god how could Merle know? _"He told me you're with child." His head tilted sideways to look at me. He was starting to get tears in his eyes. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"You left before I had the chance…" My voice cracked.

"How far are you?" he asked his voice cold and dead.

I looked down in my lap. I was going off the one time of Daryl and I's actions in this cell block not able to remember far back into my past to count days. "If my time is correct I should be three weeks and six days." I reached over cupping his chin with my fingers. "I could end it if you want. It will be easy."

He flinched away from my touch. "No…I want it to survive. I'm just scared the same thing will happen to you as…as Lori. I don't want you to die or this baby if something goes wrong."

"Come on." I smiled tugging at his arm curling up on the bed. "Let's get some rest." I instructed. He tore off his shoes and pulled his legs up onto the prison mattress entangling our limbs together.

His fingers trailed along the length of my stomach resting just above my bellybutton. His hands were warm and soothing unlike The Governor's. "It's a boy." He told me chuckling.

I snorted. "You wish Dixon."

Daryl kissed the top of my head leaving his temple to lie atop of mine. We sat there in silence our eyes both closed in exhaustion. "Our baby is going to be a badass." He whispered telling me stories of what this baby 'badass' is going to do letting me drift into a slumber.

I awoke to an empty bed.

My breath hitched in my throat at my realization. It had all been a dream. Daryl had never come back. I rolled over onto my side curling my body into a ball trying to ignore the hollowing feeling in my stomach. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to push down all the emotions coursing through my body, but when I opened my eyes they locked on his crossbow. I threw my legs over the bed rushing to get out of the cell block. "Wh-!"

"Showers," Hershel said before I finished my question.

I smiled to myself heading down the stairs a light skip in my step. I had missed him too much to be miserable. The showers were located just beyond the cafeteria. Although water was rare in this world they had somehow managed to hook up some route for cold water to seep through the heads of the shower so we could get clean. It was ice cold but totally worth it. The tombs on this side of the prison were cleared and locked off but that wasn't why I was so thrilled to be walking this way. I knew it was wrong of me to quickly feel forgiving but holding a grudge and throwing a tantrum was not going to keep him close to me. I had no other choice to forgive him or my feelings and needs were to be crushed. I understood why he was so quick to choose Merle over me. I was distant and cold towards him; Merle was alive and willing to reunite with his baby brother. I would have made the same choice and even though I knew I was being completely honest that scared me. I heard the sound of the shower echoing off the stone walls before the room came into view. I had seen him naked before but the sight in front of me put me in a state of shock. Scars ran all across is back like someone had played a game of tic-tac-toe with a knife on his skin. I didn't know what to say. I just stood there…staring confused at how to even begin to ask him. Impulse took over. I pulled my shirt over my head, I slipped out of my shoes then yanked my jeans off, my socks went next, and then my undergarments. My clothes sat right atop of his as I left them all lying there taking my move towards him. I tried to be quiet so he wouldn't scare but I could sense he felt me near him as I became inches away. I slowly slipped my hands around his waist shivering as the cold water dripped over my skin. His body tensed at my touch. My fingers connected themselves resting on his ribcage as I pressed my bare chest into his back.

"Rose…" he whimpered under my grasp. He was so hurt.

I laid my head against his back letting the cold water fall over both of us. "It's alright. I'm here." I stared at the ladder of white cuts on his back feeling such a anger towards whoever had done this to him."Who did this?"

"My father," Daryl spoke to the wall ahead of him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered hesitantly bringing my fingers up to the pained tattoo's left by the hand of his father trailing my fingers over them. He let out a breath he was holding in as I let my touch roam his back hearing no objection from him. "There horrifyingly beautiful."

Daryl hung his head in shame. "I know."

I tugged on his shoulder turning him around to face me. I placed my hand on his cheek locking his discouraged eyes on mine. "It's horrifying because how could someone ever do that to you or put you through…and it's beautiful because it's on you, it makes you, you." I ran my hand down to rest on the nape of his neck. "I love every part of you, even the ones you don't."

"How can you forgive me so easily?" he asked. "I left you. I left you alone without a goodbye or explanation."

"If you love something let it go," I frowned. "If it comes back it was meant to be. I forgave because you came back." This bottle of unattended anger would build up and when it did I knew I would explore with a wrath of treachery for him. It will wait for he was far too important to me for me to put him through more hurt.

He cupped my face in his hands. "You deserve better than me. I'm nothing but a train wreck." He leaned down his nose touching mine as he anticipated the kiss, as he waited for me to stop him.

"I wouldn't love you if you changed,"

Then well I guess you can figure out what happened next.


	20. Chapter 20

I want to know what you guys think of the whole Rose having a kid..

Should she have it? or no?

* * *

><p>He pulled my up with his hands despite my protest. "Please, let me sleep." I moaned pushing back downward.<p>

Daryl grabbed me from under my armpits. "Come on little missy, gatta eat." He chuckled swinging me in his arms.

I smiled pressing my face into his chest. "You haven't called me that in a while." My feet set themselves lightly on the ground as he put me there to walk my own way.

"You ain't so little anymore." He smirked stealing a kiss before tugging at my hand. He had such a proud smile on his face as he bounced down the stairs with my groggy self. Why was he so pleasant today? I could have sworn I just heard him arguing with Rick and Glenn about Merle staying here. "Take a seat." He instructed guiding me down to the prison table's chair. "You cold?" he asked but didn't wait for a response as he stalked back into the cell block disappearing for a minute or so then strode back out to me. His poncho was wrapped around like me a cocoon.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "What's gotten into you?"

His smile fell confusion washing over him. "What do you mean?"

"You're being so…nice." I turned away from him poking my fork around in the mush of noodles.

"I'm just taking care of you Rose." His hand slid onto my shoulder squeezing it. "I have to go take a look around the prison. Help Rick take some of those walkers out, maybe fix the fence."

My fork clattered to the side of the bowl. "Can I come? I want to get outside."

Daryl looked at me weighing the decision over in his head. I get it, he was looking out for me, but I'm not about to be put on bed rest now when I still have eight months to go. "No," his eyes softened as he leaned down to kiss my head. "Be safe."

I was left alone in the cell block with nothing but white strings of gunk.

"Done?" she asked picking my empty bowl up and carrying it away. "How are you feeling?"

I eyed Carol as she put my dish in a pot of water to wash it. "Fine." I told her out of habit. Carol and I never really clicked. Of course I remember the day Sophia died and comforting her before it was even discovered her bitten daughter was in the barn. Other than that we rarely talk. I had feelings she resented me for being so close with Daryl. I had a feeling she had some sort of emotion for him mother or lover I could never tell but it was something and she hated I had beaten her to him. It was never a competition to me but Daryl was someone I was more than happy to say I won in my life by gaining him. "Thanks." It was forced. I could feel it rolling off my tongue.

"You should eat some more." His southern accent was strong as he approached me. "Put some meat on those bones. Let's not forget what happened when you refused to eat."

I gritted my teeth thinking back to the feint in my interrogation room. Merle was the one that had found me on the floor. "Let's not forget who put me there in the first place."

"Why you gatta hold a grudge on your brother-in-law?" He chuckled setting his one hand and one stump on the table.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be stupid?" Once more Michonne was at my rescue.

He shuffled his feet before sighing. "If we're going to be living under the same roof we should clear the air." She didn't look at him. "That whole hunting you down thing, it was all for business. Carrying out orders."

"Hmh," she smiled sarcastically. "Like the Gastapo."

Merle nodded. "Yeah. Exactly." His tiny glimmer of a smile fell. "I've done a lot of things I ain't proud of. Before and after. Anyway, hope we can get past it." He stood up and began walking away. "Let bygones be bygones."

I looked at her as she stared angrily back at him. "You'll forgive him right?"

"Will you?" she asked back.

I hated him. I hated him for bringing to Woodbury. I hated him for cursing The Governor's reign on us. I tried to not hate him so much when Daryl was around, but Daryl knew I was right to hate him. And anyways Daryl was not in any position to tell me what I was able to do. I was not sure if I wanted to even forgive Daryl for leaving. Suppressing the anger constantly building up inside me was starting to become tremendously difficult. I knew I would blow up soon. "I don't know…" I trailed off.

"Then there's your answer." She reached out placing her hand on my shoulder like Daryl had done. Her hand felt tense and distant. "I'm sorry about leaving you in his apartment. I would have gotten you out of there if I was successful but all I took with me was his eye. I wanted to find you but Andrea chased me out."

"You tried." I frowned. Being left in that apartment that night knocked a lot of hope out of me. "And I got out anyways." She dropped her hand and so did I. I began to walk towards the exit.

"Get back inside Rose." Not even less than a minute of freedom he was giving me orders.

I walked down the little steps out onto the courtyard. "No." I firmly said.

"It's dangerous out here. Go inside now." His protectiveness in this time of war was grinding my gears to the max.

"You are not in any place to tell me what I can do." I glared crossing my arms. "Or have you forgotten those days you were not here, and I was alone. Because I do not think I will ever be able to forget that pain you cause me."

"I-I..." his mouth opened and then closed as the words spun around in his brain. "I'm sor-!"

"Pst!" Carl hissed and Daryl flipped around pushing me behind him. I pressed my head into his back sighing. "Andrea!

We both ran to Carl. "Is she alone?" I asked trying to see her without binoculars.

"She's got a walker with her to distract the other ones I think." Carl responded as Daryl took his look. She guided the walker up the gravel hill now exposed due to Philip's truck of walkers. Others were running out of the cell block taking up positions.

"Are you alone?" Rick shouted scoping out the area.

Andrea neared the gate. "Open the gate!"

"Are you alone?" Rick asked again his voice louder as he looked to the sides.

"Rick!" Andrea exclaimed. Rick threw Daryl the keys to unlock it for her. She pushed her walker guard away towards the field before running inside.

"Hands up! Turn around!" Rick yelled yanking her inside the gate and shoving her into the fence. A walker jumped into the fence. "On the ground." Rick commanded pulling her to the ground onto her knees feeling her up and down for any trace of terrorism."I asked if you were alone."

"I am," she breathed dumbfounded by his distrust in her.

He took her bag and threw it to the side picking up anything she dropped. "Welcome back," he told her grabbing her from under the arm and tugging her away.

I watched the group as they all followed Rick inside. "Why did she come?" I asked Daryl who was already within inches of my body looking for a place he could hold onto to bring me inside. He just shrugged deciding to slid his arm around my waist and guide me inside despite my opposition of ignoring the whole conflict that would soon go down. Andrea had to know the Governor had me and what he was thinking. Andrea had to be angry at me for stealing him away from her even though that is exactly the opposite of what I am thinking. Daryl pulled open the door for me and I entered the cell block without looking at him. His politeness to try and change my opinion of him was over bearing.

"You all live here?" Andrea asked her eyes locking on mine as she asked the question. I could already sense what was passing through her thoughts when she saw me.

"In a cell block." Glenn responded.

"There," she pointed and then walked towards it. "Can I go in?"

"I won't allow that." Rick stepped in front of her.

"I'm not an enemy Rick."

"We had that field until your boyfriend tore down the fence with a truck and shot us up." Rick spat.

"He said you fired first." Andrea was taken aback.

Rick's face was cold. "Well, he's lying."

"He killed an inmate who survived here." Hershel told her.

Daryl glared at her. "We liked him, he was one of us."

"I didn't know anything about that." She shook her head.

I stepped forward. "Just like you didn't know he was holding Maggie, Glenn, and I captive. Just like you didn't know he was pinning Merle and Daryl against each other in a death match. How about the time you didn't know he was holding me up in his dingy apartment for a week?"

Here it comes. "How could I possibly have known all those things?" she couldn't fight the distaste in her voice towards me.

"Maybe Philip and you need to work on honesty." I retorted.

She started towards me but Daryl pushed me behind him. Andrea laughed at the situation. "Maybe you should focus on your own love life before trying to steal mine."

"Andrea, I'm not trying to steal your psychotic boyfriend." I lightly pushed passed Daryl. "He was the one trying to steal me away from civilization. I was having feinting problems so he used my vulnerability against me. He's sick."

"Oh please." She rolled her eyes her arms crossed. "Not everyone is obsessed with you Rose."

I pinched the bridge of my nose. I knew she would never listen to me. "Believe what you have been told to Andrea, but that man needs to be executed."

Rick stepped forward. "We're gonna kill him. I don't when or how but we are."

"We can settle this." she said. "There is room at Woodbury for all of us."

Merle laughed. "You know better than that."

"What makes you think this man wants to negotiate?" Hershel asked. "Did he say that?"

"No." Andrea shook her head.

Rick put his hands on his hips. "Why did you come here?"

"Because he's gearing up for war." She told him. "The people are terrified they see you as killers. They're training to attack."

"I'll tell you what," Daryl spoke up from beside me his hand slipping into mine and holding it firmly. "Next time you see Philip…tell 'em I'm gonna take his other eye."

"We've taken too much shit for too long." Glenn spat. "He wants a war he's got one."

Andrea turned to Rick. "Rick, if you don't sit down and try to work this out I don't know what's going to happen. He has a whole town." She looked around. "Look at you; you've lost so much already. You can't stand alone anymore."

Rick stepped in front of her. "You want to make this right? Get us inside." Andrea shook her head in protest. "Then we got nothing to talk about." He stormed off.

"There are innocent people!" she called after him.

"There are innocent people here too," I said to her bumping her shoulder with mine as I passed her. I stomped away all the way up to mine and Daryl's cell with him following close behind me. She was ridiculous and crazily in love with him. She was blind and stupid and naive. "Ugh!" I exclaimed give the metal desk a hard kick with my foot. The desk gave out a hollow sound the blast sending shock waves of pain up my leg. I didn't stop there.

"Rose," Daryl spoke softly watching me take my anger out, watching me tear the room apart. "Rose; enough." He grabbed me by the shoulders forcing me to look at him. "Don't let your emotions get the best of you. I know you completely infuriated by the Governor, trust me I am too, but we can't act out on rage."

"The fact she thinks I actually wanted to be there just sets me on edge or the fact she had no idea about any of the shit he was doing." I chewed on the inside of my mouth fearing anger tears forming. "I don't want her here anymore. I want her gone."

He pulled me into his arms. "She'll be gone soon. Just lie down and get calm." He pressed his lips to my forehead. "I'll come back up here in a bit. Just promise me you'll stay here."

I squeezed my eyes shut taking in his words forcing myself to not fight against him. "I promise.

Hours passed before Daryl had come back and it was already dark outside. He had his hand laced with mind within seconds guiding me outside the cell where everyone was scattered throughout the cell block candles illuminating the room. It was quiet; all I could hear was Daryl breathing beside me as he walked towards the stairs. I didn't dare speak, not sure on where to place my emotions. He just gave me this look as we walked down the stairs like he knew I was trying to figure out everything. Not just Andrea, but everything. He knew I still was trying to cope with Lori's death and my doubts on whether I was to live or die. He knew my anger and fear for Philip was burning growing higher each day he was still breathing. He knew me more than I knew myself. I was thankful for that. Beth had begun to sing something she did when it was too quiet. It distracted everyone from thinking too much. Rick's feet were heard as he carried Judith down the metal steps and I buried myself more into Daryl to keep him close to me. I wouldn't be able to raise a child without my significant other. Every day was a reminder they were not here but a piece of them still was. I gave Rick so much respect for being able to handle it. Daryl moved beside me looking at Rick who placed himself on the other side of Hershel. "Some reunion huh?" Daryl's hand twitched at my side fingers trailing at my hip bone.

"She's in a jam." Rick tried to explain.

Hershel folded his arms to his chest. "We all are. Andrea's persuasive. This fella's armed to the teeth bent on destruction. "

Daryl tightened his hold on me still being gentle. "So what you want to do?" I tried to listen to Beth to ignore the talk about war.

"We match it." Rick replied. "I'm going on a run."

"I'll head out tomorrow," Daryl said and I tensed looking back up at him

Rick caught my discomfort. "No, you stay here. Keep an eye on your brother." If Rick could smile he would have but the corners of his mouth wouldn't turn up. "I'm glad you're back, really, but if he causes a problem, it's on you." Daryl nodded. "I'll take Michonne."

"Sure that's a good idea?" he asked keeping the sarcasm to a minimum.

Rick looked to Judith then back to Daryl. "I'll find out. And Carl. He's ready. You hold it down here."

"You got it," Daryl agreed relaxing back placing his head atop of mine. "

I reached down bringing his fingers into mine. "Don't leave yet."

"I wasn't gonna." He whispered letting me squeeze my hand around his. "I don't want to ever think about leaving you alone again."

"You say that but you leave me in here all the time." I looked down. "How is that any different?" He did not respond to my accusation of his forceful isolation of me. He was hell bent on keeping me indoors away from any sign of danger. I was not about to let him control me just as The Governor did.


	21. Chapter 21

"Come on Bethy," I smiled bumping my hip with the younger girl. "Let's go do some laundry." She nodded before slowly standing up grabbing a basket swinging it on her hip like I had. "Now the good thing about washing clothes in a zombie apocalypse is you don't have to sort the colors."

Beth laughed along with me as we exited the cell block out onto the courtyard. "And the loads are smaller."

"And who cares about towels." I chimed in setting the makeshift baskets on the ground by a medium sized bucket filled with water. I sat down on the prison lunch table placing the water bucket between my legs. My eyes trailed upward meeting a clear blue sky, not a cloud or speck out of place; it was perfect and completely ironic. I looked back down picking up one of Glenn's blood stained shirts and dipping it in the water. "How are you feeling?"

"I am happy everyone's okay right now," she said to me following the same actions as I did. I knew she had done this before with Carol, but I liked to think Beth and I had a stronger relationship. "I just sometimes wish everything was back to normal."

"Doesn't everybody…" I retorted playfully. I frowned as I looked at her moving my hands without recognition. "Do you miss your mom?"

Beth sighed. "Every day." She squinted up at me. "Do you miss yours?"

I nodded smiling sheepishly looking back at my handy work. "My parents were a little oblivious to everything that was going on. My dad was still best friend with my assaulter; my father let him inside our home, inside my life, just to ruin it. I couldn't have a childhood with him in it. My mother cared about me but she just put on a smile most of the time to please my needs, she loved my father more than her children." I took a sharp intake of breath. "My brother, Keegan, was the only one special to me. He knew exactly what I needed him for and when. He made sure I was always okay, and even when he told our parents what was going on they still allowed the rapist inside our home. When it all went down he came to my rescue; he always does."

"You seem so innocent after everything that happened?" she inquired not daring to shy away from my eyes. She knew I trusted her.

"I clung to innocence so much it swallowed me." I tried to smile. "I became weak and powerless as time went on. I was always scared. I tried to make up for my lost adolescents. This, this dooming time, this is what woke me up; this is what made me realized I need to grow up and fight against the things that try to break me down."

Beth chuckled. "Not Daryl?"

"Daryl he-he…" I trailed off trying to place my thoughts. It was so hard because I repressed most of my memory of that day when I came to my conclusions. "He made me want to fight I guess. I wanted to be by him and he was always fighting."

"I wish I could love someone like you do Rose." Beth leaned against my shoulder in a strange sort of hug. I liked it.

I shook my head. "No you don't; not now at least. Everyone dies. Getting attached and caring about someone that may die is heart wrenching. Every day I am terrified of Daryl dying and that makes me want to protect him instead of myself. It can get you killed."

She dug her hands into the water rinsing off baby vomit off one of Hershel's shirts. "Then why do you stay with him?"

"Because I love him," I laughed sarcastically at how ironic it was. "Because I wouldn't want to be in this mess with anyone else. I'm stupid and reckless for it. Look what happened because of it." I motioned to my belly that protruded slightly. My days were off, I had lost count. For some reason I could not place when everything happened. I could not reason with time to be on my side of this occasion. I was lost.

"You'll be a great mother." Beth was trying to be nice, but I knew I could never be a good mother. I was young just learning to raise myself. How could I bring such a child into this world? I could never be selfish again; I would always have to put the baby first whether that means my death or someone else's. This child would be my destruction.

I didn't' respond to here statement not wanting to bicker about the situation. I didn't like thinking about the coming infant, sometimes it was easy to forget it was even there; the only time I was reminded was when Daryl gave me extra portions, or decided to rub my shoulders or back. No one else really knew besides Daryl, Hershel, Merle, Rick, and Beth, who I had told two nights ago not wanting to cry to Daryl about my fears of the thing. People would start finding out. I couldn't ignore the fact I was going to blow up soon. "I think that's it." I huffed kicking the clothes filled bucket slightly away from me. "Better hang them before they get all wrinkled…not that it matters though."

"Rose?" Daryl called from the cell block door. "I made you some food." He began to exit the cell block making his way to where Beth and I had just begun to set the clothes up for hanging in the southern sun. I had not anticipated his arrival to be so quick as he came up suddenly slipping his hand around my bicep. "You're not supposed to be lifting heavy things."

I rolled my eyes. "Please stop hovering Daryl." I straighten one of Maggie's shirts out throwing it over the railing to dry. I knew Daryl would take a while before letting me to be allowed my own freedom.

Beth placed her arm on my wrist pushing me slightly. "Don't worry about it Rose, I got it. You go eat now and drink some water."

"Okay." I sighed giving my basket a slight kick towards Beth, she was the only one I allowed myself to take instructions from. Daryl tugged at my ring finger ushering me back to the cell block. I let the last ray of vitamin D rain upon my skin before I was pulled back into the dark, gloomy prison. I should have been adapted to the dank place, but who could ever adjust to a place when all you saw were the walls of your cell block. I rarely left the place unless Daryl would accompany me which he never did forcing me to remain inside. He was scared The Governor would show up again and I would be at the wrong place at the wrong time, but that is how this whole world worked. It always had to be the right time and place or you were walker food. Everything was a risk.

Daryl pushed the bowl towards me as we both sat down. "How are you feeling?"

I picked at the food. "Wish I could be outside for more than thirty minutes."

"Hey…" he trailed off reaching over to rest is hand on my arm. "You're safe. Doesn't that matter?"

"Yes Daryl," I turned to look at him, "But honestly I feel like I am becoming trapped in here. I get it, trust me, I understand your argument in the whole situation. But when I die; which I will someday, I do not want it to be in hat filthy cell block." I turned back to my food. "I am not a princess you can just lock away. You're starting to act just like Philip when he locked me away."

He recoiled his hand away from me. "You're just the first thing I really cared about that needs me; I don't want you to leave."

"Yeah well I didn't want you to leave, but you did." I snapped back at him, he looked down pain filling his eyes. "Chose your brother _over_ me and then you come back just to make me sit in that grey room all day. You left me all alone and expect me to trust you and promise you I'll stay put like I am some sort of dog. I am not sure if I ever want to forgive you. I am not sure if I even want to love you anymore after what you put me through those days you were gone." I glared. "I am not that weak girl you can tuck away anymore. This world changes people Daryl."

"For the worst…" he shook his head standing up. Daryl walked a few paces before turning around. "What happened to you? I mean, I get it Rose, you don't want to be babied anymore, but frankly you can't take care of yourself. You're reckless and you don't think before you act. You nearly died because you're too stubborn to eat. You almost got killed by walkers. You constantly want people to believe you are some mighty hero, but running out in a field full of biters is not what people define a hero as." He walked forward a bit. "I don't know if you're moody or something, but you have a baby inside of you. I am sorry if I don't want the only love of my life to die. I did not know it was such a crime. When you're ready just come tell me what I can do to make this relationship better. I'm sick of this fighting." The fact he did not raise his voice set me on edge making me fling my arms out in front of me swiping them across the table sending my food flying. I did not know what was wrong with me? I was over Lori, I had accepted my foreshadowed death, I knew Philip would come after me, but why was I turning into a monster. I should respect Daryl's wishes for me to stay inside not wish to be outside where danger was always near. Then it hit me. I know understood my hatred for Daryl's wants for my safety and my resent for him leaving for his brother.

"What happened Rose?" Beth's voices asked me as she came back in from doing laundry. "Why is there food everywhere? Did you throw-up?"

I shook my head. "I got angry."

"Did you and Daryl have a fight?" I nodded. "About what this time?" Sometimes I hated Beth for always helping me when I had a problem maybe because she was younger than me. Her helping made me feel better though so I tried to look past the age gap and anger to try and let her logic get to me. "Same stuff ya?" I nodded again. "He loves you Rose, it does not take a smart person to see that. But you can't love someone who does not want love."

I sighed turning halfway to see her. "I love him too Beth. I-I-I am just sad."

She walked over to me grabbing both of my hands and bending down, bringing me back into my seat, to kneel in front of me. "Tell him why then. He wants you to tell him. He wants to know you know he cares." She let go of me indicating I should probably go find him. I knew he would be outside walking the lengths of the gate searching for any sign of danger. I knew if there was a breach he would come running for me even after my cruel words were shared. I hated that he stilled cared. I did not hate that he cared about me, I hated that he would still care even if I despised him. I hated he always came crawling back to me. I wanted us to be together, but as two separate, independent, brave people. Not with one always at the others feet begging to be neutered.

"Hey," I caught his attention at the fence and he turned to look at me. His face was void of emotion. "I am sorry about what I said. I did not mean it."

"I know," he nodded. "If you did you would have said it when I came back. You just said it to hurt me. Well, it worked." He huffed a breath of air. "I really wish you'd stop thinking I don't really care about you. I know you think I make you stay inside all day out of habit but that's not true."

I held up my hand to stop him right there. "No Daryl… I know you care, but that's not why I've been so cold recently." I sighed as he tilted his head sideways. "I did not realize it until today because it never really popped into my head."

"What is it Rose?" he asked taking strides towards me.

"I need my brother."


	22. Chapter 22

Short filler chapter sorry guys.

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><p>Our feet were both dragging themselves as we walked the gravel path beside the fences. It felt good to be outside especially with him. Despite the now diffusing tension I still wanted to be around him. Him by my side with the bright sun showering down at me everything felt so good. "You think he is still alive?<p>

I nodded. "I figured out he was alive a long time ago."

"What made you discover that?" he shuffled his crossbow on his back; the thing must be heavy.

I squinted sideways at him. "He knew I depended on him too much, and he wanted me to be able to care for myself. Keegan left me so I could get strong; he needed to cut my life lines on him so I could learn independence." I looked down kicking some of the grey colored rocks. "He is a good fighter, he survived. My new found anger at Merle and you was just built on the fact you had found your brother and Keegan is nowhere to be found."

Daryl reached down and grabbed my hand. "Do you want to go looking for him?"

"No," I shook my head. Of course I wanted to find him, but now was not the time. I was needed here. Maybe when the baby is delivered or once we knew Philip was no longer a threat I could walk outside the fence without a second glance. Now was not the best time to go looking for trouble, and searching for Keegan was trouble. I knew if I found him I would become angry with his sudden flight in my life. My brother would most likely pound Daryl in once he found out about the age gap and the baby. All he cared about was my wellbeing and Daryl was not doing me well even though he meant the world to me Keegan would disapprove. "Not yet."

Silence filled the gap between us as we enjoyed each other's company. His hand in mine, the rocks crunching beneath our feet, and even the sound of walkers growling from beyond the fence gave me comfort. New colors were welcomed as my sickness towards the greyness began to arise. The dried out green of the grass, the bluest of blue sky, and the white hot yellow sun that blistered my skin felt marvelous. "Are you okay now?" he asked making me open my eyes to look at him. Daryl's reference to my mental state did not annoy me this time. I was not depressed, I was not angry, and I most certainly was not on the path of a psychopath. I had no idea why I was such in distress, I mean of course I knew why I was reluctant to listen to Daryl, but I was not in any state to be on watch for my actions.

"I think so," I smiled at him something that felt foreign to me. Our heads both turned towards the entrance as a green car was pulling up. "They're back."

"Took em' long enough." He smirked rustling my hair and pulling me into his side as we turned around to walk back. "We'll find your brother. Once all this Woodbury shit blows over Merle, you, and I are settin' out. Two best hunters in Georgia can sniff him out."

I looked up at him the smile could not form. "We will come back right?"

He did not answer me for a couple of minutes almost until when we were at the gates. He nodded. "Yeah sure we can come back."

"Why do you not want to stay?" I asked him as Carl pulled the gate open for Michonne to drive through and Daryl and I to slip in right behind them.

He shrugged his arm still wrapped tightly around me. "I don't really belong in close corridors."

"You belong with me. You belong in this group." I tried to rest my head against his arm but we had reached the incline and it was hard to steady our movements. We both laughed at the incoordination. "They depend on you ya know? With Rick losing his sanity everyone kind of looks to you for leadership."

"Piss off," he gave me a slight push away from him causing me to laugh.

"Oh come on," I rolled my eyes grabbing his hand taking the lead forcing him upwards while I walked backwards to speak with him. "We can't leave Beth."

"Beth can handle her own. She's got Maggie and Hershel why does she need us?" he tried to fight off the smile but he could not.

I returned back to his side entwining our arms together. "Okay fine, Beth can't leave me. I need her."

"What are you two doing?" Rick asked closing the car door for Carl as they both stepped out.

"Just went for a walk," I responded for both of us. Things were returning to normal.

That was, until, Rick had stepped forward to us crouching his head to make sure we were the only ones to hear. "I need you're twos help."

"Absolutely not! She is not going." Daryl shouted pointing fingers at Rick.

I raised my hand. "I actually have to agree with Daryl on this."

Rick frowned striding towards me. "You'll be fine Rose. I'll be there and so will Daryl we won't let him touch you." Rick sighed seeing the refusal in my eyes. "He wants you Rose or something along those lines and I can bet he'll use Andrea against us." His hands were on my shoulders forcing me to listen to him. "Well then we can use you against him."

Daryl stepped forward pushing Rick away. "Don't touch her…and don't refer to her as something you can 'use.' I get what you're trying to work at Rick but don't you think he might try something on us to get her back to Woodbury."

"Maybe not if Andrea's there." He pinched his fingers together. "Just maybe we can threaten to hurt her if he doesn't leave us alone."

"Why can't you just sort this out peacefully and leave the lies out of it." I exclaimed pacing back and forth. It was such a brilliant idea of Rick's; using me to weaken the Governor's demeanor. He would give up anything just have me back in that apartment where I could only be his, and the fact Rick would threaten to hurt the baby was even better. Philip, honestly, was more interested in the child than me. It could always backfire though and he could really not care for me anymore. He did shoot up the prison knowing I was in here and out on the battlefield. Not to mention Daryl was absolutely against the idea of Philip being anywhere near me.

Rick's eyes pleaded with me. "Please Rose; I know you know it will work. No one has to get hurt if we can finish this."

I nodded in agreement. Daryl was storming around. "You can't seriously be agreeing to this! You used to cry and scream at night because of him and now you actually letting Rick use you against him. He could kill all of us, he could even kill you!"

"What else have we got?" I slapped my hands on my thighs in frustration, "Because Rick is right, they have Andrea. What to you guys have?" I stared at him waiting for a response, but he just looked at the ground. "Exactly." I walked forward resting my hand on the nape of his neck. "I'll be right by you at all times."

Daryl looked up at me. "Never out of my sight?" I smiled trailing my fingers to cross over my heart twice.


	23. Chapter 23

Tell me what you guys are thinking so far.

Any things to criticize let me know I would love to fix them for you all.

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><p>"Rick please, stop pulling me," I whimpered to the man as his grip on my shirt tightened as we walked through the grassy area. He gave me apologetic look before loosening his hold; I don't think he realized he was yanking on that fabric that hard. We'd been walking for about five minutes looking for where Philip was. Nothing but this empty factory surrounded us. That was until Daryl found a walker on the ground with fresh blood and I was whisked away again, this time by Daryl, as the two split up. "What if he is not even here? What if this is a trap?"<p>

"Then we die together." He whispered back crouching behind a wall to look past it. "Stop being so loud will you." I sighed pressing my face into his back, but he stood up peeking into a window. "He's here alright." Daryl told his hand grabbing my shoulder in a half-comforting sort of thing. My body shivered at the thought of him, the smug expression flashing through my memories. "Come on," he hissed pulling me away from the building and back to where we came from. "He's already in there." He told Hershel as the old man pulled up. "Sat down with Rick."

They both looked around. "I don't see any cars." Hershel spoke out

Daryl's hand itched as his crossbow. "It don't feel right. Keep it running." Suddenly the tires of a car screeched. "Heads up!" Daryl said pulling at my arm to keep me close by him as one of the Governor's trucks had pulled into the emptied lot. "The hell why is your boy already in there?" he asked as Andrea emerged from the car with that annoying cocky look on her face like she could control everything.

She eyed me slightly behind Daryl and begged to just start a fight with me on why I was here but confusion took its place. "He's here?"

Instead I started the fight as I pushed past Daryl. "Looks like another thing you don't know about. Wow Andrea such an honest relationship."

"Rose." Hershel barked at me like a father and my mean expression dropped as I fell back behind Daryl. Andrea sighed before walking to the metal slide door and pulling it open. The right side of my brain gave a twitch in short aggravation the beast of a migraine growling to be formed from my anger.

"What's going on?" I heard her ask.

"Nothing." The voice made me shiver. "Your friend isn't much into small talk."

"You want to talk, talk." Rick was having none of it today with Philip's fake niceness.

"I wanted you to talk." Andrea's voice was just adding flame to my burning hatred for the girl. "Too many people have died for no reason. Let's end this. Save the bullets for the real threat. We can solve this. That's why I asked you to come here."

I could not listen to this anymore so I turned to Daryl. "When can we leave?

Suddenly one of the Governor's men was shaking my hand. His round glasses shook every time he thrusted our hands up and down. "I'm Milton, Philip might not have mention me to you."

Daryl had his crossbow raised ready to shot an arrow through the man's skull but I held up my hand to my redneck boyfriend. If this man wanted to kill me he would not have made introduction but that is not why I became so interested in anything that came out of Woodbury."It's alright," I did not dare let my eyes leave Milton. "You knew about me?"

Milton gulped. "How is-is…the…How is the baby?"

"Fine for the most case." I glanced back at Hershel. "We don't really have the medical supplies for ultrasounds and test you know."

"How far along are you?" he asked and I have never seen so much curiosity in a person's eyes than I did in his.

My hand involuntarily went to my stomach the surface expanding now. Showing would take a while in my small frame or no time at all it depended on how truly far along I was. I knew I gained weight because my once flat, bony rib cage was gone a few layers of baby ft covering my skin. "I do not know. I lost count a while back."

"Any symptoms?" he looked from my stomach to me. "Any issues you feel?"

"Except the occasional fatigue and nausea, which has only been once, everything has been fine." I nodded my hands falling back to my sides.

"May I?" he gestured to my midsection with his hands.

Daryl stepped forward but I pushed him back. "Of course."

Milton bent down on his knees running his hands along the length of my stomach. "I used to have a knack for science, perhaps I have some way of knowing." His hands were cold against my skin but it felt nice. I wonder if he cold feel it's heart beat or a kick even though I did not know when those things begun. "Extraordinary eh? The power of life. So simply easy to begin but so complex to even think about. Hope is all I can think about. Death, death is everywhere now and that is nothing but such bad omen. It means black, dreary, sadness, everything no one wants to think about, but birth. Birth is magnificent and happy and _hopeful_," he looked up at me his hands leaving my goose bump covered skin.

"That was very sweet." I smiled taking his hand in mine then pushing away to let it fall back by his side.

"May I ask who the father is?" his eyes flickered to Daryl for a moment but came back to me.

Daryl had pushed me behind him in a matter of seconds. "I am. If you touch her one more time I am going to cut every one of you sticky fingers off…_slowly_."

"It was just a qu-!" Milton began but Daryl grabbed a fistful of his shirt, but let it go making Milton stagger backwards to the car. I stepped away from Daryl finding myself leaning against our car close to Hershel.

"We'll all be at each other's throats soon enough if things go sour in there." Hershel began as he started to get out of the car. "Wait until then please."

I smirked at Daryl who furrowed his eyebrows a small smile playing at his lips. "What?" he asked.

"You're cute when you are jealous." I motioned to his body that was far too tense. Daryl shook his head before taking those long strides to me to push me against the green car kissing me roughly; such a territorial thing. He knew people were watching, there was not much to watch out here. I did not mind though. His tough hands running down the length of my arms gliding over my hip bones to run the dry skin against my sides and back, his tongue sliding between my lips to just flick at mine in a teasing way, or the way his hips were ground into mine; such a man thing. "I think you proved your point Daryl." I patted his back as he was wishing to take this further than I expected his mouth softly sucking at the skin of my neck wanting nothing more to make his imprint on me. "Daryl." It was meant to sound stern but came out half a moan and I regretted it as heat flushed to my face. "Enough." I gripped his shoulders pushing him away.

"What?" he chuckled innocence written on his mischievous features. "What's mine is mine." A walker's gurgle echoed around the parking lot area where we all stood. Andrea, the other soldier, and Daryl were off trying to find the source of the noise leaving me alone with Milton and Hershel who were off in some other world speaking of records and test. I sighed leaning my head back onto the car trying to rest my head and enjoy the light. Time left my brain as I drank up the sun's sweet juices. This world was easy to get lost in. Vital things were forgotten like how warm the sun, how a fresh breeze carried the smell of oncoming rain. When I lived in Washington all there ever was was rain. I got used to it; I loved it. It was easy to smell, easy to predict, easy to enjoy. The smell of afternoon rain was always my favorite. Oh how I longed to go back to those days sitting in my front room listening to the drizzle on my rooftop while Keegan tried to play guitar to me. My heart ached at the thought.

Rick had ripped that away from me though as he yanked my shirt again towards the warehouse. "Enough with the pulling…" I gritted my teeth as my shirt wound up in his fist.

"Rose," his voice cracked but I held no sympathy. Philip stood up but Rick raised his pistol at him. My body tensed as I stared at him the same one eye still stone cold only warming up to my face. I did not know I was crying until my vision clogged with the water. "Please." He held up his hands showing he was not going to try anything. "Just don't hurt her, please. You know I am weaponless. Let me speak with her."

"I don't think she wants to hear anything you have to say." I was thankful for Rick responding.

"Why did you leave sweetheart?" he was coming closer and I pushed myself harder into Rick shaking my head at him. "Why did you leave?" Even though Rick had his gun poised the Governor kept coming. "Just give me a minute of privacy Rick."

"I ain't leaving." He said but stepped back.

Philip's chest hit me hard as he folded me into his arms stroking my hair as he swayed us back and forth. "Why did you leave?" I was trembling violently tears spilling onto my face uncontrollably. I hated this. I hated that Rick made me do this just to prove something. "We were going to start a family."

"With a baby that wasn't yours!?" I shoved him away from me. "You kept me near you by force using the fact I was very fatigued against me. No one should be kept without their will or consent! I left you because that was not my home! You are not my husband! You are not the father of my child! And you are certainly not anyone I want to see! You are crazy!"

His face crumpled with pain. "Please Rose, please come back home; to your real home."

I took a deep breath, I was losing it. I needed to remember what I came here for; what I was fighting for. "I want to remain in the prison but if you respect the boundaries Rick has set on the map then maybe we could make an arrangement to meet in the middle if you agree to the terms and cooperate with him." These lies spilled from my mouth willingly.

His hand trailed down my moisten face. "You know I can't do that sweet pea."

I recoiled away from him. "Then I never want to see you again." I turned and walked away. "And you will ever touch this child."

"Rose!" he called after me but I had slammed the metal doors shut collapsing to the ground sobbing. My palms were dug hard into my eyes as the choked crying came out uglier than expected. I tried to straighten up but fear was pulsing through my body rapidly stopping me from calming down. He would kill me. Now that he knows I no longer am letting him manipulate me with sanctuary he would kill wit the rest of my prison family. I could hear Philip and Rick arguing about something, maybe his wishes to have me back; I had no idea. I was scooped up into Daryl's arms a few minutes after.

"Hey, hey, hey what's wrong? Babe, what's wrong? Tell me? What happened?" he cooed kissing my head holding me to his chest. I just shook my head hoping he would get my message so I would not have to speak. I don't think I would have been able to speak even if I tried. "Shh Rose. It's okay, I am here now." He petted my hair trying to calm me. I squeezed my eyes trying to get my breathing the same rate as Daryl's heart. He kept whispering to me holding me in his arms and that was all I needed. I needed comfort. My blubbering had ceased and my tears were dry.

I looked up at him. "We're going to war."

Daryl nodded pushing my face back in his chest. "Don't worry. We will win." He turned me away and we walked back to the car where I laid in the back seat until Rick came back.


	24. Chapter 24

"How are you feeling?" her sweet voice asked as she walked into my cell.

I had been laying in here for what seemed to be almost two hours…maybe more. You could never keep track of time during the apocalypse. I have been staring at the bottom of the bunk above thinking about my options. I refused to talk to Daryl even though he just got done yelling at me for always pushing him away. I was not pushing him away; I needed my quiet. I just hoped he respected that. "Do you want the truth?" she nodded sitting on the edge of my bed holding out noodle mush which I slowly took. "Terrible."

"Is it because you are scared?" she asked her eyebrows furrowing.

"No," I brought a spoonful into my mouth shaking my head. "Not scared. I was, but not today."

Beth tilted her head to the side. "Why do you feel terrible then?"

"It's hard to explain." I shrugged pushing around the dregs of the soup. There was not much in it when I got it, even though I was starving I was in no mood to eat but I did anyways.

"Have you talked to Daryl?" Beth was getting concerned now; I could hear it in her questions. I shook my head. "I'll go get him."

"Wait!" I reached out and grabbed her arm to stop her. "Have you ever had to make a life or death decision that would not result in you getting hurt but others? Have you ever known one of those choices was safer than the other?"

Beth smiled shaking her head. "No, but when I had to leave my mother back on that farm I knew I could have died. I either had to abandon her or get abandoned. She was lost and I realized that later, so I am happy I chose to leave." She stood up. "I'll go get Daryl. He is just downstairs."

I nodded watching her leave my room. What was I thinking? My plan was completely stupid but strangely could work. I knew Daryl would be against whatever I had to say on the matter but hopefully he would listen. "You done thinking?" he asked walking the same path Beth had up to my bed.

"I've taken matters into my own hands…" I trailed off letting him scoop my fingers into his. "I think we should-we should go to Woodbury."

Daryl furrowed his eyebrows. "What?"

"Just you and I," I gulped. "The Governor would leave the prison alone. I know he wants me back there and if I go back he won't come here to attack everyone. Nobody would die."

"He wouldn't leave you alone." His grasp on my hand tighten. "Listen to yourself Rose. You sound insane. Going to Woodbury so he won't attack? He'll kill me, he'll never let you see the light of day, and he will still come to try and take the prison."

"I can make a com-!"

"Rose." He cut me off. "You're plan is something we better not try to test. No matter what happens to you he will still try to kill everyone here including you. Philip is obsessed with you but he is obsessed with _power _more." He frowned. "Please stop thinking about him. I can see what it is doing to you. You're all pale and you don't sleep like you used too. I hate seeing you like this; all scared and troubled over a man."

I gritted my teeth. "I ain't scared."

Daryl's hand was on my cheek in an instant. "You say that but I see straight through your façade. He scares you, but you're too stubborn to admit it. I will always be here to protect your ass do you understand me. We are going to war Rose whether you think you can stop that or not. We're going to fight this asshole off this earth. I need you to be brave."

"I am brave," I croaked.

"You are when you want to be." He smiled leaning forward pressing his lips to mine. "You are when it comes to me. I understand it has been a process to fight in this kind of world but you've made it so far don't give up on your courage just yet sweetheart there is still so much more to go."

"I am sorry." I told him swinging my legs off the bed. "I am just so paranoid that this is all my fault or I could be doing so much more to stop him."

Daryl watched me stand up as he still sat on the bed. "Nobody blames you." I nodded watching him stand up. "Come outside for a bit." He grabbed my hand pulling me out of the cell. I smiled realizing we were going nowhere but up now after our talk. "Rick is think about trading Michonne in to get him to leave us alone." He told me as we walked down the metal stairs, through the iron gate, and out of the cell block. The path always felt repeated, "Said maybe if we gave her to him he would be satisfied since she took out his eye." He pulled open to door letting in the bright light of the sun and lead me outside.

"What do you think of it?" I asked him squinting my eyes to look at his expression as we stopped.

"I don't agree with it, and plus I am hoping Rick will pull out of that decision." He sighed. "She has been so helpful I don't understand why he would give away one person with that much skill knowing what The Governor will do to her."

I held back the shiver. "What does Merle say?"

Daryl almost furrowed his eyebrows at the mention of his brother. Daryl knew I was still resentful towards Merle because of him taking me, but he did not know who I was. "He thinks Rick doesn't have the spine to do it."

"I'm sorry," I told him. "I shouldn't blame Merle for what happened to me at Woodbury it wasn't his fault for taking me there. If he would have known maybe he could have prevented it but Merle had no idea who I was."

"He could have gotten you out of there...' Daryl growled hating this topic.

"And jeopardize his ties with The Governor? He is helping us now and he even apologized for it." I gave him a reassuring smile.

Daryl sighed. "I should have never left with him. Once I found out he was the one that took you I beat the shit out of him. That's why I came back because he told me, and then I realized how much I could not bear to be away from you."

"Daryl!" Glenn shouted waving for the redneck to come over by the truck. "Come on!"

"Love you." He said kissing my cheek before running off. I was letting the steam roll over my shoulders when it came to the topic of him leaving. I did not want to hold a grudge and even if I wanted to was there even time to hold a grudge. We were always on the look-out, always taking precautions, always meeting somewhere to figure this war out. I did not ever find the time to wallow in aggravations.

"You okay?" My eyes shot up as the one-handed Dixion walked towards me. "I heard you crying yesterday."

"Yeah. I am okay now." I replied watching him pick at the knife at the end of his stump.

"I'm sorry you know." He told me and it felt oddly repeated. "If I would have known you was with my brother I would have never taken you to Woodbury."

"How was I any different than Glenn and Maggie?" the question slipped off my tongue. The question that bothered me. Daryl sometimes forgot they were taken there just along with me. They were tortured more than me in fact. They deserved just as much pity, if not more, than me.

He frowned. "You are with my brother and I care about my brother."

"They were with him too, we all were. They should not be treated any different than me just because your brother cares for me more." I sighed pinching the bridge of my nose. "I forgive you, for taking me away, and for taking Daryl away from me. Everything happened so fast I had no time to process any emotions that were going through me; there was so much going on I had no time to be angry at you for making him leave." I looked up at him. "I was frustrated though. Frustrated because you had each other while my brother still abandoned me. I hated he did not even say goodbye when he left with you. But I want to let it go.I want to move on. For the longest time I have been holding onto everything that has happened to me the last month. I want to put it behind me so I can focus on what is happening now. There is no point going into a battle hateful."

"He'll kill you." Merle said sadly. "The Governor, no matter how much you think he wants you, he'll kill you. He wants this prison and you're just standing in the way."

I nodded. "I know and I'd rather him kill me than take me, but I will not go down without a fight."

Merle looked down fiddling with his hand and stump. "You treat him well?" Déjà vu hit me hard at his questions flashbacks of his interrogation of me flooding into my mind. Back then in that room he had asked if Daryl treated me well, now it was switched.

"I try." My voice shook. "Our relationship is messed up. He always want me tucked away somewhere I can't get hurt while he fights, sometimes I want to fight while he is locked away. We care too much about each other and the safety of each other. We don't fight for the group, and I hate to say that, but we fight to stay alive; both of us do. I push his buttons too much and he cares too deeply for me. We'll get each other killed." I frowned. "Daryl, he means the world to me and I do not know if I could ever survive without him. That scares me. He was always so afraid to commit and now I know why. Having someone you would give your life away too was frightening, the sacrifices you were always willing to throw out there makes me shiver. I love him through and I hope in the long wrong all this bull shit was worth it. I hope we make it out of this together in one piece."

"And the addition?" the smile was playing at his mouth. "What do you think it is?"

"I hope it's a girl." I rolled my eyes. "Daryl wants a boy."

Merle shook his head beaming. "Well Uncle Merle would be happy with any gender as long as it's healthy."

The pride in his face almost made me break down into tears.

* * *

><p>It was the first time I had been outside the fence since I left with Maggie and Glenn <em>that <em>day; for some reason I wanting nothing more than to be back inside. Merle was gone and so was Michonne; Daryl had come to me without even an explanation as to where we were off too, but I knew something was wrong when we left the prison gates. That's when he told me Merle followed Rick's plan of taking Michonne to The Governor and they were both on the run. I did not know why Merle would do this. He seemed like a changed man when I talked to him just hours ago. I just shut my mouth following Daryl where he lead me. We took to the woods Daryl's hunting skills taking in as he tracked his brother. I did not dare speak afraid to get into his head and mess this up, but something was nagging at me. Something that was hard to ignore. "Why did you come to me?"

"What?" he softened his expression as we walked onto a roadway.

"Why did you come to me?" I asked again. "You were with Rick. You could have just left but you came to find me. Why?"

"Does there need to be a reason?" his eyes looked around for any sign of Merle running through these parts. We found a motel a little ways back with a couple freshly dead walkers signaling Merle had been there and must have taken a car judging by the tire streaks towards the exit of the place.

"It does not make sense to me." I sighed. "You chose me of all people to be your back up."

"If I am gearing you up for war I need to trust you." The control in his voice angered me.

"Trust me?" My teeth ground together. "You don't trust me. We just got over that hump of trust on letting me go where I please, which for the record I did not want to come with you, and now you suddenly don't trust me?"

Daryl rolled his eyes. "I trust you Rose, but if we are going to war I need to know how you are going to react to situation. I need to know how you fight. I do not need you running out in a field and almost getting killed."

I nodded. "Okay I see your point."

"Wow." He chuckled. "Not much of a fight there then."

"No," I did not smile in return, "Because you are right. That prison does not have good target practice and I need to warm up to danger. The last attack was just a lick of it, this next one will swallow us if we don't prepare."

"I am actually quite scared of you when you get like this." he looked sideways at me.

"Like what?"

"Like a little war machine." He smirked.

"Oh please," I snorted. "I'm just defending home. I am not a little war machine."

"Yes but with that attitude you could achieve anything." He put his eyes front.

I smiled. "I learn from the best."

"Sometimes I feel like our roles switched from when I first met you." Daryl shook his head.

"Sometimes, me too." I looked at my gun. "I can't believe I used to be afraid of guns." This reminiscing was making me awfully sad.

He frowned and I could sense he felt the same way. "Tell me about that day."

I did not need to ask about what day he was talking about. I remember I never told him the full story but I knew Rick had given him a paraphrased version of it. He wanted me to tell him. "I was nearly sixteen." I sighed squeezing my eyes shut. "My father-my father always had him over-his name was Martin. They worked at the same school you see, so co-workers are always friends. Well my father was having a party for all his friends at work, so Martin thought it would be the perfect time for us to take things further. I remember his face when he touched my shoulder pushing me onto my bed. He wanted to test me; he wanted to see how far he could take me-see how long it would take until I cracked. It wasn't long. For three years I had put up with this pervert, I had run out of the power to fight him off. I let him rape me. I let him destroy me. I let him take away the one thing girls hold true. I let him rip away ever drop of a childhood I could ever drink upon. He stole everything from me." I looked into the trees. "Keegan beat him to a pulp once he found out. After everything went down I finally went to him to tell him the whole story. He told my mom and dad but they cared more about their own relationship than my assault. I still loved them though, but Keegan was always my protector. Keegan could not prevent him from coming over, but he could protect me from him. He would always take me to the movies or out for ice cream to get me away from that nightmare. Then one night, Keegan could not prevent me from Martin any longer. Martin made me take a pregnancy test when Keegan was not home and that's when he lost it. He could not bear the shame of people finding out he was pedophile so he hit me several times in my midsection until I bled." I turned to Daryl. "He never talked, touched, or even saw me again. I hope they ate him slowly."

"How did you know he wrecked you on the inside?" Sadness laced his eyes.

"Keegan took me to the doctors after he came back from his university vacation. They told me." I shrugged. "After everything was done I began to lose all courage I had left in me. I was scared of everything. Keegan put up with it all because he hated seeing me so sad. He was the only one that ever cared about me…until you came along."

Daryl frowned. "I am so sorry Rose."

"It was not your fault." I leaned over pressing myself closer to him. "I moved on. Took me six years to do it, but I moved on."

"I don't know how you do that." He grabbed my hand giving it a hard squeeze.

"Do what?" I looked up at him.

"Just move on from things." He flickered his eyes around the trees. "You just have a skill on processing the ability to put things behind you as if it never happened."

I smiled reassuringly. "If you dwell on the past to much it will corrupt your whole life. Anger, guilt, grief, sorrow…too much and it destroys you. Now happiness, happiness is what makes life flourish and if you could just learn to always be happy everything else comes naturally."

"I love you." He stopped for a minutes grabbing my face and kissing me. "I have never met someone so passionate and lovely before in my life. I love you so much."

"I love you too Daryl," I smiled entangling our arms continuing to track Merle. We left the road way onto some grass after Daryl had spotted something. I did not know what but it must have been something important to make him take off like that.

"Hey!" he shouted walking into a grassy area. "Where's my brother?" he asked as Michonne was removing her sword from a walker's head. "You kill him?" Instead of staying behind Daryl I was slightly ahead of him my hand lingering over my gun. I knew I could never shoot Michonne but if she even showed a hint of attack Daryl I would be quick to act. I protected him over everything.

She shook her head. "He let me go."

"Don't let anyone come after me." He said and pushed past her. I knew that excluded me as I followed right behind him. He was determined now, a new anger set in his eyes. I could feel confusion around him as to why Merle let Michonne go after going through so much trouble to get her out here. It seemed to me Merle's plan was so much more complex than we both thought it to be. I was seeing familiar landmarks as we approached where we were a few days ago. The abandoned warehouse…why were we here? "Merle!" Daryl called out. "Merle!"

"Daryl I don't think he is here." I whispered checking around for any sign of The Governor or walkers.

"His trail ends here though…" Daryl looked around. A few dead walkers littered the ground but a live one was munching away at a dead Woodbury resident. He fired an arrow at the walker and jogged over to it removing the arrow and glancing around for any sign of his brother. I could sense something was off the moment he stopped. His body language set concern straight through my veins. His crossbow slipped from his fingers as Merle looked up at him, but it _wasn't _Merle. It was a walker. A walker with intestines hanging from its mouth from its last meal; it was not Merle. I noticed the gunshot wound to his stomach as he stood up. Philip must have shot him and left him to turn into a flesh eating monster. I stared at Daryl watching his world crumble beneath him as Merle began to come at him. Daryl cried as he shoved his brother away and all I could do was watch. He did not want to kill his brother but he knew it was over. Daryl continued to push Merle away as I stared. I could do nothing else for him now. "No!" he pushed him away again and I was raising my gun, but Daryl had shoved a knife into his neck throwing him to the ground. Then he plunged the knife into Merle's head several times crying out in angst as he fell back onto the grass.

I walked forward as he laid on the ground sobbing. "Daryl." I whispered softly going down onto my knees resting my hand on his chest to stop him from rolling around in his own grief. "I am so sorry." I wrapped my hands under him pulling him up into my arms. He sobbed into my shoulder and all I could do was rub circles along his back and rock him back and forth trying to think of something to say, but this was different. I knew how to comfort when someone was scared or sad, but how do you comfort grief. When I believe Keegan had died I thought I would be sadder but I was angry and took to excusing him leaving as death to remove the idea of him not wanting me. How could I resolute Daryl's pain when I could never know what he felt. Sure I was distraught when Lori had passed but that was more the feeling of guilt that plagued me. "I am so, so sorry." His arms slowly snaked their way around me. Squeezing me, digging his face into my skin, pulling at the layer on my arms, he had pain building inside of him raging life a fire and he had no idea how to let it out, so he just cried. I wonder if he knew he was hurting me, or that my arms were bleeding where his nails dug into my skin. I could feel myself beginning to cry seeing him like this holding him like a lost child. He hated to see me in such a pain how did he expect me to endure his? My poor Daryl could not handle his emotions and I wished I could take away his hurt onto myself. He was blubbering words but I could not comprehend them as he trembled violently. I just held him. I held onto him tightly because that's what he needed. He needed me. He needed me to be there with him and for him. He need me to hold his broken frame together. That's why he brought me along with him. That's why I allowed myself to lay on that grass with him for hours until he had cried out all his sadness.


	25. Chapter 25

Big war chapter coming up ;)

* * *

><p>I stared at him quietly watching as he looked up onto the grey metal of the bunk above. We have been sitting in this silence for what seemed to be an eternity. I could not speak. For some unknown reason words failed to form in my mouth. I wanted him to weep again so I knew how he was feeling because he was void of any emotion and that made me awfully worried. It was tough getting him to come all the way back here after everything went down, but he reasoned with me and allowed me to help him back to the prison. His refusal to leave Merle lying there nearly got us both killed with the amount of walkers there. He listened to me though. And now here he sat showing nothing but a sad face. I longed to touch him but every time I tried he push me away. He was pushing me away… I walked out of the cell and down the stairs. "How is he doing?" Hershel asked moving his crutches to the side.<p>

"He won't talk. He won't cry. He is just sitting there." I sighed grabbing a cup and filling it up with water. "I wish he would do something than just sit there emotionless."

"He's in shock. He doesn't know how to feel." Hershel said. "Sit with him. He'll need you."

My grip on the cup tightened. "I know that and it hurts me to see him like this." I stormed out of there and into C block to make my way back to Daryl. He was still lying there. "I got you some water." I said holding out the cup which he did not even glance at. "Come on Daryl you have to drink." No response. "Daryl pl-!"

His hand swiped up and knocked the cup right out of my fingers. The water splattered across the floor on the cement ground. "Go away."

I frowned. "Don't do this Daryl. I understand you are very upset I cannot blame you for going through such a traumatic experience, but please, do not do this to me. Do not do this to us. You need to be strong. I know you aren't an emotional person and that you like to keep everything bottled away, but I need you to let me care for you just as you care for me. I hate seeing you like this."

"Be strong?" He sneered at me not daring to make contact with my eyes. "My brother just died! You have no idea what that feels like! My own brother died and I had to kill him!" I wonder if he realized I did know what it felt like. My brother abandoned me, that had the same feeling. It was not grief but it still made me sad at night.

I took a deep breath trying to look past his loud words. "People are going to die Daryl, but staying in here wallowing in your own grief is not going to bring him back. We are going to war; avenge him."

He finally looked at me. "I did not mean to hurt you."

"You didn't." I sat down on the bed placing my hand on his chest. "You are hurt Daryl, you have all the right in the world to be angry, and distant, and irrational. I would go through a million fights with you if it meant you could get your emotion out. Sitting here in silence not saying anything that's what I hate." I curled my fingers into his shirt feeling his muscles tighten beneath my hand. "I am so sorry about everything that has happened and not a day goes by I don't wish you could give your pain to me so you wouldn't have to endure it. You don't know how much it makes me cry that I can't take your sorrow."

"I didn't mean this." his lips tugged down even further. "I meant this." His fingers trailed down my arm where scabbing cuts littered my skin. "I-I didn't-"

I grabbed his hand in mine squeezing them both together. "It is alright."

Dark shadows lingered in his eyes. "I should never hurt you. What I did was unacceptable."

"Hey," I reached over resting my hand on his cheek. "I am not hurt. I am alright. Don't think for a second I am scared of you or mad at you because I never was or ever will be. You were going through such a terrible time when everything went down. I would go through anything just to make sure you are okay."

"Doesn't that scare you?" he asked, "Being so willing to make sacrifices for another person."

"Every day," I smiled leaning down to kiss him. "Whenever you are ready come downstairs and help with the preparations." I stood up leaving him behind me in the cell block. I knew I should not have rushed his grieving process but letting him sit there and going into battle sad would be devastating. He needed to straighten up before The Governor decided to attack. We had no idea when he would come but we were preparing. Rick would have met with him yesterday to trade Michonne and no doubt he would have killed both of them and still come here to ambush us. Rick guessed they would most likely come in the next few days so he was gearing up. He sent Glenn, Maggie, and I into the tombs to search for anything we could use against him. Now with Daryl being disabled to do any work Rick was depending on me to scavenge and defend. Even though I was just filling in I was proud with how far I had gotten. Just a year ago I was always cowering inside the R.V. scared to ever leave unless Lori or Carol needed my help with chores, but now I was venturing into a dark place where danger lurked around every corner and the best part was I was leading the other two. Beth kept asking how I could be so happy despite Daryl's lack of coping skills, so I would tell her it was nice to be involved.

"Is he alright?" Rick asked as I exited the prison out into the courtyard.

I nodded. "I think he is ready to move on."

Rick put his hand in front of his face to shield from the sun. "What did you say to him?"

"Just some stuff," I shrugged. "I tried to talk some sense into him."

"You can't be angry at him for being upset about his brother." Rick stated as if I had just yelled at Daryl for crying.

My head shook back and forth. "I'm not. I just told him he needs to accept his grief and face it with courage. Bottling it up would be terrible for him while going into war. Give his despair a back rub and blanket and it will transform with beauty."

Rick smiled looking around. "I wonder if this place is worth it."

"It is." I smiled back shifting on my own feet. "Why do you think Philip wants it?"

He frowned. "I just don't want to lose anybody."

"You won't."

He walked closer to me. "Will you take Judith? I'd feel a lot safer if she was with you. I would give her to Beth but she would be with Hershel and I don't feel like their defense is reliable."

"Beth can handle anything." I said. "My place is here, with you guys."

"I know," he sighed. "But w-!"

"She's staying here." The door on C-block slammed closed as Daryl emerged from it holding his crossbow. His footsteps were weary as if he were to take one wrong move his body would crumble beneath him. He was fighting so hard with himself; an internal conflict I could not fathomed if it were about Merle or me.

"Are you okay?" Rick asked knowing how much he had slipped off the edge when Lori died.

Daryl glared at him. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters." I gave him a playful shove trying to diffuse his building anger and sadness. "We care about you; we don't want to see you upset. Come on; help me take out some walkers by the fence." I smiled grabbing his hand and pulling him away. I knew after all this war stuff was over I was going to have to deal with Daryl's grief. I was okay with that; as long as he was in a fit state right now. I needed him to be strong so I could be. We were always pushing away our conflict hoping it would figure itself out over time. This was different. I could see it in his eyes, those big sad eyes, with longs to just scream out all his pain but he held it in for the sake of everything. We would get through it. We always did.


	26. Chapter 26

I shoved my shirt into my small bag. It used to be a white color but countless washes with blood mixed into had turned it a soft pink. I sighed remembering I had worn this the first day I met Daryl. I was wearing a jacket over it and another shirt but it was still on me. How far we have come sense then; thinking back I may have lost that jacket along the way. There were more clothes and canned apples along with a small photo I found under my pillow when I removed the sheets to pack away. It was of Keegan and I way back into our teen years. I was thirteen and he had just turned nineteen and getting ready to go back off to college. That was the day Martin was arrested. He took me out to a cheesy, immature restaurant to tell me where he was going and how long he would be gone, a year; a whole year without my brother all from his ambition on becoming a lawyer. I wished for the day I would not need him so much to protect me but the world was so much scarier back then. That day has come though, I do not need him to protect me. The world was scarier back when I was littler but much more frightening now and I grew out of my habit of relying on him. It did not stop the tear from plopping down onto the picture and flinging down onto the floor. I did not need him that did not mean I did not miss him. He was my brother; my love for him was unconditional. Something was draped over my shoulders and when I looked around Daryl was behind me smiling. "I don't have much." I sniffed wiping my nose with the back of my sweater.

"Do you miss him?" he asked a sad gleam in his eyes.

I looked back at him. "Missing him is not a priority."

"You talk about him when you sleep. I stay up, and I watch you toss and turn crying out for him. I don't want to be mad at him but I don't understand how he could do that to you..." he trailed off realizing this was not something I wanted to talk about at the moment. "You sure you want to do this?" he grabbed my bag for me and leading me out of our cell. "They're still here if you want to go."

I shook my head giving the empty cell block one last glance before walking outside. "No, I want to stay here."

"Please don't!" Beth cried out running into my arms. "What if you get hurt? Please come with us!"

Daryl had walked to the car pushing my bag into the pile with the others. "I will be okay Beth." I pulled the girl's forehead to my lips, "And so will you. We'll see each other sooner than you think. You can go with Carl, we need to hold the front out there too." She buried her face into my chest. I wanted to comfort her but Hershel pulled her away from me.

"Come on. We best be getting out of here." He lead her towards the cars.

I watched them drive away. The only sure chance of safety had left me here. I tried to be okay with it. Daryl's hand was in mine in an instant dragging me back into prison so we could set our plan in action. Rick had given the idea of leading The Governor's army into the tombs before basically unleashing an army of walkers onto them. It could totally work if they did not fine us. Daryl and I had to spilt up in order for this to work and I hated that, but we had to win. Rick, Daryl and I would go into different sections of the tomb where we knew walkers lied just beyond that door. All along our way there we had to give off noise to lead Philip's army deeper into their doom. My fingers were crossed the whole way into the death chamber. "_Listen to me_," Daryl said quickly grabbing my face in his hands. Rick kept moving forward when we paused. "If you get into a situation you run do you understand me? You run as fast as you can and you try to get out of here to safety. Don't let him get you; don't let those walkers get you. Be smart and careful and just be ready to run as fast as you can. Don't you worry about coming to find me." His lips crashed onto mine and I could feel moisture from his skin as it fell from his eyes. I have only seen him cry once before. "I love you so much, and not a day goes by I am grateful for letting you into my life. You are the best thing that has-" he paused to sniff, "-ever happened to me. No other person comes even close to my heart as you do. I am sorry for pushing you away when Merle died, I am sorry for not allowing you freedom, I am sorry for ever being a jerk to you, and I am sorry for always caring way too much about you. You'll be the death of me you know that. If I die today I want you to know that you are my entire world. You have taken over every piece of me possible that could be occupied. I need you to get out of this okay even if I am dead and gone you need to keep breathing. As long as you keep breath I will always be happy."

I was sobbing as I banged on his chest. "Stop! You are going to be fine! I am going to be fine! Stop talking like we're goi-!" he shut me up by kissing me again. I wanted to stop crying but his words were hitting my heart like burning cannonballs of fire. He cared so much about me he would force me to go on without him. I wonder if he knew I would do the same. If my death had ever come early I would always want him to continue on despite our attachment to each other. I wonder if he knew I could never leave him in here if trouble came upon us. He thinks it would be easy to run away from him, but it never was. That's why I was in this mess with him today. "I love you too Daryl." I sighed squeezing him tighter. Rick has disappeared off to his station or otherwise I would not have broken down. Not in front of him, not now. "We're going to make it out of this in one piece. Both of us, or not at all. Honestly you think I would just leave you in here."

"I wanted to make sure you would come back to me." He swiped his thumb across my cheeks riding my face of my tears.

"Why do you think we are in this situation?" I smiled though the tears kept coming, "Because I can't stop coming back to you."

"Once this is over with we're getting married." He smirked before taking off leaving me standing there alone confused as hell. I walked off though trying to regain focus avoiding thinking about what could possibly go wrong. I sat on the floor in the tombs, in semi-darkness, listening; listening for walkers, for the army, for any sign of danger or even life for that matter for an hour mostly. Then the prison shook and I knew shit was getting real. I squeezed my eyes shut trying to listen but everything was so hazed. I could make out the gun fire from above as they made their way into the prison and then everything went silent. I could guess they were searching through C-Block for traces of us remaining there. That was Daryl's cue and I could hear the soft tap on metal. I could picture him running now closer to where Rick was. I waited; my turn coming sooner, as we foreshadowed the army was bound to split up entering the tombs. I waited one more minute before giving of my taps then taking off. I ran as fast I could towards where Rick made the checkpoint running as quiet as humanly possible. Then I stopped meeting my end zone. The smoke bomb exploded a little ways away from and I could hear my breaths becoming shallower as adrenaline pumped through my veins. Rick must have been long gone by now heading back to Glenn and Maggie outside in case they needed back-up. Daryl cue was set and the sirens sounded, it pleased me he was at least safe inside somewhere. My grip on the door tighten as I swung it open unleashing the walkers within. They, of course, went immediately to where all the commotion was going on leaving me totally unnoticed behind the door. I took off in the other direction heading to where Daryl ought to be in the control room. I knew The Governor's army would not come close to venturing down here but that didn't allow me to put my gun away.

"Daryl!" I panted swinging the door open. He was nowhere near here. He must have turned them on and left the tombs to find Rick. I quickly walked over to the sirens and shut them off not wanting to attract more walkers like the day when Lori died. I groaned wondering where he could of went but no such idea came into my mind. I sprinted off making my way out of the tombs through the exit in the control rooms. This led out to the back area of the prison where we found a courtyard with basketball hoops and some weight lifting gear. If I took that exit through the cafeteria and into cell block-A I could make it back to cell block-C, so that's what I did. None of it made sense. Why would Daryl leave his post in the control room? I heard gunshots ringing about as C-block was approaching nearer. Maggie and Glenn must be firing at them to leave. I wonder if they were hitting us back…I was stupid. I was so stupid. I should have stayed in the tombs where I was supposed to be. Instead I wanted to find Daryl all because of his dumb speech about him not making it though this even though we both knew he was our toughest. Our plan was working so well until I freaked out and wanted to find him. I was so stupid. Walking out in the courtyard watching as The Governor's army was fleeing. They were fleeing. They were shooting at Maggie and Glenn, but we were winning. I was stupid. I was stupid leaving myself vulnerable out in that courtyard.

I screamed. I screamed load as excruciating pain shot up my leg, and then my side. I screamed out gargling on my own words. I just screamed. Not feeling anything except agony.

I was so stupid

* * *

><p><em>Daryl's P.O.V.<em>

"Rose!" I called out leaving the control room. "Rose!" I knew The Governor's men were long gone out of here. I had to fine her. I had to make sure she was okay. I could just hear the army fleeing the tombs into the open fire. We were in the clear. "Rose?" She was not in her spot where she was supposed to stay. Why did she never stay where she supposed to? The sirens I had just set off suddenly went silent and I knew, then, something was wrong. I sprinted all the way back to where I had just come from hoping she was still in there after shutting them off but she was not. She was looking for me; I knew that in a second. It's my entire fault. If I would have never said anything to her she would not have been worried something may happen. I got into her head.

I was so stupid.

I pushed out of the control room door into the basketball court and through A-block making my way towards C-block. Faint noises of gunshots rang through my ears as Maggie and Glenn shot at the army hoping to chase them out of here. "Rose." I sighed relief spreading throughout me as I exited the door leading into C-block. The smile spread across my face realizing we both were going to make it out of this alive as she came into my view

I was so stupid.

Her leg gave a jerk to the side and then her whole body trembled causing her to tumble to the ground. She was screaming. "No!" I cried out running to her. It was The Governor. His car was the last to pull out of the prison and no doubt he would want the last word, in this case, the last shot. She was bleeding heavily from her left leg just on her upper thigh and another wound was just under the right breast. I quickly removed my belt fastening it above the wound on her leg to stop the bleeding. I did not know what else to do. "Maggie!" I shouted. "Glenn!" They had to be here. I need their help. My hands were already drenched in her blood as I tried to stop her from shaking so much. I cannot lose her now, not after everything.

"Oh my god!" Maggie shrieked falling down beside me.

"Help me."

"We need to get those bullets out of there and stop the bleeding." She said tears falling down her face. She tried to straighten up as she applied pressure to the gun shot wound on Rose's side. Glenn refused to look at her keeping an eye out for any sign of The Governor's return.

"D-D-Dar-" Rose began to whimper staring at me as she shook. She gave a groan clutching onto her stomach.

I grabbed her hands to stop her from messing with the wound. "Come on Rose. Just hang on a little longer. Hershel is on his way back he is going to help you. Please Rose just keep breathing." I whispered dipping my face near here to kiss her on the forehead. Her blood coated my skin burning at the flesh each time she jerked with pain."Be strong for me sweet heart. Keep breathing. Keep fighting." She was hemorrhaging something that happened when amounts of blood were in the process of being lost. "You can't leave me now. I just lost my brother I can't lose you too."

She tried to speak but blood tricked from her mouth and she gargled on her own breaths. How long did she have? Could she survive? We had to get her inside. Where was Hershel? "I-I-I-" she sighed before closing her eyes rolling her head to the side.

"Maggie!" I sobbed looking to the girl for an answer. "Help her!"

Maggie looked scared as she check for a pulse. "She is alive Daryl, she just passed out. Help me get her inside."

It was easier to deal with everything once she had stopped shaking. Seeing her there lying in her own blood shaking made me anxious and freaked out. I had to keep her alive. I shoved my hands under her body ready to pick her up when I heard something. "Get away from her!" someone was running at us and I heard Glenn load his gun at his side. "Get away from her!' A man was running up the gravel path towards us. Glenn raised his gun at the young man since I did not have it in me to defend myself. He stopped immediately throwing his hands into the air. "Please," he pleaded looking back and forth to each of our faces. I had seen him before…

I gasped.

"That's my sister."

* * *

><p>I am so excited for the next few chapters ! eep<p>

Also, I will be introducing a character soon or two so look of for them

Hope you enjoy :)


	27. Chapter 27

_"There's a difference between what a woman wants and what a woman needs." Jackson puffed smoke rings out of his mouth fiddling the cigarette between his two fingers._

_My eyebrow rose. "Oh yeah?" I leaned over pumping my cancer stick against the ash tray before leaning back and taking another puff billowing smoke around me after the inhale.. "And what do they need?"_

_Jackson smirked looking up into nothingness. "Woman have developed a fantasy that in order for life to be fully sufficient and satisfying they need a husband who is charming, generous, basically everything we are truly incapable of ever being, they wish for us to marry them and provide them with children." He pointed his cigarette at me squinting his eyes for drama. "We, of course, supply to their needs for their daddy issues, loneliness, and the back lash of heartbreak." He smashed the butt of his smoking device into the tray twisting his slim fingers repeatedly as he talked. "In reality all woman need is a good choice of wine and a friend who is always willing to lend her his own two fingers."_

_"That's horrible." I shook my head chuckling as I leaned forward once more to follow his steps in smashing the cigarette out._

_Jackson shrugged a serious facial expression washing over his skin. "How's your sister?"_

_I nodded dazed by the question. "She's good."_

_"Is that creep still…" he looked at me. "You know-touching her?"_

_"No." My fingers snapped against my knee several times until I met his eyes with mine. "Not anymore."_

_"You're parents still refusing to acknowledge the guy is a sicko?" It was the first time I had every really heard Jackson's voice monotone. I think he was afraid of asking me such a subject._

_I sighed reaching across the table to grab the bottle of vodka. "My mother is too defensive of my father and my father is too defensive of Martin. It's like they're protecting each other." I poured the hard liquor into a glass cup. "Sick bunch the lot of them. They deserve each other." I brought the cup to my lips sipping the clear liquid in it cringing at the strong taste. "That's nice." The cup clinked against the wooden table as I set it down. I wonder if he would ask more._

_"Is she taking everything well?" Such an interesting topic. "With you leaving and all?"_

_"She understands." I tilted the glass back once more after picking it up. "She cried awfully lot. I would have brought her up here with me but she has school, and the university life is no place for a sixteen year old." The cup was drained._

_Jackson took the burden, filling the glass up himself and setting it back on the table in front of me. "She's a nice girl, your sister, very pretty."_

_I winced. "Please, Jackson I would appreciate if you did not describe my sister as pretty at the moment." He nodded looking down realizing how touchy the subject was by the reaction of my fist curling around the glass cup. The cool surface was against my lips. "And anyways she is nothing less than beautiful." I drained the remaining content of the cup._

_"When are you going back home?" Changing the subject. Such a clever move._

_Once more I filled the container up with vodka swirling it around in its hold before sipping on it. My fingers were already beginning to tingle as the alcohol rushed through my blood stream. Good. "Soon." I slid the glass onto the table asking Jackson to refill for me which he gladly did. I remember meeting him in my earlier years bonding over such games as hockey and Call of Duty. When the topic of collage came into the picture he was instantly by my side blabbering about going to the same university. I did not mind though. Going to some distant place? It was best to have someone you knew or in any case, someone you liked. Jackson was the, what was the word? Oh yes, Jackson was my best friend. I had many other friends; some I cannot remember the names of, but friends none the less. Not one of them comes close to my heart as Jackson, none of them were as loyal and comedic and completely idiotic as he was. "Maybe another year." _

_"A whole year?" his eyes widened. "Do you think that's safe?"_

_"Why wouldn't it be?" I set my glass down folding my hands together._

_He frowned."Well your sister can't really survive on her own."_

_"Why must my sister always play a factor in what course my life takes?"_

_Jackson refused to make eye contact. "She just got over being molested for three years and your parents don't really show any sign of caring about that so who knows if the creep is really gone. She is a poor, innocent, weak girl and you are releasing her into the world to fend for herself?"_

_I sighed ignoring his statement. "How's Amanda? Or who is it this week?"_

_"Delilah." He chuckled pulling out another cigarette from his pocket and lighting it up, "And she is great for the night. I am thinking of ending it though…she has become terribly clinging requesting we go on a date to that new restaurant that just opened up down the block." He inhaled harshly releasing the smoke out of his nose. "What's the name again?"_

_"Tom Billy's." I smiled tapping my fingers against the cracked wood of the table. "Best Burgers You've Ever Had!"_

_Jackson shook his head bumping the ash off the cigarette. "Thinking of using the old 'it's not you it's me' sort of thing."_

_"I am sorry we don't get on too well…" I trailed off always hearing these words._

_"And the shazam." He rolled his eyes. "Honestly you think I could be more original."_

_"You are as original as it gets Jacks." I winked playful pushing away from the chair and walking to the kitchen where my phone laid connected to the outlet by my charger. I waited until the minute section flipped over turning the time to 10 o'clock. Then my phone buzzed; like it did every night._

_"Keegan…" She was crying. "Keegan please come home."_

_I sighed pressing my back into the counter. Jackson looked up from the table catching my slight distress. He knew my body language enough to tell who it was and what was going on. "What is it this time Rose?" She was silent; I could barely hear her breathing. "Rose." I straightened up. This was the fourth time she pleaded with me to come back home, but she always dismissed it before the call ended. This was different. Something in her voice was stranger like she was scared of speaking it too me. I was usually the only one she told her secrets too, she trusted me and I gave her full ability to do so. She was my sister. No one was ever going to care about her more than me. I would never hurt her like many men do to woman, Jackson being a perfect example. She meant the world to me and she was too much of a precious girl to have gone through so much trouble. I went to hell and back to make sure she never was upset again. I comforted her when she cried, I sang to her when she had nightmares, I had beat up her assaulter. I had become her protector something parents could never do, especially ours. Rose and I had to stick together. _

_Suddenly her muffled breathing came back into my ear. "I-I…it's-he…Martin."_

_"What did he do?" my grip on the phone tightened as I fled the kitchen already searching for my coat. Whenever he was involved there was going to be a problem._

_"He hit me."_

_I nearly dropped the phone at her words. "He what?" I was fuming. I threw on my coat grabbing my keys from the pocket. This was the last straw. He was done for it now. Hitting a minor was defiantly a charge I could place under him in the police station with proof. I did not bother packing any clothes knowing if I decided to remain at home she would come with me to gather my things. I was never going to leave her alone again. "Tell me everything." I slammed the apartment door closed leaving Jackson alone with his own thoughts to figure out the situation._

_On the other line she took a sharp intake of breath. "He thought I was pregnant and he hit me in my stomach." Her voice trembled. "I think something's wrong." Her sobs hit my ears as I started the engine of the car. "Help me Keegan."_

* * *

><p><em>"May I help you?" He didn't deserve an answer. All he deserved was my fist, so that is what I gave him. I beat him into his doorway pushing him back onto his hard wood floor. "Keegan may I ask what the problem is?" he tried to be polite, but I was not as naïve as my sister may have been. His hand was grasping onto his bleeding nose as his eyes stared up at me; eyes that saw my sister at her most humiliating point. I tried to control myself but those eyes, those hands, that mouth, everything had infected my sister. Every last bit of him. I lost it.<em>

_"You know very well what you did." I don't think he knew my sister would every really tell me he beat the pregnancy out of her. I don't think he knew or guessed how I would react. He must have known I left for university, but I don't think he anticipated me to ever come back. He knew how much this town plagued my life. I don't really remember what happened after that. All I remember was hearing my sister screaming at me to stop, I remember seeing the flashing lights of the police, and I remember his blood splattering onto my skin. I could not stop. It took half-of-a-dozen police men to pull me off the sick bastard, and a sixteen year old girl to calm me down. I lashed out to get at him as they yanked him away after I tried to explain everything to them through angry teeth. They knew, I had reported him more than enough times for them to know he needed to be locked away. She removed her jacket trying to rid my knuckles of her assaulter's blood but it would take a good scrub from something other than a woman's coat. After finally giving up hearing the sirens roar off into the distant with Martin in the back she wrapped my bloody hand in hers leading down the sidewalk. "Are you scared?"_

_She did not look at me. "Of what?"_

_"Of me?"_

_Her eyes trailed along the concrete. "Of course not. You're my big brother. I need you to beat up the guys who break me."_

_We did not stop until we reached the ice cream parlor I always took her too when Martin always came around. It was our safe haven. I ordered for the both of us as she found or designated booth, but this trip seemed different. Something was off. She was clearly still extremely distraught by the doctor's visit she had not just hours before I had attack Martin. I slid into the booth across from her holding our desserts. "Hey it's alright." I grabbed the top of her hand seeing the sadness written in every one of her features. "You don't really need kids anyways."_

_She sighed picking at her ice cream. "Yeah…"_

_"He's gone now Rose," I tried to make her catch my smile. "He can't hurt you anymore. They got him locked up nice and tight in that prison." Still no response. "Mom and Dad will come around soon. They are too blind to see what has been going on these last few years. Don't worry about them." _

_Rose finally looked up at me. "Are you leaving again?"_

_"I have too." My smile fell. This was why. "You know that. I have to go back to school and get my degree. Once I graduate and get a job you can come live with me okay? Does that sound alright?" I lied to myself realizing I was leaving her alone once more despite my internal promise._

_She nodded looking down. "I guess…"_

_"How's school?" I changed the subject._

_"Stupid." Her fingers moved the spoon around the ice cream glass as she grumbled. _

_I smirked. "It pays off in the long run." I stared off into the small parlor. I grabbed her hand. "Come on let's take a picture before I go back." _

* * *

><p>If you want to know what Keegan looks like he is portrayed by Jack O'Connell (a.k.a James Cook from Skins)<p>

And Rose is portrayed by Behati Prinsloo.

Younger Rose is portrayed by Kiernan Shipka

Lot's of love xoxo-Kate


	28. Chapter 27 Part Two

'Stay indoors'

_Oh god._

'Whatever you do, don't approach them.'

_Oh god._

'Head for the cities.'

_Oh god._

'If anyone you live by shows any of these symptoms report them.'

_Jackson laid dead by my feet his head gashed in by a metal soup pan. I had to kill him. I had too. He was coming at me. He looked like those things on the television with a huge chunk of his shoulder missing and bleeding. Broadcasting was to be ending soon; this was just them trying to hold onto communication as long as they could. The world was destroying itself. The dead rising. Everyone was out on the loose losing their minds. "Oh my god." I cried out running to my room grabbing my coat from my bedroom throwing some clothes in a small bag and fleeing the apartment. It had been seven years since I had last been home and they had been the best seven years of my life. I had graduated collage, moved out of that dingy apartment near my university with Jackson; we relocated into California looking for jobs; me, the lawyer, and him, the still undecided major. The life was great. Rose was getting on well with Martin forever goon in that prison. She mentioned meeting a boy whose name started with a D or was it a T? She was happy, thriving without me. Now the world was going to shit and I was back to where I started; going back home to my sister who needed me. Knowing everything about my sister had its downfalls. I knew she would never get out of this alive and I needed her to stay alive, so here I was revving my engine as fast as I could down the crazy highway to save her. I drove for hours day and night passing me by without a care as I listened to the radio stations go in and out of tune as they lost the service needed to warn people. Civilians were going mad. Prisoners were on the run…_

_My tires screeched to as I came to a halt gripping the steering wheel. He was long gone out of the government's hold on him running a muck in the streets.I could keep driving on this highway and end up in my neighborhood where my sister was, or I could take this exit and finish this business once and for all. My body knew the answer before I did hitting the gas and turning onto the exit ramp. What I was doing was wrong, I knew that, but it had to be done. He did not deserve this life. The streets were almost abandoned by now people taking refuge inside their homes or fleeing to the cities. I turned onto his street going where I had driven with my father years prior. I knew exactly where he lived. Knew exactly where he would be. Knew exactly he would be expecting me. I flung the car door open picking up the bat from the backseat and stormed up to his door way knocking it down with ease with my foot._

_ "I knew you would come for me." His back was to me. He sat in his study room to the left of the front door. "I knew you would want you revenge." He stood up swapping his prison outfit out for a suit before this encounter. He walked calmly towards me then came at me throwing his fist against my face. Blood pooled from my nose instantly at the contact, but it did not stop me from swinging my weapon at him. I cracked my bat upon his face making him crumble to the carpet. It was quiet in his house, but there would be no interruptions. Not even the apocalypse could save him. I swung my bat upon his side causing him to jerk sideways. He rolled away just as the metal hit the ground where he ought to be. His hand was around my wrist tossing the bat aside and bringing me to the ground. His first met my face multiple times, then, suddenly his hands wrapped around my neck. "I remember the first time I ever touched your sister." I flipped around in his grasp feeling my head pounding from loss of oxygen. No doubt my face was the color purple with dark red as a mixture of blood and no air. "She was so young back then, so ripe, so tasty." He licked his lips and vomit had risen in my throat. "She was no good at putting up a fight. It was so easy to overcome her; it was like she begs for people to take control. Her girl hood was so tight back them…she was perfect, that sister Rose of yours, she was my finest."_

_I guided my knee up to meet his groin. Martin slid of me clutching where his pain was as I coughed my bruised dignity away and let my hand slip onto the grip of the bat. I pulled it over knocking it upon his head. "Don't you dare speak her name." I stood up swinging once, twice, three times more his blood littering onto my face. I went to my knees again pressing the bat to his throat. "You ruined her! You ruined my sister! How dare you do such a thing! You sick bastard!" He was gagging on his own blood desperately clinging to his breath. I removed the bat from his throat pulling him up with me by his ensemble. He deserved a death far worse. "You destroyed the purest thing in the world and now this is what you get. You destroy my sister's innocence and think you can get away with it? I am sorry Martin, I am so, so sorry. You mess with my sister you have me to deal with." I glared at him dragging him by a fist full of his bloodied suit. He flailed and twisted but he was no match for an vengeful brother as I moved upstairs into his bedroom where I knew he had a balcony. I could hear them, growling in his backyard, gnawing to get in. I lifted him onto the railing. "I'm fucking Keegan Shepard. I am your worst nightmare." I pushed him releasing his shirt watching him slowly fall to the ground too injured to pick himself up. I turned away hearing him scream as they ripped at his flesh._

_Peace, at last._

_I was driving again trying to wipe his blood off my face. I could feel myself crying realizing the monstrous thing I was capable of doing. I kept telling myself he deserved it, but no one deserved that. I don't think she would notice who's it was. Walker or Martin's did it matter? I just hoped when I finally told her she would appreciate it rather than be angry. I sped down the familiar street peeling into the driveway carelessly parking in front of my old house. "Rose!" my voice echoed around the empty house. "Rose!" What if she was dead? What if I got here too late? It had only taken me a couple hours to get here, but what if it was too long? What if-_

_"Keegan?" she crawled out from behind the wall of the kitchen. I ran to her scooping her up into my arms. She must have been hiding in the pantry judging by the open door of the cupboard. "Mom and Dad are dead…"_

_I furrowed my eyebrows but did not ask instead set her on the ground and pushed her towards the stairs. "Go pack some things and come right back down here." I watched her take the stairs two at a time then disappear into her room. I did not waste anytime throwing various canned goods into a bag. My mind was running mostly fragments of Martin's murder weighing heavily on my brain as I tried to make sure she would never know was crying. There was a loud banging on the door behind me and then the growls crept into my ears. "Rose!" I called out. That glass door would not hold them for long._

_"I'm ready," she was breathing heavily a small backpack over her shoulder. I grabbed her hands and took off out of the front door. "Where are we going?"_

_Where was there to go? "I don't know." I pulled out of our driveway not daring to look back. "What happened to Mom and Dad?"_

_"I-I was just in my room…and." She was shaking. "And I heard this scream from downstairs. When I got down there Mom and Dad tried to…they tried to bite me. I locked them in the basement and hid in the pantry." She was crying now. "I knew you would come back for me."_

_"Because I love you." I tried to smile reassuringly but it seemed too forced. "We have to head for the cities. It's our best shot."_

_"Did you get hurt?" she asked quietly her eyes piercing the blood on the steering wheel from my hands._

_"I fell, that's all." I nodded towards the back seat. "Go lie down in the back." She did not need telling twice as she climbed over the console and into the backseat._

* * *

><p><em>Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Ever city we tried seemed to be overrun or on the verge of it. Everywhere was unsafe. We had nothing left. I tried to keep my faith for Rose, but having her trailing along with me, depending on me to the point that I was looking out for both of us; it was becoming terrifying. We would never survive like this. She would never survive like this. She needed to grow up. All the way across the country we traveled, from Washington now currently walking an abandoned highway somewhere in Georgia. People came across our paths each state we traveled too, but trust was hard to find resulting in fleeing or killing. Everything about our past world was gone. I was losing it. All the things I used to be before this happened was slipping right out of my hands like warm sand on a beach. The grains slowly sliding in the cracks of my spread out fingers back to rejoin its home. My whole world was washing away with he tide taking my sanity with it and if I did not save Rose from the same fate she would be lost too. "You alright?" I looked down at her as she walked close to me. She nodded her head but I caught that slight childish pout on her lips. I knew what I had to do. I knew it would kill me. I knew she would hate me forever but it was necessary. She needed to live. I glanced behind me making sure the roadway was clear of all danger before stopping. "Here," I pulled open a door of a car. "Lie down for a minute I am just going to scavenge some stuff in these cars. Do not move." I bit my tongue taking in all the features on her face. The last time I would ever see it.<em>

_The day she was born was the happiest day of my life. I vowed to protect her like every older brother should. I promised to love her with no intention of ever leaving her feeling lost. I joked with the fact to pick on her to make her be strong, but whenever her petite baby face stared up at me I never had the guts to give her a pull or yank. I was her best friend, her brother, and her guardian. I had to look out for her as she got older; our parents were never ones to pay attention to our needs too involved with each other. We knew they loved us but it was never enough and anyways we had each other, so why did we need them? Staring at her now with those scared wide eyes resembling our mother's was heart breaking. I was leaving my only living family member behind. Though that thought nagged on telling me she would be alright all I could feel was doubt. She would be great without me. Her life would finally flourish, it had too. "Don't go to far." Her quiet voiced whispered as she lay down against the dirty backseat cushion. I nodded too afraid to speak, too afraid to move. Then as if this had never happened I turned around and walked away not daring to ever look back. I couldn't. I could never look back. If I would have looked back I would have ran straight back up that hill, back onto that highway, and right into her trusting arms. I would have not have put my foot down to end her fright in the world. Now was not the time to test my theories in what to do about her long kept innocence, but what choice did I have. We would have died living like we did. I walked into the woods nearby the high way waiting to hear her scream for me, but her shriek never came so I kept moving forward. I wondered what would happen to her. Would she survive? Would she wander? Would she loathe me for forever? I wondered if our paths would ever cross again. She could find me if she wanted too. If she tried, but would she care about me after discovering I left her? Would she believe me dead? I had no idea what was to become of my little sister. My wonder, little, innocent sister._

_What would this world do to her?_

_Days have passed since I left her alone. Most of my subconscious begged to forget her to numb the pain I held inside, but her face always appeared in my dreams when I was capable of sleep. If seeing her pleas for nurturing wasn't enough images of Martin was forcing me to stay awake to not glimpse his bloodied body about to be dropped onto those cannibals. I tried to reason with justice but what I did was not good. Life or death should not be held in my hands. You think you know death, well you don't. Not until you've seen it; really seen it. It gets under your skin and lives inside. All I wanted to do was forget. All I wanted to do was end this war raging in my mind driving me mad with this quiet that surrounded me. Were those biters any different than me? I killed just as they did, I wandered with n sense of placement, I was just as inhumane as they were. I shivered shaking these thoughts away. It was getting colder outside as dark neared and I wondered if she ever got out of that car okay…I hoped she did. I wandered around in these woods with no particular direction listening to sky rumble preparing for rain. Shelter seemed distant and such a lost cause for me. I would have to camp against the grassy, mossy ground once again this night, walkers never passed through these parts much. That made it easy to hide, made it easy to drown myself in quiet sorrow. I nestled against a tree pulling my coat around as water droplets splattered down upon my head. This has what my life has become. Damp, cold, and near insanity._

_"We can patch a route from this path up to the town so people can find it." I heard a voice say through my foggy brain. "Make it small enough so they can't bring their cars near." I shrunk lower into myself feeling wet mud smear down my clothes. Humans. Actual humans were near me something I should be happy about but wasn't. This world changed people so who could I trust. "Do you hear that?" the same man asked and all I could hear was rain splattering against my coat and ground._

_A hand grasped around my shoulders bringing me to my feet. "Found him." A Hispanic man spoke a sly smile on his face as he pushed me forward. I stumbled on my feet at the shove staring up at this patronizing man._

_"Good job Martinez." he smiled looking at me. "Been tracking you for miles," The one who I first heard spoke to me. He was tall and lanky and his eyes pierced me with icy cold fractals. It was the first time I had ever truly been scared._

_"Mm-me?" I stammered straightening up. Why would they track me?_

_He chuckled. "We were searching for weapons when we came across you tracks. We own a town just a couple hours away and we thought someone traveling alone in these cold woods would want a place to stay." He extended his hand. "Call me The Governor." I did not know to trust him, but he had a town. I had no where else to go, no where else to be, no one else to take care of. It was all me in this world; all alone._

_"Kristopher," I lied shaking his hand._

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><p><em>What do you all think of Keegan?<br>Think he's rude for leaving Rose? Smart? Selfish?  
>What about him joining The Gov.?<br>Let me know xoxo -kate_


	29. Chapter 29

Really short chapter I know guys I am sorry. I just added this one in as a filler just so you can see what sort of things are going on post-shot.  
>Hope you still like the story and stuff.<br>Forgive me xoxo-kate

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><p>My hands were moving in and out of my focus like red blurs of dust. It smelled like blood, but it smelled like <em>her <em>blood making sitting there excruciatingly painful. How much could I do to help her? Could I take away her pain like she wished to do to me? Why must I be locked away from her? These questions, my questions were angering me, and at the same time dipping my being in deep sadness. The clicking of metal was not helping setting my teeth in a mode to grind them together, blood like iron was drenching the room with its smell; so much blood. How could that much blood come out of such a small body? Rick would not allow me in the cell she was in while they operated on her. He was afraid I would lose it and mess things up. I tried to stay calm, for the most part. How could you stay calm not knowing is she would be alive in the next hour? My mind was slipping away from me and I tried to keep a hold of it with anger. Anger was all I felt truly. Not at myself for making her doubt my safety, not at her for running out in the open, no, not any of these things. I was angry at her brother. A man I had never met yet this anger flowed out of me like thick smoke from a chimney ready to blow. He knew something was wrong catching my glare occasionally when I was not aimlessly gathering my sanity thinking about absolutely nothing in particular. Glenn had watch over him sense I suddenly was 'in no shape to defend.' My mind was plagued with her death whispering me secrets of her doomed time. Shaking the feelings was not possible always being reminded she was on death row with that constant clinking of utensils. "Can I help you?" his voice; so similar, yet so different.

I looked up meeting his gaze just across the cell block. My face was wrinkled with dried blood; I had not bothered to wash up. "With?"

"Well," he stood up despite Glenn's weariness. "You've been staring at me with an evil glare for the last hour and you look like you might puke."

I pushed up to my feet feeling vulnerable on the ground. "If you did not notice the smell is infecting this room and it doesn't make it better it's _her_ blood."

"Why does her blood make a difference?" Keegan crossed his arms.

"Because…" Why did it matter? It was Rose's blood, didn't that make the difference in the world? She should never be bleeding, she should never be in pain, but how could I describe that to her older brother. He would never understand.

He smiled something similar to Rose. "Loss of words huh?"

"I do not really like smelling my girlfriend's blood to be honest." I snapped back.

Keegan's composer fell as he clenched his fist trembling with anger. His sister's men attention would always set him into a frenzy "Your what?" he stomped towards me but Glenn clicked his gun pointing it at him. Keegan eyed Glenn quickly then halted his movements not wanting to die, at least until his sister was awake.

"My girlfriend." I replied. "Or do I have to spell it out for you." This time I crossed my arms. "Why does it matter to you anyways who she is with? It did not matter to you when you left her in that car."

"Oh so this is what this is about…" he trailed off. I thought it would take a lighter note seeing Keegan as a man who did not seem one to truly start a brawl about trivial matters but his face was red with aggravation. "I did what I did to protect her! I did what I did to save her! She would have died without my help! I did my duty as her older brother!"

"Duty!? Help!? You left her _alone_ in a _car_ by _herself_. That is not how you help someone! She could have died there for all you cared." Glenn backed away. I think he realized his input on this fight would not matter."She cried countless amounts of times to _me_ feeling abandoned by _you_, feeling betrayed, feeling like you never loved her. Who does that to a poor girl?"

Keegan threw his hands in the air. "I wanted her to become independent without me so she would not be such a poor, innocent girl. All she ever was was scared of everything especially with me around to make everything she hated go away. I was right to do what I did."

"You did not help her! She helped herself become independent. Her will power led her to internal strength not your forced solitude!" I was trembling with anger. "She could have chosen to remain a coward, I was always there for her protection and she knew that, yet her she is braver than ever before because of her own choices on what course her life takes."

Keegan raised an eyebrow. "Does she cower?" I shook my head. "Does she have nightmares about Martin?"

"Barley speaks of him." I replied

"Then it worked."

I lost it. Too much emotion built up inside me. Anger at him for putting Rose through so much, grief from Merle, shock for Rose being shot, fright from the baby; I could not contain it anymore. A Mento was just dropped into the Coke bottle I called my emotional barrier. I lunged at Keegan landed my first upon his cheek bone. He staggered backwards holding his face. "If I had never saved her from that car she would have died! It was me who helped her not you! She wanted to fight, her decision worked not your death sentence! You are selfish! You are cruel! She will never forgive you!" I punched him again catching his refusal to fight back. "Fight back you coward! Fight back!" He was on the ground blood oozing from his nose as he continued to take these hits from me. Why couldn't he just hit me and fight back? Why was he so content with no defending himself? I jerked backwards collapsing to the ground breathing heavily feeling moisture coming from my eyes. I wiped them away quickly. He would never see me cry.

"Because…" he spit to the side a puddle of blood. "I would not be able to stop." He pushed off the ground handling his bruising face with ease as if the pain was neutral. "I do not think Rose would want me killing her boyfriend." His hand wrapped around mine and pulled me up. "I know you must be feeling a lot because I am too, but we need to handle things calmly until she wakes up. I hope you can understand why I did what I did. I would not want us to not get along because Rose would not want that." His grip on my released. "Haven't you made a decision you regretted?"

Yes. The same one you did…

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><p>Her face was pale; white as a sheet resembling a ghost. Slender, moving with the wind carried by whispers of sorrow. She wobbled slightly sipping water with caution trying to stop shaking. It was almost as if she would blow like dust away with the catching breeze. "Daddy said she is going to be okay." Beth's mout quivered up at me dark circles under her eyes.<p>

"Thank you Beth," I patted the blonde girl on the shoulder. "You have done so much."

"I am just happy Rose and I have to same blood type." She gulped down the rest of the water. "Takes a lot out of me though...I feel like I may pass out."

I frowned. "Go lie down, you've given a lot."

"No," Beth shook her head toying at the empty cup on its side. "I need to help my father clean her up and find more medical supplies." I found myself lowering my bottom onto the bench table's seat along side her. "Have you talked to her brother?"

"Well...sort of...but not about that." My fingers folded over each other as my eyes darted everywhere but her sad face. "I was hoping he would never have to find out but that can never be."

She chuckled coughing right after to sound caught in her throat. "Not even an idiot would not think she is with child. He is bound to have known. I heard you two fighting, that is why I asked."

"Yeah well him and I will probably have a rough start since his refusal to actually care about his sister is lacking." I shook my head looking back at Beth who was starting to cry. "What?"

"I am just so sad." Oh no.."I mean I know she is going to be okay but I am scared about what happens when she wakes up. How is she going to take everything? How is she going to get through it all? So much stuff is going to be handed to her when she is awake, how will she cope?" she jumped upon my body wrapping me in a hug. "I hope you know the two of you mean the world to me. You are my family now. Since Maggie is always busy with Glenn Rose has really become my big sister...you were just apart of the package. I do not know what I will be able to do if you two leave me."

I did not know what to do, so I just reached my hand up and patter her shoulder like Rose would do sometimes to the young blonde girl. "Rose cares about you a lot too Beth. She loves you like her own and so do I." I looked around awkwardly feeling her grasp on me leave as she retreated back to her seat. "Just don't cry, don't do that."

Beth laughed wiping her eyes. "I wonder if she'll kick Keegan out of here." her shirt collar was wet. "Those Woodbury residents seem to love him though."

My chin fell into my hands as I grumbled. "I don't see it."

"How do you do it?" she asked a serious blanket of a demeanor falling over our conversation. "How can you keep you feelings so locked away?"

"With tons of practice..." I looked away. "I am basically a veteran at it." I had only lost control of this hold on my emotions when Rose was with me, I did not plan on losing it in front of anyone else. I did not plan on losing it ever especially in front of her. I was her strong Daryl that never cried, but I knew she would not judge if it ever did happen again like Merle's death.

"Can you teach me?"

I turned my gaze to Beth. "It's not something you are taught. When you live a life full of nothing but emotional abuse, disappointment, abandonment, loneliness...death. Your walls get built pretty high."

"Did Rose help you get your down?" Always the romantics.

"I am still trying to figure that out myself Bethy..."


	30. Chapter 30

Asleep.

You don't feel pain or hunger, or loneliness, or bitterness. In sleep you can drown in false euphoria, and when you awaken, you just don't care about anything.

I wish that could have happened to me. I wish I could have awoken without one single care, but all I felt was anger at my stupidity. The pain in my side jerked me from slumber, ripped me from peace. My eyes felt groggy and heavy on my face and it was hard to get them open. Light was passing through the crevices of my lids cursing my pupils to hide from such a sight. After a few minutes of squeezing my eyes shut, opening them, and shutting them again I finally adjusted to my surroundings. Grayness surrounded me. Grey walls, grey sheets, grey everything, except the color red was seeping into my vision like a leaking drain seeping into my eyes shattering the monotone grey. There was no red except in my memories. I heard breathing and tried my best to move my head or body but he reached out and stopped me from movement. He sat by the side of my bed looking down up my face with remorse. "Are mom and dad here too?" I asked him my voice cracked and quivered.

He shook his head. "No," a hard surface was pressed into my palm. I curled my fingers around it discovering it was his hand. "You are not dead Rose." I knew he was not dead, but why was he here? The only way he could be here is if he came back and he would never have done that...If he came back to me why did he leave me in the first place?

"Get out."

"What?" he was taken aback by the power behind my voice. Surprised I was even capable of mustering that much hate in a sentence after just awakening. "I-I just came back…I saw-I ran here…"

I turned my face away from him. "I said get out Keegan." He did not speak as he stood up. I knew he must be upset with me for his eyes were already puffy from previous crying. Keegan always was a crier. "Tell Daryl to come here." He must have nodded or something for his presence left the atmosphere. I am surprised Rick allowed him to stay in the prison with us seeing as we kicked out plenty of people to create a town. Perhaps Daryl convinced him to let Keegan remain here until I have my say about him.

"Rose…"

"Daryl I am so sorry." I began as he rushed towards me. "I should have stayed put. I just got so worried after you said all that stuff and I could not fine you and I thought everything was okay. I was so dumb Daryl."

He gave me a tired smile dropping down to his knees to be eyes level with my horizontal body. "It was my fault sweetheart. I should have stayed put too." His hand sneaked its way into mine. "We both got worked up and things happened. Not everything had a cause. I am just happy you are alive and awake. I love you." He leaned forward a bit to peck my lips.

His mouth felt feeble, his body seemed weak. He had been crying, but he would never admit to it. "How long was I asleep?"

"About a week and few days…" The bags under his eyes were obvious and his body language was droopy. He did not dare sleep while I was. "Rose," he sighed sadly. "I wanted to be the one to tell you this, but…" he gulped looking downward figuring the best way to speak his words. His mouth hung loosely open before he shut up then opened it again. I knew what he had to say was not going to be pleasant judging by his incomprehensible word formation of the subject. Why would he tell me such news after waking up? Isn't there a rule about breaking news to someone after a certain amount of time has passed? "When you got shot…the bullet it-it penetrated you side. Luckily it did not hit any organs, but Hershel… He-He thinks that since there was such a harsh entry of the weapon that the trauma caused you to miscarry. There was so much blood on you we could not tell." I stared at him. A blank, emotionless stare. Miscarriage. I had a _miscarriage_. Our baby-_my baby-_was gone forever. Who could kill a baby? "Rose." His voice was extremely sad. I wondered if he felt the same pain I did. "Are you okay?" I wonder if he knew what it felt like to have something die inside you. "Say something." I wonder if he thought it was my fault. "Say something Rose, please."

I shifted trying to turn on my good side so I may curl up into a ball, but pain coursed through my body like wildfire lighting every nerve with agony. I could feel myself shaking from this pain. Was it external or mental? Was it the wound that hurt or my heart? I could not trigger point my place of oncoming distraught all I knew it was causing me to cry. Like a dam bursting the tears flooded from my eyes. I tried to keep a composer, tried to remain content with neutral emotions, but I was never good at it, never as good as Daryl. I always cried just like my brother. My face was drenched in my own body fulled sadness as he just watched me break down until I felt like nothing more could come out of my eyes. They still came, even when the last drop was thought to be spent more came diving out of my tear ducts making my nose run, my throat dry, and my body ache with despair. His fingers toyed with the skin of my neck and hands doing what he thought best to calm me. I think it worked or at least I hoped it was. My heart beats felt slower inside my cracking chest, my breathing was dragged out, and my feet had stopped curling and uncurling with protest to move despite my leg refusal to want to move. "I don't know what to say." I brought my sleeve up wiping away my tears. "What could I say? I could never raise a child in this anyways? No, because I could have and I should have! I deserved that child for all the shit this world and the world before has done to me! I deserved that sliver of hope, that gleaming ray of happiness, the pure sensation of something loving you unconditionally." I shook my head sniffing in the process. "No one deserves to lose their their baby. No one..."

"I do not blame you Rose for it." he blinked looking at the ground. "Maybe it just was not the right time for us to settle down. We have the whole future ahead of us to get over this."

I gritted my teeth. "You don't understand. It was not living inside you."

"Don't you dare tell me I don't understand." he glared and for the first time I felt his anger towards me, something that was rare. "I just lost my brother and now my own. That was my child too, not just yours. You of all people should know how shitty my life was before this apocalypse. You know how much abandonment and abusive plagued my childhood. This miscarriage just reminded me that people never do truly stay with you even when you think they're safe." he huffed out air away from me then turned back to my face. My eyes quivered looking at his tired eyes, how much pain was it to hold back those tears? "I was so excited to have this baby for the first time something would be mine forever and could never leave me because it would always feel loved and cherished and never neglected. I would give this childhood the best damn childhood it ever had so it would never have to be sad. You don't think I am truly devastated by it's untimely death? You don't know how hard it is to keep a composer knowing it was planned to take this child away from me-away from _us._ Because you and I...we made that baby. _We_ don't deserve this loss. _We_ don't deserve this at all." he leaned forward kissing my cheek slowly, hesitantly. "I love you. I loved that baby, but _this_ is not going to bring it back. You told me when Merle passed away to be strong, and I was because of you. This next week, month, year, I know it will be hard for you-hard for _us _but we have more things to worry about. We all got things to worry about." he tried to smile. "You are so brave sweetheart, I know you will be okay. I know we'll both be okay. We'll need to lean on each other a lot though."

"I love you too..." I reached out grabbing a tuff full of his hair in a hug I was not sure how to get through to him with. "And for the sake of our survival I'll need to be selfish and not wallow of this bump." I sighed. "I was just looking forward to it. I am just sad."

"We can have more kids Rose!" he exclaimed. "We'll buy a big house with loads of bedrooms and have little babies to fit in every one of those bedrooms. They'll each have their own bikes and we'll get a dog and have a garden in the back where we can grow some cucumbers because I know how much you love those." His voice cracked."We'll wait until we have all the kids we want until we get married so each one of them can be in it." I blinked his words burrowing into my brain. For memory reasons.

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Why did you tell me all this now? Why not wait?"

"Hershel said to wait until you were on your feet again..." his hand fiddled with mine. "I wanted to now so you know sooner and can grieve quicker while you are disabled for the moment. When Merle died we went right into war, but now you're on bed rest until you are healed. I think it will help you get over the loss."

"And you?"

He shrugged. "I think I feel sad, but I was never good with my emotions. You know that...Being concerned about you really helps get my mind off of everything." My mind trailed off hearing him ramble on about the new residents. Keegan was all I could think about. Why had he came back? After all his time waiting out there he was so close to me. Was he in Woodbury while I was? Was he even in Woodbury? Too much was being thrown at me. Everything was flying at me at back breaking speed it was hard to comprehend it all. My emotions refused to set in. Was I happy? Sad? Hurt? Angry? It was all spinning around in my mind each accusation more irrational than the last one.

"Are you alright?" he slid his thumb around my thumb hooking and unhooking our phalanges in a rhyme. I just nodded closing my eyes. What was even possible to say in this point of time? My responses seemed forced and almost unconditional so why bother hurting myself to try and talk. The minute my diaphragm began to work so did the pain in my side. All I wanted to do was sleep; sleep and never wake up until I forget all the bad stuff that has circled around me. Not even minutes after learning of my dead child I had to deal with the endless amount of internal questions I had concerning my assumed lost brother. How was I expected to react? Daryl must have understood my expression though. He crawled onto the bed curling his weary body, the best he could, around me not dare to touch anywhere near my wounds. This would be the first time he slept since I was asleep, this would be the first time I would not sleep since I was asleep.


	31. Chapter 31

Those slim, white finger pads guided up my spine sending the slight chills down the skin of my arm as she guided me upward into a sitting position. Pain poked and picked at my body making me wince unconditionally ever few seconds. I tried to ignore it, but that sick part of me craved for it to take my mind away from the battle going on inside my head. I was always confused, always angry now. I tried to focus my attention on one thing but it was hard, since my awakening a million things were thrown into my life. Loss of a child, Keegan had somehow reappeared in my life, Philip was nowhere to be found, Woodbury residents were residing in the prison…No wonder people had left me alone most of the time to gather my thoughts. Daryl and Beth were the only ones that came to visit me while I was on bed rest for days I could not fathom to count. Always moaning in pain, always turning with agony. Daryl's visits shortened. He was too pained to even look at me injured and distraught, too concerned with figuring out what t do with my brother, too busy with cleaning up this mess, but he always fell asleep beside me at night whispering sweet nothings into my ear as if they even mattered to me anymore. I knew I still loved him but something inside me was twisting and wringing out my heart making it hard to breathe even. Once I got past this I would be myself again; I had to be…Beth on the other hand has gotten closer to me than ever before. We were sisters now; there was no doubt in my mind otherwise. My blood levels dropped that was no mystery when The Governor chose to given one last battle cry in shooting me, yet where would it be found to replace to loss? Beth was there to help me. She remembered my blood type from the farm after I volunteered to help donate blood to Carl and as it turned out she had the same one as me. We were blood sisters. I think Beth and I were closer than Maggie and she was. "Are you sad?"

"Yes." Was it even a realistic question? Everyone was sad these days. Just when you think you are happy someone dies...Her fingers ran through my hair taking up strands to braid them together. I knew my hair was long now as it reached past my butt. It was mostly always tied back, Carol always snapped at me to cut it short like hers so the walkers could not reach. She was just jealous suppose of the long dirtied blonde length she could never have. I should not be talking of this or her so badly but countless minutes spent up her alone or even with Beth led to gossip.

She twisted the hair. "Are you angry?"

"Yes."

"It will all make sense in the end." She was now eighteen much wiser than I was at her age. "Have you spoken to your brother yet?" I shook my head in her hands. "He asked about you."

"What did he say?" My interest was focused on this.

She gave my hair a tight pull branching strands over one another. "Asked if you were still angry with him. Asked if he could see you. Asked if Daryl and you were together. Asked an awful lot…" she trailed off waiting for me to butt in, but I never did. "He is living in D block with the other residents of Woodbury since he knows them a little bit more than us. He helps take care of kids too and he tries to find food outside the fence. He has really adapted to us. Him and Daryl got into a little fight though…Keegan kind of found out about you-know-what and blew up on Daryl saying you were too young to be doing something like than with someone older than you."

"He has no right to defend me after leaving me." I glared into nothingness as I felt Beth's fingers getting closer to the bottom of my hair.

"Didn't you say you missed him? That you needed him?" I felt her finger tickle my ears as she gathered up a strand.

I bit my cheek. "I thought I did until he actually came back. I realized all he ever did was abandoned me that day on the highway because he was tired of caring about me. I realized he was in Woodbury this whole time and he must have known I was in there too. I would be better off if I still believe him dead."

"Don't say that." Her hands fell away from my head as she finished. "Talk to him and sort your feelings."

I did not respond as her hand fell against the small of my back and the other grasped lightly around the forearm. I was not big for the amount of time I suspected I had been pregnant, but then again I had no idea when it was conceived. I knew I was tiny; who was not underweight in the apocalypse? So perhaps the prominent bloating in my tummy would fade sooner than it came. This expanding abdomen was just another reminder of the dead child inside me. Beth helped me up anyways wrapping my arm around her shoulder until my feet figured out how to work. They felt like noodles the minute they touched the cement ground and I was holding onto Beth for life support. In all honesty my leg wound hurt far worse than the puncture to my side. The bullet lodged itself in my rib cage proving to be mostly treatable. "Thanks." I mumbled leaning slightly into Beth while gripping the side of the cell door frame. Her hold on me faltered as she slowly pulled away trying to rehabilitate my skill of walking. I applied most of the pressure to my uninjured leg as I took a step out of the cell feeling almost free, but it was becoming hard to breathe standing up and blood rushed down from my head. I ignored the pain in my body savoring the fact I was alive and walking. Isn't that what mattered? I gave Beth a dumb smile before grabbing hold of any solid surface I could to walk down the stairs. I wanted to see people, to hear people, to just be by people. Solitude was never for me.

It was the first time I had seen him smile sincerely since I had woken up. "You good?" was all he asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist to ease the walking process. Even though we still fell asleep next to one another seeing him now felt so much more sentimental.

"I will be," I replied wrapping my hand around his torso to hold myself steady. We had to be okay for the sake of my mind. I would lose it if he was not so strong willed beside me, and I pushing strength so he may be strong. "Where is he?"

"In D block with the kids." He replied helping me limp out of the cell block. "He is helping everyone ease into this place. They look up to him really because he's the only one from Woodbury taking charge in anything."

I gritted my teeth falling into the prison lunch tables. "Have you found Philip yet?"

"No," he shook his head sitting beside me. "He slaughtered most of his soldiers a little bit away from here. Including Andrea and Milton…"

"Milton?" my voice stuck in my throat. "He killed Milton? But I-I thought they…oh god." My face collapsed into my hands. So much death.

"He turned from a wound to his stomach and attack Andrea. Michonne killed her." I expected to feel satisfaction but just as I felt when Shane died, all I felt was a twinge of sadness. Milton had given me so much hope for this child, and my hate for Andrea would not let me forget she was just a human like me. They were still human being, and as much as despising drove people, nobody ever deserved death, except The Governor. "He wants to talk to you. Explain. I listened to him and what he told me made a lot of sense. He had reasons behind his actions. As much as it makes me angry he just left you there I put it aside because if he had not left you there we would have never met." I picked my head up to face him.

"I just-I don't...I don't know," my expression softened.

He stood up. "I'll go fetch him." I watched him leave me inside here. I looked around. Where was everybody? I knew Beth was somewhere around, but that did not explain the unnerving silence. This place was a ghost town, not even Judith was making a sound wherever she may be. Was everyone okay? "She is right through there." I straightened up as best as I could feeling my side stretch with pain.

Daryl did not enter with him, but instead turned around and went in the direction he came. His walk was staggered stepping towards me; something happened. He never walked like that. He has never looked so sorrowful or guilty. _He should feel guilty._ Keegan smiled sheepishly at me as he sat down across the table. "Rose that day on the highway…I only did it to protect you." He wasted no time. "I knew you would never survive if you stayed with me. You depended on me too much, so what if I died? What would you do? I couldn't handle the thought of you being scared while you died. You needed to grow up and me being with you was stopping that."

I stared at him drinking up his explanation before reaching across the table and slapping him. My sophisticated approached was ruined as the blazing agony burned in my leg. "You left me! All alone in a car! Because what? Because you were tired of taking care of me! This is total bull shit! You abandoned me because you are selfish not because you loved me. I could have died in that car if I had not been rescued by Daryl. If that was not enough that learning my own brother ditched me the fact you were in Woodbury makes me hate you even more. Do you know where I was? What he did? What he was thinking of me? Did you see him pin Merle and Daryl against each other? Or was you choice to forget me easier than you thought?"

"I thought about you every day I was there!" He stood up slamming his fist against the table.

I winced in pain as I followed the same action. "Then why did you never come back! I sat in that car counting the cigarette holes in the ceiling until I could hear you voice again. After the third night I knew something happened to you." I slowly sat back down roaring with internal pain. "I cried endlessly, wishing you would just come back to me. You promised me you would never leave me..."

Something in his eyes shook like the old him from a different world long forgotten. Tears spurted from his eyes the same color as mine. "I killed him Rose. I beat him senseless and fed him to those monsters. My ghost won't let me forget." he put his face in his hands trembling with this corked screw sadness now set free of its bottle. "I-I could not handle the guilt of having to kill all those people who scared you, who threatened you. I had to kill them, I had to kill them, for you. I couldn't live with myself anymore. I had to leave you, so I didn't have to kill anyone anymore. I couldn't look back. I wandered around never daring to look back because if I did I knew I would run back to you. I had to forget or my demons would drown me." he reached out to touch my hand but it sprung back against my chest held by my other hand."You're afraid of me aren't you?"

"You've changed Keegan," I whispered to his darkened eyes. "What happened to after you left?"

"So have you." he wiped his face with the back of his hand. "I knew he would be out of that prison. I had to finish him off knowing there was no chance he would ever be able to come back to hurt you like her did. I killed him and spent those long nights driving with his blood on my hands trying to bargain with justice. Those people we came across, the ones you always thought were so nice? I had to kill them too. They threatened you, they could have hurt you like he did. There's nothing in the world I would not have done for you. I knew my sanity was making an exit. I did not want to turn into what I had became and that meant making sure you never had to kill anything. You would have died if you never learned to protect yourself, and you never had any means to protect yourself with me around. I had to leave you to save you from _me." _his breathe shook as he took a deep inhale searching in my expression. "The Governor found me after following my tracks and brought me back to Woodbury with him. They beat me up pretty bad for their sort of 'initiation' to see if I was worth their time-" he reached down and tapped his leg. "-they messed up my knee pretty bad with a crowbar, but I'll live." That's why he walked like a stranger. "I knew we were going to battle with a prison, but I had no idea you were here. I had no idea you were in Woodbury once, trust me on that. That night he made Daryl fight against his brother I was on look-out on the other side where it was held. I had no idea Rose. I would have helped if I had known." he glanced away as I sat there wanting to listen more and more to feel like I believed him. I wanted to forgive him, but he made it so damn hard. "I saw you get shot. I was in a car ahead of his when he wanted to drive away. I saw you run outside. I had to leave them after that, so I let some other guy drive the car away and lied low in the grass until the gunfire stopped. That's when you went down. I had to help you." I blinked staring at his face for seconds, minutes, an eternity. "Say something."

"What do you expect me to say? It's okay that you left me for your mental health vacation?" I raised my eyebrow. "This explanation, this _return_ will never make up for those nights I spent thinking you would come back."

Keegan sighed. "I know I did wrong, but just find it in you to think this over and try to forgive me." I let my hands fall gracefully onto the table again for him to scoop them back up again. He would not let me avoid his love for me. "Little sister, your eyes are so cold, so sad...what troubles you?" My eyes flickered down to our hands. His able to wrap around both my intertwined fingers like a blanket, a safe blanket. "I have learned of you miscarriage."

My lip twitched downward as I looked back up at him. "And?"

"I care that you get to be alright." his bright smile beamed at me taking me by surprise. His world was brighter than mine.

Much brighter than mine. "I do not need your help." I pulled my hands away from him.

"Do you still believe in in love?"

I stood up glaring at him. "Not yours." His questions, such strange questions were taking turns I could not comprehend nor follow. He was trying to prove that he was still that same Keegan as before, but I know he has changed. We both have changed. That's what this world, that is what death did to you. Changed you. Everyone was changing, everyone was losing that humane part of them to survive. Keegan was my humane tie to that old world and once he left me everything I thought I was before slipped away like fog up into the morning air. He was the reason I had become so cold. He was the reason I had turned into someone I could not recognize anymore. I had no idea who I had become. This girl she was not me, this body, this brain could never have belonged to me. I was a whole different person now. How old was I even? When was my birthday? What was my mothers name? What was my favorite color? What did it mean to feel love? All these once known things were long forgotten into an oblivion. I was not Rose anymore. I was not that innocent, pure, naive, stupid, depended, _scared_ little girl; I was a stranger wearing someone else's skin, thinking someone else thoughts. This; this was me now. This was who I was going to be then if I could not take another path of choice.

He grabbed my arm stopping me from leaving him. "Rose...I still love you. I am still your older brother."

I yanked my arm away from him walking towards the door that led to the showers. "Well, I am not your little sister anymore..." I stormed off into the tombs the pair of scissors in my hand after grabbing them off the counter holding boxes of food from Woodbury. They clattered into the sink as I gripped the side of it fighting back that older version of me begging to come back out of that mental door I had locked it behind. She was never coming back. _I had nothing left to lose._ I pulled the scissors up the length of the braid and slowly squeezed my fingers together cutting off the beautiful overlapping hair Beth had created. I heard it thud onto the ground feeling the tickle of shortened hair fall against my neck and shoulders. I brought my head up catching the eye of myself in the dainty, stained mirror in front of me. My face was pain despite the bright southern sun, my cheek bones were prominent from such malnutrition, my one shiny hair was dull, but it was my once pleasingly happy eyes that had vanished. Such sad eyes, such cold eyes, such new eyes.

This girl, this _stranger..._

She is_ me._

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><p>Comment and tell me what you all think please.<p>

What are your thoughts on Rose's character changes? Keegan's explanation? Daryl's place in all of it? Beth taking care of her? Woodbury residents?


	32. Chapter 32

Sorry I haven't updated in such a long time.

I've been trying to handle things going on at the moment and it just takes a lot out of me, and it is hard to find time to update since now I am back to writing out the chapter which before they were already pre-written from a while back.

Sorry once more.

Love you all

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><p><em>'Her vitals seem to be alight from what I can see…her heart rate is normal. The only problem she can encounter is a slight headache from the fall.'<em>

"_Thanks…_" I squeezed my eyes shut tight at his voice. Needle like pain prodded at my leg and chest making it cave in on itself. My stomached burned with some unknown feeling. I was agonized by this paralyzing pain always cursing me with the slightest misstep. I knew they knew I was awake now, for their conversation had stopped.

My eyes slowly lifted up. "You're awake!" I was in an infirmary from the looks of it, somewhere I had never been. It was strange being in a hospital like setting during the apocalypse. "I'm Alice." My eyebrows furrowed at her name. "I came in with the Woodbury lot…" she sensed confusion. "I knew your brother…" My face crinkled even more. "Kristopher?" I relaxed my confused features to just stare at her. The nerve of him… "Oh god you have amnesia! I am so stupid!"

"No, no I-I just am a little foggy." I reached over to touch her wrist from hitting herself in the face. "I am R-!"

"Rose." She beamed. "Milton told me all about you, and Daryl here."

I did not glance at him to my side. "Milton?"

"Yeah we worked together while in Woodbury. He taught me everything a need to know to take care of people, and also I read a couple things. I am a quick learner when showed what to do." Alice was proud of herself something that almost seemed lacked in her bright personality. "He told me about how you came from a prison, and The Governor kept you hidden away, but you escaped, and he also told me about…about the baby." She looked down.

I took a sharp breath watching shame drift over her features. "Do you miss him?"

"Of course," she brought her eyes up to mine. "He was a good person."

"He was a great one."

She scratched the back of her head. "I found you in the bathroom passed out. You feinted I suppose from stress, or dehydration, I can't tell. Do you remember cutting off your hair?" I nodded. "You hit your head, but other that you should be perfectly normal."

I finally looked over at Daryl then back to the dark haired girl, at least it seemed dark to me. "Alice, do you mind giving Daryl and I a second alone?"

She nodded and scurried to the door. "Just holler if you need anything."

"Care to explain?" one of his hand sat under his nose where his lip and skin met while the other massaged his temple near his right eye; he was angry.

"About?"

"I heard everything Rose." His hands clutched themselves to the side of the bed I laid in. "You need to stop this."

"I can't." my voice cracked and I regretted letting the worlds leave my mouth.

He sighed hearing my quivering emotions. "I understand that you are very upset with everything going on, but pushing people who love you away is not going to fix anything you feel. When Merle died you told me to be strong, and how you would do anything to take my pain away. I am sitting here begging to do the same, yet you shove me away like some plague. You told me to not wallow in my own grief well now I am telling you the same. We don't get time to be upset." He grabbed my hand. "I love you Rose. Isn't that enough to make you keep fighting."

"I don't even know what love is anymore…" I gritted my teeth yanking my hand away from him. "You think I would sit here and take advice from you? Do you choose to forget that fact you left me just like Keegan did? Or was that some plan to not feel guilty? Because I don't think you quite understand how hurt someone can be when they're left all on their own to figure out why someone, who they thought loved them, would ever abandoned them. I am sick of everyone treating me like some girl who will just forgive them if they walk all over me, treating me like I will be okay if they just waltz out of my life then decide to rejoin it. People don't deserve to do that! People can't just come into your life, make and impact on it, then leave without a slight goodbye." I felt proud at my refusal to cry out with anger. "I have lost everything I once knew about myself because of you, because of Keegan, because of everything in this god damn apocalypse. Sometime I forget I am even human and not just like those things outside the fence. I am just like _the walking dead_."

"You aren't like those things Rose." His lip quivered. "You can come back from this trauma, I know you can. You aren't too far gone." His hand squeezed mine. "Don't leave me."

I turned to him. His sweaty face covered in despair that came with dark hair clouded eyes. The sadness that drank up those pupils of his yearning to hear his brother, hold our child, live in peace…all these things I wanted also. I wanted to go back to how everything used to be, but my heart could not repair itself. My brain told me to shut him out, to shut Keegan out, to shut everything out to survive. I was playing tug-a-rope with my sanity; teeter tottering on the verge of that vast ocean of breaking my being apart. I clung to his fingertips trying to hold on for the sake of his heart because I knew he needs me to help him get better. It was hard to hold out just for _him._ He deserved better than what I had to offer, with my banged up heart and wounded soul. I had let myself slip away from an older version of me I knew that could never come back, so how could I change for him. How could I ever make him satisfied with me? I could never give him to love Daryl longs for. Not with this home wrecked personality. "I don't know what to do Daryl."

"Let me love you. Let me care for you, and everything else will come back. Accept that it is okay to let people in." he must knew everything on the art of shutting people out.

"They'll just leave again…"

His grip on my hand tightened. "I will never leave you again. There is nowhere else I would rather be than with you. I know you may not trust my promise, but the truth is there."

I glared off into the room. "I can't love you Daryl. It not possible."

He was silent for a moment drinking in the words I just rambled out. "Please…Don't do this. Not now. We-we can fix this, but only together." So much pain in his voice.

"I am sorry." My voice held no sympathy. I was disgusted with what I had become. "But you deserve better than me."

"You are the best thing that ever happened to me Rose!" he was pacing around my bed now clanking around the concrete floor with anxiety of loneliness. "You made my life worth living, you made me open up, you made me a better person! You made me love again, you made you happy! You are everything I deserve!"

"It's too hard for me."

"Too hard! How is it too hard to love me! You used to do it all the time how is it hard to feel that passion again?" he shouted and I could hear him breaking down.

I squeezed my eyes tight. "It's hard to feel anything anymore. Please Daryl, just leave me be. I need to be alone."

"Don't! Don't say that! You don't mean it!" he was screaming and kicking things around the room littering it with various medical tools Alice was cleaning.

As I thought her name the door opened and she walked in. "Daryl, maybe it's best if you let her rest. She's very fatigued…" I watched him hunch away without a world. My head was spinning, my chest was burning, and my breaths felt hard to get out. What had I just done? I gave away the only good thing in my life. _He deserved better that you. _But I deserved him right? _He could never love a girl so damaged and banged up_. I could get better, with him, for him. "He really does love you."

"You don't think I know that." I spat out at her.

Alice shook her head. "People leave, people die, bad things happen to good people we can't explain, no one gets what they want, hearts get broken, dreams get crushed, and hope always seems impossible, but you fight. You fight because you have too; you fight because you _need _to. Even though you feel like you aren't important if you were to be lost someone out there cares so much about you they would be just as you had been if you were lost. Just as lonely, just as depressed, and just as insane. You think you don't need anyone, but people need you Rose. Daryl needs you and deep inside you empty heart you need Daryl. You need him to sew up all those ripped up seems, you need him to nail back together the broken pieces of your heart, you need him to tape up your tattered trust, you need him to love you until you are you again."

"You don't know anything." I glared away.

"No," she tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. "But I know enough to tell you to suck up this mopey attitude and get back out there and do something about figuring out your life. You are only mad when you allow yourself to be so. Forgive you brother, love Daryl, and most of all stop feeling so guilty." I flicked my gaze up at her. "I see it in your eyes, the shame. I used to have to same gaze when my father died because of me."

My expression softened. "How did you get over it?"

"I realized that being alone just makes me more pissed off at myself. I hated my whole existence because of that. But I found out soon enough there is a choice on whether or not you want to shut down or move on, and it is up to you when you choose." She gave me a small smile. "Let it go. Holding onto things for a long time isn't healthy, causes wrinkles form stress."

I laughed for the first time in a while.

I laughed so hard I began to cry, which soon turned into a sob, which then turned into blubbering out everything to Alice.

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><p>Just an f.y.i. Alice is a character in The Walking Dead graphic novels. I loved her character so much I decided to bring her in.<p> 


	33. Chapter 33

"You shouldn't be out here." I turned to squint at him walking towards me, that once clean, shaven face looking warned and tired almost sun burnt from the lack of hat he had. The gloves were sticking out of his back pocket instead of that sheriff's badge; he was no longer a policeman.

I turned my face back towards the farthest away fence. "Neither should you."

His body made the fence groan with the slight touch. "I guess we were both never good at listening."

"What's growing out there?" the safety of my gun clicked on and off between my thumb and finger, something out of boredom.

"It is all starting to look the same to me, ask Hershel." I turned back to Rick smiling.

"You're a terrible farmer."

He chuckled kicking his feet at the cement ground scattering small pebbles of gravel into the air a serious expression dropped upon his face. "You know…Judith kind of could see you as her mother as it is…If you want you could ju-!"

"Rick." I reached out and grabbed his shoulder so he could look at me. "I could never do that to Lori. Judith is her baby girl, her miracle; I need to respect her memory. Thank you though, for trying to make me feel better. I know it is hard for you to do anything to help so this is much appreciated, for now though, let me handle my emotions on my own. That is all I want; all I need."

"No one wants to be alone." With that he turned away from me and stalked off leaving me standing alone at the fence. Of course I did not want to be alone, but being around people made me uncomfortably sad. Especially around Daryl. It had been a while since my feint in the bathroom, and every time I meet him he wants to fight about helping me. I do not need help. I need him to understand I do this to not hurt him while I am riding out this grieving process. I knew I might be being over dramatic from the words of Alice, but maybe I needed to be for my own sake. Exclude myself as Rick would do to not endanger anyone else who stepped into my raging path. I do not know how long it has been since that day my old self detached itself from me along with my long hair; days, weeks, months…I knew Beth kept count on a board starting over once there was an accident. Thirty days since the last one, this was mine in the bathroom. Since then everyone seemed cozy even though our once known enemies were living beside us. Woodbury residents littered up our prison invaded our home. They knew I disliked them, but they thought since they had Keegan, who they referred to as _Kristopher, _and also Tyreese, the one who asked to live here a while back ago despite his friends wife death inside, these people though they were okay. As if they did not shoot up our house with a vengeance. Beth told me these people were different, that The Governor killed all those soldiers, but I did not want to believe her. They still never helped me escape. They still pinned Daryl against his brother. They still did not stop him from killing my baby.

"Want some?" A cup tapped my shoulder. "You've been out here for an hour."

It did not feel like an hour. It felt like seconds. People were scattered around the courtyard talking, eating, thinking, rocking. I turned my head to see Rick now out in the field farming away at crops, speaking with Carl, and examining a pig. Where had time gone? "Thanks." I took the water from Alice.

She tilted her head to the side. "How are you feeling?" I shrugged. "I have some nice breathing technics and methods to release some wanted dopamine if you would life. It might make you feel better."

"No thank you Alice. It's really quite hard to move around," I frowned.

"Oh…" she trailed off her eyes lingering down to my stomach. It was still as big as it was last month, maybe possibly a little bit bigger. I tried to calculate how far along I had been since conception but it was nearly damned impossible. "I can check down there if you want make sure everything is…okay." I knew what she thought. I thought it every day. That the baby was fully formed and miscarried caused it to turn inside me. I think I would have been dead by now if that was possible. Everything it once was, was now lost. It's half-grain of rice fingernails, its plum sized feet, its liquid eye-sockets, which when opened would revel to have Daryl's beautiful dark blue eyes, it would have been prefect…and now it's gone forever.

"Please." I squeezed my eyes shut. "Just stop talking."

"Come on," she smiled trailing her hand down the small of my back pushing me away from the fence back into humanity. "Daryl's leaving."

I stopped. "What?"

"Yeah. Him and some others are going on a run later today. I thought you would want to know." She gave me another push to keep walking.

"Why didn't he come tell me?"

"Rose." She giggled as if it was a laughing matter. "I don't know if you still use this sort of lingo…but you kind of broke up with him."

I glared at her. "No I didn't. I just-I only…I just told him I need some alone time."

"Rose. You told him you don't love him anymore." This time she frowned at me. Why was it so hard to remember these things? Why was it hard to figure out how long I had last spoken to him? "You do know he leave every night to find us food?"

"I can't keep track of time anymore…" I looked around for him spotting him speaking to man I had no idea what his name was.

She smiled again. "I have noticed. Maybe you should get a watch."

I did not respond. Instead I walked away from her heading to where Daryl stood all ready to leave with a white bowl in his hands. Those hands that used to hold mine, used to rub soothing circles on my back to stop me from crying, those hand that once ran through my hair at night, but now my bed was always empty. Pain hit my heart burning at the pumping source of energy inside me making me want to stop and go in the other direction, but I trudged on. "Why did you not tell me?"

He turned around to look at me a numb expression on his face. "Tell you what?"

"That you leave every night, that you are leaving right now…Where are you going? Why?" Question pooled out of my mouth.

"You never cared before."

I bit the inside of my lip. "I did not know before. This is the first I am hearing of it." I took a step closer but he took one back. "I-I lose time so easily. I don't know where I am sometimes. I try to understand things but it is so hard. I forget what I am doing and why. I never know when it's seconds or years…"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you expecting my pity?"

"No," I shook my head feeling the throbbing in my throat from his cold tone. "I forgot to talk to you."

"That does not make any sense you know that?" he shook his head.

I blinked at him. "You say I never cared to ask before where you always went, but it is not true I always care. I just forget to ask you why. I know I go looking for you, but something else makes me distracted and I sit there for hours. Thinking, moving, rocking, trying to remember what I forgot."

He reached out towards me making me flinch when his hand made contact with my shoulder. "Are you still upset?"

"I don't know."

Then he did something I forgot he could do. Daryl pulled me into his arms melting me into his embrace. "I am just going to find some more supplies I will be back later. We can talk." He walked away from me. Was that the end of my needed alone time? Was I ready to come back into sanity? Did he know something about my mental mindset that I did not understand? What had I said to make him hug me again? He has not touched me for the longest time, almost as if my skin burned like acid at the contact. He left me standing there, but it was not like most times. I was more than willing for him to go because I knew he would be back. I knew happiness was hard to come across right now, but my miserableness felt faded.

"Look what I found," he waved a book in front of me once I returned to where everyone sat eating, or talking, or just sitting. "Come on look at it." I flickered to my eyes to the page. "Don't you just enjoy watching love flourish." He flipped through the pages. "Romeo, Romeo where for art thou Romeo."

"Keegan," I snapped him shut. "Stop reciting that stupid poem."

He frowned. "You used to love that book."

"Back when school was a normal thing to attend…" I grumbled feeling angry at his presence near me. We were on better terms I suppose than when he once returned. Just as I was with Daryl, I sometimes forgot to really acknowledge my brother's animation, but he made himself known to me by throwing in some nostalgia that I did not care for. He was still as annoying, still as nosey, and still keen to protect my; I deffed myself to him most of the time. I knew Beth, and now Alice pleaded with me to just face my grudging demons and forgive him, forgive Daryl, and most of all forgive myself but it was like trying to break a nasty habit. It was always mostly impossible to forgive and forget. I tried when I could remember what I was trying for in the first place.

"Lighten up sissy,' he nudged my shoulder. "You can't still be mad at me?"

I rolled my eyes. "Deny thy father and refuse thy name."

He hit my shoulder rougher. "That's the spirit!"

"We are in the apocalypse and you beg for me to quote Romeo and Juliet." I think he could sense the playfulness in my voice.

For his smiled became sincere. "You seem better Rose. You seem relaxed. You seem yourself."

I sighed looking out into the field in the far off distance not seeing that speck of Rick in the yard. He must have gone away. These words, spoken to me by both Keegan and Daryl in the same day; it was strange. I had no noticed the slight changes in my actions or thoughts. The things I did just began to start to happen without my consent. Maybe letting my body and mind take their own course was best for me. Maybe it helped me figure everything out without even knowing I was doing it to doubt. I had no second guess or judgment in recover…perhaps it just happened? I stuck my thumb under my teeth and bit down. "I bite my thumb at you sir." Emotional talks were mostly still avoidable though. His arm wrapped around me like he did one too many times before; tucked me away in his arms in much more brotherly hug than Daryl. I couldn't bring myself to enjoy. That sick nagging sensation in my stomach yanked at me from not being frustrated with him. He had done too much to me for me to ever forget.

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><p>He tugged me up the stairs with him not daring to talk. I know he needed me to be with him while he spoke to her. I did not want mind. I wanted to be there if she cried. "Hey," he gruffed at her with me standing slightly behind him.<p>

"Hey," her eyes peeled away from her 'journal' to look up at us. "What is it?"

Daryl look back at me and then to Beth. He sighed. "Zach."

She looked down shuffling around in her bed. "Is he dead?" Daryl did not respond. "Okay." She closed her journal and stood up. Her hand lightly peeled the 3 off of the 30 making it zero days without an accident.

"Beth." I stepped forward waiting for her to cry, scream, anything.

"What?" Such lost eyes. "I don't cry anymore. I am just glad I got to know him."

"Me too," Daryl said behind me. I had never met him once.

She raised her eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

"Just tired of losing people." There was a slight sigh in his voice. Her arms wrapped around me, and then she quickly removed them and hugged Daryl.

"I'm glad I did not say goodbye," she pulled away. "I hate goodbyes."

"Me too." My eyes met Daryl's as Beth had turned away. We both knew what was to come with us. He grabbed my hand and pulled me out of her cell into what once was ours. It was emptier now that his things were relocated somewhere I had never bothered to discover. It was colder, darker, lonelier, and much sadder without the warmth of two. He did not speak but instead stared at me through the darkness. Stared through eyes in the dark searching for my lost identity, pulling apart every confusing part of my soul and cracking each of its codes, pin pointing every triggering thought, discovering what was making me tick, founding the reason behind every movement I made, thought I possessed, and action I took, and he took every broken piece of my body, mind, and soul and slowly began to mend them with that look in his eye. Those eyes I had caught such a long time ago I forget when it even was. Those eyes I had met while crying out for help, crying out to be cared for, and explained why I was alone. Those eyes that saved my entire world. He was saving my world once again with those eyes right here and now. We were talking, but not speaking and that was all I needed. For him to sit there and fix me while I let him. I needed to let him fix me. I could not live like this any longer. This anger, this pain, this forgetfulness, this _insanity. _It was all too much.

As if we had been standing there for mer seconds my world began to hammer away to fix those cracks in time I had plastered with grief, worry, and guilt. Then he strode forward and kissed me. Kissed me until I fell back onto the bed. "I love you,' he whispered tearing my shirt over my head. "I still love you." His fingers were unbuttoning his own shirt throwing it across the emptied room next to mine. "I could never stop loving you." I ran my hands down the length of his stomach as he hovered over me. His hands were slithering down my back to find my bra clasp which snapped off with ease. "I knew you were still in there somewhere. I knew you just needed me to back off. You always did need that. I knew you were ready to let me in again." He caressed my face. "It was in your eyes." His lips leaned down to touch my softly, slowly, passionately. My body lit up like a candle burning with a fever. A sound between a groan and his name left my lips as his fingers wrapped up in my belt loop to tug my pants down my legs and off of the bed. My breaths became heavier, anxious at the thought of what was to come now. His skin is as hot as mine and his chest rises and falls rapidly. He pulls his mouth away from mine and I whimper at the loss of contact from him, before I really complain his mouth meets my neck. I feel every lick, every sucking movement of his sweet lips making a puddle of heat pool down my body and shoot through my thighs. His teeth graze my collarbones and I grasp onto his hair telling him these games were no fun. His mouth plants a trail of kisses against my jawline up to my near giving it a slight nip making me moan quietly into his. The soft noise escaping my mouth made him grow hard against my leg. His finger pads trail down from my face, down the middle of my chest reaching the top of my underwear which I forgot I was even wearing. His fingers dip inside the under garment and my teeth grind together when his hand makes contact. His breath was shallow in my ear as he flexed a finger at my bundle of nerves hidden in the soft folds. Daryl was clumsy, scared, and I was getting awfully frustrated with the teasing; he sensed it. He inserted a finger into my waiting heat. He moves timidly, sporadically, hot breaths hitting my ear make me want him ever so badly. Need was building inside me, longing for him to come closer. Then he stopped. Before I spoke about the withdrawal, he reentered.

I bite my lip as my stomach clenches and my toes curl. Sweat built up in my hairline and along my neck. He inserts another finger making my teeth bite harder into my lip as a groan escaped my mouth. I felt myself reaching my high as I scratched at his arm begging for the release. He stops once more taking my panties off while he pulls away and when I regain focus and look down he's removing his pants. "You son of a bitch." I smirk at him as he drops them to a floor before returning his attention my naked body. He takes my hand and wraps it around his length. I move my hand up and down as he positions himself on top of me, spreading my legs apart with his knees. Suddenly his lips meet mine, his tongue teasing mine, molding our mouths together like they should be. My hands shoot to his back to pull him closer as I feel his manhood brush against my leg before pressing into me. My eyes screw at the sensation. It had been so long I forgot how good he was. He kisses me everywhere, lips, cheeks, nose, neck…anywhere to example love.

I stare up at him. His jaw clenched in concentration, his hard muscles contract and pull against his skin. He buries his head into my neck with hot breath wild on my skin. He rolls his hips into mine cause a groan from both our mouths. Time slows, then speeds, then stops as he thrust in and out of me. I feel his sweat on my lips from his tattered body pushing inside me until both of us were on edge. I open my mouth to say his name for the sake of both of us but the word catches in my throat. A sharp pain jerked me forward shooting up my from my stomach to my chest burning at my heart making it hard to breath. "Daryl," I gasp out and he takes my cries of help as sighs of pleasure. I was choking on my own breaths as he finished inside me waiting for me to come down from this 'high' but this was no happy end. It was banging, scratching, tearing at me.

And then it stopped.

"Are you okay?" he asked a slight pant in his voice. He catches the look on my face, a look a pure terror. "What happened" Did I hurt you?"

I breathe, I breathe, I breathe until it became easier. I reached over and grabbed his moist hand placing it on my midriff.

"Something just kicked me."

* * *

><p>As you can see I am not very good at writing smut so ya...<br>Anyways Rose is kinda really bipolar and stuck between a personality disorder if you did not notice.  
>Comment what you think please xoxo.<p> 


	34. Chapter 34

We played the waiting game

Sitting in silence for minutes with his eyes flickering to mine and then to my exposed skin. We looked for the sign of what was going on inside me, or if I had imagined it. I was beginning to question what it really was as time passed by ruthlessly. Just when I thought we would both decide it was nothing but a passing cramp Daryl recoiled his hand quickly holding it in his other hand. I blinked at him until he said something of thought as he stared wide-eyed at my abdominal. "We need to get Alice." He flung himself off the bed searching for his trousers.

I caught his shirt that he had thrown at me and tugged it over head. "Why?" My hair flew into my face as I reached down to pick up my underwear sliding them up my leg refusing to stand.

"We don't know what is going on in your stomach, she's our best hope to a doctor." He folded my pants over my legs. "I'll be right back." He left rapidly. I put my pants to the side choosing comfort over pride. I laid back down pulling the slim sheets over my body for some sort of warmth despite being hot. Lying there in the quiet I could hear everything. The mice's tails hitting the metal bars of the cell doors, the soft snoring of Hershel just a couple of cells down, and most of all the rustle of a baby down in my organs. I kept the best in mind, yet my subconscious was screaming at me to believe in science and not a petty-girl dream. I could feel my stomach rise with unknown hope that burned. Burned nicely, not like the acid feeling I have endured in the past few weeks. I closed my eyes and smiled to myself. _One, Two, Three_ then I let the smile drip from my face. I was not about to get my hopes up just to be told it was nothing. Hershel's snoring had stop and he grumbled some words, no doubt Daryl and Alice had woken him up as well. They all clambered into my room closing the cell door once they all were in. "I gave you your pants." Daryl whispered sitting down at the edge of the bed.

I began to sit up, but Alice grabbed my shoulder pushing me back down. "It's best she did not put them on Daryl." She had a frown on her face as she put the ear plugs of the stethoscope in her ears. "Now Rose, just so you know there is a chance it is not what you are expecting. I don't want you getting excited." I gulped as she pressed the cool metal to my stomach. My eyes caught Daryl's and I had to bit my thumb to hide a smile, then I looked to Hershel who, after being just woken up, looked confused and concerned. Alice furrowed her eyebrows moving around the stethoscope.

"What is it?" Daryl moved around restlessly.

"Hershel." She spoke quietly looking at the old man. He moved to her taking up the spot she abandoned for him listening intently on my stomach. He held the same expression Alice had. I shivered when the coldness of the stethoscope hit me on the wrong part of my skin causing Daryl to latch onto my ankle. "Did you hear it too?" Alice bit the end of her pinky.

Daryl let go of my foot. "Hear what?"

I looked to Hershel as he removed the ear pieces wrapping the medical tool around his neck. "A heart beat." Daryl and I looked at each other confused. Was that a bad thing?

"If there is a heartbeat it means that it hasn't turned. If there is a heartbeat it means…well it means…" Alice glanced at Hershel.

"It means your baby is alive." Hershel's hand softly ran over the length of my stomach. "I thought it was not possible for that baby to survive you being shot, but-!"

I smiled. "Anything's possible. You told me that."

"That I did." He chuckled. "You got a strong child I will give you that much."

"We aren't doctors but it's easy to infer you've reached your third trimester of your pregnancy." Alice crossed her arms and Hershel stood up. "It's unsure when labor will occur but expect it at any time. You might be premature or unknowingly in you ninth month. You are a tiny person with a big belly, it will be hard to move around that's why you have back pains, why it may be hard to breath at some times, why you feint easily…take it slow alright?"

Hershel grabbed Alice's shoulder lightly leading her to the door. My doctors. "Don't go wondering around alone Rose." Then they both left.

"I-I-I…" Daryl's mouth hung loosely open as he paced the room. "I don't know what to say…"

"I think that everything is going to be okay."

He smiled at me before grabbing my hand. "Sit up." I listened to him and with his aide I slowly had my legs brought over the side of the bed and my back straight. Hesitantly, beautifully, romantically he got down onto his knee. "Bare with me." His face turned red. "I know this is going to sound really cheesy, but this is a good enough time to ask. We've been together for how long? A year, more than that yeah? I think it's safe to say I have loved you ever single day I have known you, even the ones it seemed impossible too. You pushed me away lot recently, but I have pushed you away in the past when you wanted to help me through hard times. I don't know how we did it but we made it through all of those really shitty days _together_. Without each other we'd be dead and don't you dare tell me otherwise. We've changed a lot since those first couple days; you finally learned how to shoot a gun." I laughed where he paused. "And I finally can love someone without fear. I free fell with you something that was so terrifying for me before I met you. You've opened my eyes to so many emotions. You've really made my world such a better place. I wasn't surviving anymore, I was living _for you. _Now I know you can be a bitch, and stubborn, and just plain cold to me especially when you get upset but I still love you. Those days you ignored me because you had to grieve were the worst days of my life. I thought you were long gone, I thought you would never come back to me but you did. You came back stronger than ever." He took a shaky breath. "I want to forget all the bad stuff that happened to us in the past. I want to forget that day I left you, or that day you told me you could not love me. I want to forget that day you got shot, or the day I got shot. I want to forget it all. Because we need to just look forward. We have a baby on the way. We are going to be a family. We have new friends now. We need to make a life here. We need to move on, from all of it. I love you Rose, and…and I want you to spend the rest of your life with me."

"You're such a sap." I giggled grabbing ahold of his cheeks in my hands. "Of course I will you plum."

He got off his knee to press his lips to mine. "Will you remember something for me please?"

"Anything."

"All of your demons become my demons." His eyes were hard, yet soft, cold, yet so warm. They were so loving and so concerning.

My head moved up and down. "I know that."

"Then don't you dare every shut me out again."

* * *

><p>"Books, Comics…Stale M&amp;Ms?"<p>

"You're the one that likes stale m&ms."

Michonne laughed. "Then I'll defiantly be looking for some." The horses hooves crunched the rooks beneath its feet. "Why don't you wear your hat anymore?"

"It's not a farming hat," Carl replied back. "See you soon?"

"Pretty soon."

I looked at Rick who had the slight smile on his face. "You should get one of those straw hats then Carl." The young boy appeared at my side the ghost of a good mood fading. I know he much rather be fighting than out here helping his dad farm. Ever since Carl shot that boy from Woodbury out of cold blood he's been on vegetable duty. "Then you can have a hat for every occasion."

"Where is Daryl?" The Grimes boy asked me watching Rick silently slip on his gloves.

"Thought better to let him sleep, I have never seen him that peaceful." My eyes lingered over ever garden stems.

Rick was on his knees peeling away at the dirt like a routine. "Ever since you kicked him out he's been sleeping on that floor just on top of the stairs. I wake up just before him. He told me to wake him up, so you would not see him there." He looked up at me. "I'm glad I won't have to do that anymore. The poor thing looked so uncomfortable."

"Yeah…" I trailed off ashamed. "He's moving his things back in there today." I huffed out a semi-laugh. "Sound so normal eh? Moving his things back into my place…If you count a crossbow and that dumb poncho of his."

Carl held out a bucket to his father. "That poncho is really nice actually."

"Surprisingly comfy too?" I shook my head chuckling.

"You seem happy Rose." His voice was loud against the quiet field.

I nodded. "I am happy." Rick, Carl, and Michonne knew of the rebirth of my once presumed dead child; I could not contain it on the way down here. I knew it was wrong to be so excited to give birth during the apocalypse, but I needed this baby. It kept my hopeful. It kept me reminded that a brighter future is possible.

"They took out another clump yesterday, but there was a build up overnight. They might need to clear it again." My eyes followed Carl's over to the fence pushing slightly by the weight of walkers. "Maybe we could help?"

Rick sighed pulling out a weed. "I got other plans. Involving dirt and cucumbers, keeping people fed."

My stomach growled, "I could go for some cucumbers."

"Well if you don't want to maybe I could…" They both ignored my attempt to avoid an argument between father and son. "Could I?"

He stood up after throwing a handful of dirt to the side. "We have other plans. That's what I should have said."

Carl grumbled kicking his feet at the upturned dirt. "He means well Carl, don't be spiteful."

"He's being stupid." He told me matter-of-factly. "He thinks that cucumbers are going to help solve that buildup of walkers? Food won't matter if we're all dead."

I reached out to him setting my hand on his shoulder. Before the prison he would have jumped away from my touch and whisper how I was nothing but a burden, but things have changed. We had both mature in our times inside those grey walls. "He is no stupid, he is your father. I know it is annoying being told what to do or being prevent from what you want to do, but you need to listen to him. This will all make sense sooner or later." He knew I was right. The fog was lightening up around the prison as the sun rose higher and higher with every passing minute. Daryl would be awake soon no doubt searching for me. "Tell you dad I went back inside." He nodded and trudged over to the pig pen as my feet hit the gravel walkway. I sighed staring at the approaching incline. It was going to be rough, I could already feel the pain in my back, the shallow breaths were starting, and baby Dixon moved relentlessly inside my stomach. I smile though on my battle upward. I would take pregnancy pain if it meant my baby was healthy and alive.

Two gunshots echoed around the prison sending everyone into a panic. I was trying to move up the hill faster than what I called a quick pace, but it seemed like the fence was moving away from me every time I thought I was closer. My legs were weak, and the wound in my side still tingled with pain ever jerk the wrong way. My actions were a train wreck heading to nowhere but disaster. My belly was yanking me downwards and the hill was pushing me backwards, maybe because I was so weak, so tiny this baby was making my movements harder? Lori did not have these problems.

Hands were on my back in seconds as Rick helped me move up the steep hill. "Walkers in D!" Glenn shouted over all the chaos. Rick yanked open the fence door walking ahead me. I could just hear Maggie shouting something to Michonne as Carl helped her back into the prison grounds. I pulled my gun out from the back of my jeans loading the things poising it ready to shot when needed. My footsteps followed Rick's as he ran ahead, my slow pace would just hold him back.

Her hands wrapped around my arm tightly pulling me away from battle. "Where do you think you are going!?" Beth kept walking me back towards C block. "You can't go in there! Are you an idiot!"

"I-I...I don't know." I let her drag me away. "I just followed my instinct. Let my feet carry me."

"You can't even walk up a hill on your own your so malnourished...What makes you think you can fight off walkers?" Her ability to ask the right questions concerned me. "You need to think things through. Be smart."

"I'm sorry." She closed the cell block door behind us giving me those Beth eyes. Those eyes that let you know she is right. "Did Daryl go in there?"

She nodded. "He knew you were down with Rick and Carl. Told me to go out and find you so I could bring you back in here."

"Good thing you listened to him." I knew I would have died if I had gone into D block. I was not strong enough to fight. Not yet.


	35. Chapter 35

My eyes traveled along with Beth as she wandered around with Judith softly cooing in one arm and distributing folded clothes with the other. This eighteen year old girl could do so much in a course of twenty minutes something I still am not capable of doing. Her eyes caught mine and she smiled. "What is on you mind?" her concern with me always had a swelling effect on my heart. No one from before the apocalypse ever cared about me like Beth does; like a best friend, or sister…

"I am just worried."

She chuckled. "Aren't we all." she flickered her eyes to me then back to a blue shirt I did not the know the owner to. "He will be alright."

I gulped. "I know...it's just-I just...ugh."

"Spit it out." she smirked.

"I am pregnant." My eyes were feeble and weak; I was scared of her reaction.

Beth stepped closer to me her eyes widening at my words. "What? Again?" Judith gave a small cry, but stayed put. "But my dad said…"

"No," I shook my head. "Your dad and Alice heard a heartbeat when I felt it kicking last night. They said I am in my third trimester. I never had a miscarriage."

"That's great!" she beamed.

I could not smile back. "I know I should not want it, and I should be awfully worried but I just can't help but feel giddy at myself becoming a mother. I feel like I deserve this baby."

"Don't you dare ever feel like you don't." her hand sat on my shoulder as she gave one of those smiles I always love to see. "Judith needs a younger playmate." She looked at the baby girl who tucked her head away into Beth's shoulder.

I sighed. "I hope everything is alright in D block…Do you know what happened anyways?"

She shook her head. I have been with you since I first heard everything." I agreed with a nodded head. I heard the cell block door slam closed, Carl and Maggie supporting a wounded Michonne into the cell Beth and I were in. "What happened?" the young girl asked eyeing Michonne's wincing face. I did not stay for the answer and already began my trip to the outside. The sun felt hot on my skin as the smell of summer edged closer. Thinking back to my adolescents summer was my favorite part of the apocalypse. I had never had the chance to experience that blistering heat against my body until now. Washington was damp and rainy, the most sun I got was once every few months and even then it was lower than these degrees in the South.

"Daryl?" I called out looking around the almost abandoned courtyard. "Daryl!" I felt my heart beating ten times faster than it should as the constant worry crept into my mind. Is this why no one came to get me? Had something happened to him?

He emerged from behind the courtyard wall wearing a mask. "I am alright," he said in the process of slipping gloves onto his hand. His eyes met mine, but they did not dare soften. "Really Rose I am." My eyes wandered down to the shovel under his arm. "I have to go dig some graves that is all."

"I was not worried." I crossed my arms in rebellious defiance of emotions. "Who died?"

"Mostly Woodbury residents…" he looked around for any sign of wandering walkers. I could see the protection laced deep into his eyes something I had gotten used to. I enjoyed his attention of me.

My arms reached out to grab him into my embrace. "I love you," I nuzzled my head into his chest.

His hand hesitantly ran down the length stopping confused when it ended shorter. "I love you too." He pulled away from my hug and stalked off to the fence. I had finally remembered to ask him what had happened, but it was too late and I wanted to return back inside. My stomach gave a rumbling sensation and a sudden kick from the baby with protest for food. I wish I could supply it more but rations prevented most of the required nutrition. This always made me think back to Lori, how I had always dedicated half of my meals for her. Always anything I did seemed to be for her safety. Did I always feel that pity I feel now for the pregnant woman? My heart gave a wrenching pull and I begged my thoughts to stop guilt pressing into my eye sockets and rub cages. Weak points to an overrunning thought process.

"Do we have any peaches?" I asked suddenly spotting Carol sorting through food and clothes. "I have the worst craving for peaches."

The woman did not glance at me. "No, but we have some pears."

I sighed. "Okay," She opened up the can and handed it to me with a fork stuck through the middle. I watched her work while I ate. I tried to guess what she was thinking of me every time her cold stare met mine. Was she honestly still jealous of Daryl and I? Jealousy is such a high school thing. Or did she think I used the miscarriage as an excuse not to do chores? I had forgotten to mention to every one of the rebirth. Maybe a secret was what I needed. I did not need anyone to pity me for the pregnancy. I stuck a sliced pear into my mouth staring down at the now empty can suddenly really sad by its void state. I was so confused. I did not know what to do with myself. I was this empty can. Useless, unwanted, just garbage now that I was handicapped with child. I could not go and help them dig graves, or clear cell blocks, or take out walkers at the fence. I could not clean up, or farm, or fetch water. I was just an empty can. Everyone was doing something no matter what it was, I was just dead weight. I left the can sitting there as Carl walked in carrying planks of wood. I could hear Judith crying the minute I stepped into out cell block, then came Beth trying to soothe her. "Is she alright?"

Beth nodded not looking at me as Judith's face became red with agony. "Just senses distress I think. She just ate, and I changed her thirty minutes ago." Suddenly the baby gave a cough and vomited all over Beth's shirt. The blonde girl groaned holding out the baby to Michonne. "Can you take her please," she pleaded placing Judith in her arms and walking away past me to find a towel. I stared at Michonne who look ready to just place Judith back on the ground, but instead took one look at that baby girl and tucked her away in her arms. Michonne's shoulders were shaking as she held onto Judith tighter. Beth appeared at my side silently with a towel now on her shoulder, our eyes met and we both walked away from that cell leaving Michonne to cry with Judith in her arms. "Think she is okay?"

I shrugged leaning against the door post of a cell. If I peered inside no doubt it would be Maggie and Glenn's. "She will be okay. She has to be."

"I wondered if she should be that close to Judith though…"

My eyebrows furrowed. "What are you talking about?"

Beth opened her mouth but just then the door of the cell block slammed closed and Daryl's huffing breath was heard as he searched for us. "Beth," he grabbed the young girl's arm. "Go to the warden's office, and take Judith. Maggie will come by later to give you some clothes and supplies for Judith, just go now." He pushes the girl away and turns to me. I watch Beth flee into her cell and then out of the cell block in a blur of blonde. "Follow her, but do not go into the same room."

"What happened?" I asked feeling his fingertips soft on my skin as he tried to drive me into the direction Beth went. Such a a day of confusion.

"Please," he whined, "Just do this for me."

I stepped away from him. "Will you come tell me why I have to leave?" He nodded and I turned around walking towards where ever Beth ran off too. She must know where it was if she had the confidence to not ask for instructions on how to get there. This must be from something that went on in D block. Mostly Woodbury residents had died in that attack, so how did this affect me. I was not upset about them. I know I should not be thinking like this but my hatred for their ignorance was a hard flame to extinguish. It was the same hate I held for Andrea slightly diminished by her brutal death…but it was still all the same. They could have helped Glenn, or Maggie. They could have helped Merle, Milton, all these people that man killed or hurt in any way. They trusted him, they believed in him. It sickened me. I twisted the knob of the door pulling it open andtaking a step inside closing the wooden door behind me. It was slightly dark in the room; the only light present was a small window behind a desk. The room must have been illuminated by lamps or lights judging by the burnt out bulbs in them. A mahogany desk sat just to the right of the door. Papers were still present, so were the pens, name tags, paper clips, badges, and a half drunken moldy coffee cup. I fell back into the plush swivel chair spinning until my legs were hidden under the desk, and then I dug into the drawers. Prisoner files were layered like cake inside the bottom left drawer. I wonder if I got bored if I would read through them all…In the drawer above that were more personal items; a tie with a brown stain on it, a packet of sugar, a wooden moose from some park reserve, a blue ribbon that read 'best dad', and a photograph of a woman, little girl, and a dog. So sentimental. I slammed that drawer fairly quickly. The top drawer on the right held a wooden box that was locked with no key present. Next to that was a large chain of keys which most likely opened the box, but my time here was limited. A file lay underneath with big red letters across it saying 'classified', and more files under that. I closed that one pulling the drawer underneath it open finding what I truly was searching for, a hand gun. I leaned back against the black chair turning the gun over in my hands before setting it in front of me on the desk. "Hopefully daddy is okay," I cooed running a hand over the length of my belly feeling the rustle going on inside. "I know…I am worried too." I let my head rest against the back of the chair closing my eyes. "I am worried too."

I heard knocking. It was soft, but loud enough to wake me from my confused sleep. My knuckle dug into my eyes as I furiously rubbed the sleep away as best as I could. I groaned as I stood up walking to the door to pull it open, but his hand shot out to stop me from doing so. "Don't open it."

"Why?" I furrowed my eyebrows. "Daryl, what's going on?"

His head's outlined became darker as he pressed his forehead to the fuzzy glass window. "There is something going around. It is a flu circulating around in D block, Patrick had it…you probably don't know him, but he was from Woodbury. It's a virus, and it is really contagious. You'll start coughing, being weak, and get a fever like a normal flu…but then you'll start choking on your own blood; it causes anemia, or hypoglycemia. You'll die from the symptoms Hershel says…and you know what happens when you die."

I took a sharp breath. "You turn."

"Beth is in the room just down the hall with Judith, Carl is coming in here soon, and so is Hershel. We need- _I need _you to stay in here." His hand left the doorknob. "I need you safe, even from me. I was in there, I could get you sick. You need to stay healthy."

I swallowed back my questions and pleas. "How is Keegan?"

He must have been taken aback by the question for it took a few minutes to find the right words. "He-He is alright for now. We got him out of there in time."

"What do you mean 'in time'?"

"Don't think too much about it Rose, please for me? We'll take care of everything on this side while you get ready for that baby…" He avoided my question something I would ask about every day until told what happened to my brother.

I shook my head rubbing my eyes together with my two fingers. "What are we even going to name it?"

"Something meaningful." I wish I could see the smile that was present in his face. "I'll come back later." I wanted to kiss him goodbye or tell him I love him but he was away before the words dislodged from my throat. My fist curled up against themselves as I rested my head on the door frustration shaking my body like a tidal wave. He must know I would not accept my quarantine, he must know I hated not being able to help; he must know I would sooner or later leave my containment.


	36. Chapter 36

Sorry the chapters are kind of lame, I have been really busy and trying to handle other things.

If there is anything you wish to see that happens in these few episodes let me know.

If there anything you guys want me to change I will, just comment what you are thinking.

lot's of love xoxo-kate

* * *

><p>I tapped my fingers against the mahogany desk. It has been twenty-four hours since I last saw cell block C and my heart beats ran high. The stress was terrible, the paces were long, and the walls were too hard to punch through. I felt trapped, caged like an animal kept away for what seemed to be an eternity. I knew Beth, Hershel, and Carl were all here but I still felt alone. I felt so isolated. Although I would have craved for the quiet alone time before I had an awakening now all I craved for was not to feel useless. "You okay?" I heard the small boy ask from the other side of the door. He had make it a routine to check up on me every so often during the day. He would pee in like watching a lion stalk around in a pen waiting to stick whatever came into its path of escaped, because that is exactly how I felt.<p>

"No," I shook my head leaning against the door.

Carl sighed pressing his back to it. "I know me too. I feel like there is so much more I could be doing but instead I am stuck in here."

"The feeling is mutual."

"I am sorry Rose," he suddenly said catching me off guard with this apology. "Back when we first came into this prison I really hated you. I am sorry for hating you, I had no reason to."

I shrugged. "It is alright. I would have hated me too."

"Do you think everything is going to be alright?" I frowned.

"Will it ever be alright?"

He shot away from the door. "I think my dad is coming I will come check on you later." And then I saw his figure run away; so defiant, so wounded.

I slowly turned around until my back was to the door and slid down the bumpy surface stopping when my butt hit the cold floor. How long would this isolation last? Days, weeks, months…I would not be able to handle that. Beth could because she was mature, responsible, and had Judith to occupy her running mind. What did I have? A handgun and some pens. "Rose." I looked up his shadow passing over onto the floor. What a warm shadow.

"What." It came out bitterly.

His shadow shifted. "How are you doing in there?"

"Terrible." I moved to my left hand to push myself off the ground into a standing position. "I don't understand why I can't just come out there and help. I will be fine."

Daryl shook his head. "You know you won't."

"How do you know?" I gritted my teeth. "We've been through this before Daryl, you have to trust me."

"I do trust you." His hands pressed against the door. "It's this virus I do not trust. If you caught it…who knows what would happen. We both know your immune system is not at its prime. You're pregnant and malnourished. You would die."

I sighed rolling my head against the glass of the door window. "I hate not being able to do anything." I could feel his empathy roll underneath the door to press into my skin. It made me squeeze my eyes hard for the pain of his pain. I wanted it all to stop. "How is my brother?"

It took him awhile to respond. "He is with Alice."

"That does not answer on how he is doing…" Sarcasm was hard to hold back.

"He is fine." Daryl nodded. "I have to go."

"Alright. Will you come by later?" Something was off in the way he shuffled at the question.

"I have to go on a run, for medication. Hershel says that a veterinarian school will have the same medication we need for the people who are sick." My lip was trembling, my eyes were watering. Why was it always _him? _"I will be back, sooner than you think and when I return you can come out again because we will have the medicine to treat everybody okay?" his hands left the door. "I love you."

I bit my cheek as the stray tear ran down my face. "I love you too." He was off just as quick as he came. The baby gave a lurch forward sensing the oncoming distress on my heart. My fingers curled around my palm indenting white half-moon crescents into the skin until the phalanges were numb. I brought the tight fist back and slammed it into the door not knowing where else to let my frustration out on. I gave out a sound between a scream and his name but it got lost in confusion of anguish. I was not sad. I was _angry_. Anger was the cause of these tears streaking down my furrowed eyes, anger was the cause of my curled up fist, anger was always the cause…

An hour had passed, or was it a minute? I had no idea how long I leaned against that door waiting for someone to tell me I could come out. The solitude was killing me and with Daryl gone everyone would be down one less man. They needed me. I yanked the door open and walked down the hall. I remember Beth leading the way with a whining Judith in her arms. I tried to figure out my path back. I did not care how long it took me to find my way out, sooner or later I would be home bound. Something in my stomach churned with betrayal. I knew leaving would cause a fight with Daryl or something of that sort but I needed him to understand I was so useless in there. People needed my help. Cell Block C was emptier than usual. "Rick?" I called out hoping the cop would answer me. "Hello?" Graves were being dug, people had left with Daryl, and the infected were all lock away somewhere else…the emptiness scared me. I heard whispering, a low soft mumble followed by an even quieter cough.

"It's gunna be okay…its gunna be okay…"

I pushed the curtain aside. "Glenn?" He was hunched over holding his sweaty hands in each other almost praying.

His hand shot out towards me. "D-Don't come in."

"What is the matter Glenn? Do you want me to get Maggie?" I stepped closer.

He turned to look at me his face just as sweaty as his hands. "I have it."

Instead of turning away from him like a smart person I walked towards him wrapping his arm around my shoulder and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, we'll get you Alice." I falter under his body weight, I needed to pretend I was strong for his sake.

"Rose," he wrangled in my grasp but was too weak to push me away. "You need to get away from me. You need to go back by Beth."

I chuckled. "Well you sure aren't strong enough to push me away, so you sure as hell can't get yourself help." It shut him up. I dragged him towards cell block A where Carl had told me all the sick infested people were being held. I knew it was wrong for me to take one step into there, but I had a job to do. Sickness felt draped over me like a dirty blanket once I was inside, yet I trudged on until I found Alice. She was in a dark, damp cell block her face was pale and sweaty as she leaned over a woman taking her heart beat.

She squeezed her eyes shut before standing up straight. Her eyes met mine, and then flashed to Glenn. "What are you doing here Rose? You need to get out of here."

"I needed to help Glenn." I nodded towards him in my arms. "He is sick."

Alice wrapped Glenn's arm around her like I had just had him. They both staggered but stayed put. "I have got him now go back to the administration building." She brushed past me.

I followed her. "Is there anything I can do?"

She walked into a cell and placed Glenn down on a bed where he began to cough. Alice check his pulse on his right wrist before turning to me. "No, now you need to leave before I go get someone to do so."

"Everyone is either sick or locked away, or on a run." I crossed my arms. "You need my help."

"We have Doctor S. here and me, we are fine."

I reached out and gripped her forearm to stop her from pushing me out. "I am staying her to help no matter what you have to stay to me. I don't care what explanation you have to give, or what Daryl will do when he comes back I am helping. I will not go into that office again and feel useless while everyone else dies around me."

Alice stared at my face with eyes full of guilt for deciding whatever she was deciding. She nodded towards upstairs. "Sasha needs some water, and Bill, that man up there on the left, may need to be locked away. He could barely open his eyes last time I checked on him." she nodded and stalked off no doubt looking for a way to put down that woman she just checked on. This cell block was a tomb. I started up the stairs my fingers just lightly grasping the railing on my way up. Coughing was the soundtrack in this drank movie credits rolling with blood. No wonder I was banned from here. I peered in the cell Bill was in listening for any sound coming from him but nothing met my ears. _Just a matter of time… _the cell door made me cringe when it finally closed.

"I was hoping we could meet again," a voice wheezed from behind me.

"Sasha?" I questioned as she hunched towards me gripping the wall for support. She slowly nodded. "Why did you want to meet me again?"

She chuckled then began to cough. "You weren't pregnant the last time you sentenced me to death." Her eyes met mine and the repressed memories tried to force back through. "When did that happen?"

"I wish I could tell you…" I frowned at her haggard body. "I came to give you some water." I held out the cup. "Alice said you might need some."

She slowly took it to her mouth. "You still want to kick me out of here?"

"I wouldn't be helping you if I did." My shoulder hit the cold cement of the wall. I tried to learn to lick these strangers, even Sasha, but it was hard too. Even Alice was hard to call my friend for her stay in Woodbury was just as long as anyone else's here. I could not trust them. I told myself I did not hate them but I was just lying to not show anger towards these sick people. They did not need my glaring eyes.

Sasha nodded past me. "Your brother is just in that cell down there."

I stood up straight. "What? He's in here?" I spun around quickly rushing down the walkway towards his cell. I had no idea he was sick. Maybe this is what they were hiding from me; maybe this is why no one told me, for if they did I was no doubt going to come in here.

"Rose!" Alice called from below. Distraction…don't pay attention to her. "Rose, please come help me." I halted slowly turning to look at her. She was rolling a cart covered with a sheet that held a body, a body of that woman I suspected. "Just for a second." I abandoned my brother and headed back for the stairs. I kept in mind he would not move, that I could just come back in here for him. Alice stuck her face into her shirt coughing harshly. "Sorry," she said quietly and began to roll this make-shift body bag out of cell block A.

"Why did you not tell me he was in here? Why did you not tell me he was sick?" I asked her fury in my veins for their ignorance of my brotherly needs. _But you don't care about him…He left you…_

Alice did not respond but instead positioned the cart against the wall. "Hold it still." She told me then stepped backwards. I pulled the sheet back a little to get a clean stab to the head but a pillow lay under the sheet. It was too late. The cell block door closed, and locked behind me before I could even protest.

"Let me in! Let me in!" I pounded on the door just picturing my brother lying there. "Alice please! My brother!"

"You need to stay away from him, from us…you need to stay safe." She coughed into her elbow. "I am sorry friend."

Again my fist was curled. "If you were my friend you would let me see him." Alice walked away from me. I tried the handle again, but she had locked it this time. Locked me away from my sick brother. He could die and I could never see him again. _But you hate him remember…_ I gave the door one last kick before stomping away from the cell block. This would not be the end of my attempts to feel worth something.


	37. Chapter 37

Another filler sorry guys. I am kind of in a writers block.

I would love to hear what you guys would want to see, or for any of the characters to do.

lot's of love xoxo-kate

* * *

><p>I stared at the pair of them hustling across the courtyard fearing the wandering eyes of lookouts, but then again who was there to look out. Everyone who was able was helping the sick. They were almost to the courtyard gate before I started towards them. "Hey!" I called out walking at a fast past gripping to my stomach for support. "Where are you going?"<p>

They looked at each other, and then Hershel's hand was on the gate. "We are going out to look for some elderberries. I have a tea remedy that may help these sick people."

"Will it cure them?" I shifted my weight between my feet.

"No," he shook his head, "but it will buy us time."

Carl nodded. "Until Daryl returns with the medicine."

I looked towards the gate. "I am coming with you." Hershel opened his mouth to speak but I glared. "You shouldn't be out here but you are, I have the right too. Right now it is more likely I will die in that prison than outside the fence." Hershel did not look at me as he pulled open the gate and hobbled down the gravel path. He knew I was right for that was the same reason he was out here doing what he was doing. I glanced sideways at Carl; he must have wanted the excuse to put his sheriff's hate back on. I reached over and slid my hand around his back playing off the soft touch as an aide for walking down the decline. He did not seem to mind at all. Once again we were yanking open a gate and closing it until we reached our death trap of an entrance. It was liberating to be outside in fresh, new air without coughing particles lingering around. "I haven't felt this free in such a long time."

"You and me both," Hershel spotted a clearing without walkers and walked in that direction. I followed behind him while Carl covered us both…what a team we were. Hershel seem to know where these elderberries were as he led us in to the forest that surrounded our prison. Nostalgia was present in the way the trees casted a shadow on the ground of our bodies, the leaves softly whistling my name calling me into freedom, the dampness of the moss sticking to my skin from the hot southern sun, it reminded me of my early days with these people back when we were always in the wilderness, back when everything was not complicated by flus or babies. No wonder Daryl always wanted to leave the prison, it was not at all homey. "When did your dad give it back?" I heard the old man ask. I must have too busy reminiscing to notice him already picking fruit from bushes.

"Yesterday," Carl glanced at him for a second then looked out into the trees. "After everything happened."

Hershel rustled around in a bush shaking out the fruit. "You've been doing a lot these past few months. There's a responsibility about you. I think it has done you good to stay back."

Carl took a step backwards. "Yeah. It was alright. Can't be like that all the time."

"I would have been fine on my own." He plucked a berry from a bush. "Peaceful out here. These last couple of days it might be safer outside those walls."

"Do you think we should leave?" I flickered my gaze to Hershel.

He stood up straight to meet my eyes. "And jeopardize all those sick people's lives out here. They can't run, or defend themselves."

I turned away. "Just curious…"

"It is not safer out here," Carl said pointing his gun at a walker softly snarling at us from beneath a tree. It lay inert, almost sunken into the ground completely harmless.

"Don't shoot it." Hershel stuck out his hand. "It ain't hurting anybody." He turned away and started to walk from where we came from. "Let's head back…and to think it was just getting peaceful." The walk back to the prison was silent, but it was anything but awkward. We knew once we got back thing would not feel as clean or fresh as they were outside the fences. We knew we would have to go back into that death infested prison full of sick bodies waiting to turn into killing machines. We wanted to help, but what was there to do? This tea may help, but for how long would they last? I was clinging to Carl's arm on the way up the gravel hill his defiance's hanging onto his body as we approached closer to those grey walls. He was fear the fatherly encounter he would surly have once his dad caught word. But it was not Rick's face we saw first….it was Maggie.

"Why aren't you in quarantine?" she had tears in her puffy eyes.

"I am no good to anyone in there," he said to her calmly.

"Daddy please."

He frowned. "Maggie dear," Carl had run off his footsteps echoing into my ears as they got further and further away. "There are people in there suffering, I can bring their fever down and keep them stable."

"Daryl is getting them antibiotics." Fresh tears flowed from her eyes. I wondered why I had no chosen to leave.

He pointed to cell block A. "Some of these people won't last twelve hours."

"I can't let you do this." Maggie matter-of-factly said to him.

"Maggie," I stepped closer towards Hershel as he talked. "Glenn's in there."

"What's going on?" Rick asked appearing into the conversation. Carl must have gotten him fearing for Hershel.

"I got elderberries," he told the two pointing to the box of fruit. "My wife used to make tea with them. They're a natural flu remedy. Caleb is too sick to help them, and we are losing Alice by the minutes. I am helping all that I can. There's so many times we haven't been able to do anything to change what was happening, what was happening to us. We wished we could, but we couldn't. This time I can, I know I can, so I have to."

"Hershel if you go in there you're going to get sick." Rick pointed out.

"We don't know that," he cut him off before the protest really began. "What we do know is that these people's symptoms need to be controlled."

Rick looked at Maggie, and then at me. "Hershel, please we can wait."

"Listen dammit! You step outside, you risk your life. You take a sip of water, you risk your life. Now you breathe, you risk your life…You don't have a choice. You can only choose what you're risking it for. I can help them feel better. I can save lives. That's reason enough to risk mine and you know that." Hershel delivered stalking off towards the door of the infected cell block with a handkerchief covering his mouth. Maggie followed him to try and stop him one last time, but he was determined as he slipped into the darkness.

"Rick, let him do what he wants to do…" I said quietly staring at the man. "Let us all do what we want too."

He turned to me. "You shouldn't even be out here. What are you doing?"

"My brother is in there I-!"

He shook his head. "I thought you didn't care about him?"

I huffed out thinking of the words to explain the anxiety in my heart. "I just-I need to- I don't even know anymore." My hands flopped onto my thighs. "I hate him, but I can't help but feel this pain in my chest when I found out he was in there. He is just another body bag while sitting there. He doesn't get the care he deserves…they aren't looking after him specially. I need to take care of him."

"Come on," he held out his hand. "I have something to show you." I took his hand feeling the cracking skin from piles of dirt against mine watching his feet carry us both towards cell block A. It was a room just between C and A, it was obvious when I entered what exactly he was showing me. It was dark in there with only the window against the wall shining light through. "I'll be right back." He left me in there alone, but I was content with it taking a seat in the chair just in front of a glass panel. I stared at it for minutes thinking of what he may look like, if he was as bad as Sasha, or if he was worse.

My poor brother staggered into the visiting room with the help of no one. "Keegan," I stood up leaning closer to the class. His tired eyes met mine and I nearly sobbed. Dark circles sat underneath him, he was sweaty and worn out, his hands were shaking and he could barely sit himself into the chair.

"I am alright little sister." He held up his hand to me then let it flop onto the counter. "I am alright." His eyes fell. "How is the baby? Alice told me everything."

I laughed tears pricking at my eyes as I lowered myself back down into the chair. "Good, but it has been kicking so much lately."

Keegan looked back up at me his eyes almost red. "Don't stress then. You look like you are going to pop that thing out any day now…stress will only cause labor."

"I can't not stress.' I rolled my eyes. "Daryl's out on a run for medicine and you are in here."

He raised an eyebrow, or at least tried to. "I thought you hated me."

"I thought I did too…" I looked down. "But you being in there and me being out here…I can't lose you Keegan. If you died in there without me being able to help, or say anything to you…If you died while I was angry at you I wouldn't be able to live with myself."

"You don't need me anymore sis," he chuckled coughing into his hand. "You're a big girl now."

My eyes were watering and it was too hard to hold back tears for him. "I love you Keegan. I love you and I am sorry for being frustrated with you when you came back-!"

He slammed his hand onto the table making me jump. "Don't you dare start with this apologetic bullshit just because I am sick. You pucker up, dry those eyes, and I don't want to see that lip quivering. You don't have time to be upset over me. You need to be strong willed. I am alright." I opened my mouth to say something but he cough. He cough and cough until I thought his face would turn purple and then suddenly he coughed blood all onto the glass window in front of me. "I am alright…"

We both stared at the blood as it dripped down from the window in silence.


	38. Chapter 38

"_There's got to be another way,"_

_I looked him up and down. "Don't ask me to leave him. You already did that once."_

"_We started something last night," he was hot on my feet. "You realize that?"_

"_No him no me," I pulled open the trunk of our car. "That is all I can say." I threw some things into a bag and tugged it over my shoulder. "Take care of yourself…and can you just tell her I love her." I nodded to her head that lightly peeked out from the passenger seat. He stared at me before I walked off into the woods._

_He welcomed me with an open arm. "There's my baby brother." He smiled wrapping his arm around my shoulder and walking us away. I casted one last glance over my shoulder at the car knowing I was leaving everything behind for my asshole of a brother. I had to make myself turn away just imagining her face was painful enough, the thought of her realizing I had left was horrifying me. I had to not think about it. But it seemed impossible. My brother barley talked while we walked through the woods, all I had on my mind was her. I had to mull over the reasons to make my actions seem justified, I had to forget her face, I had to forget how special she made me feel, how wanted she made me feel, and I had to forget how much she had made me a better person. It was essential, or else I would turn around and run right back to that prison. I survived before didn't I? I survived without her didn't I? Why was this time any different? _Because I was not in love back then. _I did not know this feeling or what it was capable of doing to the human soul, or how much it could change a person. What had she done to me?_

"_Merle," I cried out my voice croaked, and cracked, and withered. My hand shot out in front of me to grip onto the bark of a tree. "Merle!" I called out again louder this time making sure he turned around. His eyebrows shot up with sarcasm. "We need to stop for a second."_

_He laughed at me. "Staying at that prison really killed your endurance Darlene."_

_I shook my head trying to regain my breath even though I was not at a loss. "I need to sit down," I collapsed beneath the tree feeling my world tumble down around me. The sky was a big blur of blue swirling around in my vision, patches of green floated in now-and-then to confuse where I was supposed to be looking, and Merle's head was shadowing between four to five heads as he stared perplexed at me. What was happening to me? Why was I confused and wounded? Why did my chest hurt so badly?_

"_You know when I would try to stay off the weed for a while to get clean," He shifted to lean on his hips, "I had the same confusion, same surprise, same panic attack…you're going through withdrawal baby brother."_

"_I ain't addicted to anything." I growled letting my head fall onto my knee._

_Merle laughed stepping forward. "You are smoking one mighty strong plant with the name of Rose."_

_I was on my feet in a second with my hands tangled in his shirt shoving him against a tree. "Shut up!" I slammed his back into the tree. "Shut up!" I pulled him away and shaved him onto it again. "Shut up!"_

_Merle's stump uppercutted my stomach sending me stumbling backwards, and then he gave a kick to the targeted area of my abdominal tumbling me to the ground. He kneeled beside me yanking m forward by my shirt. "You left her Daryl, now get over it." He released me. "Now stop being a pussy I'm hungry."_

"_I ain't a pussy," I mumbled dusting myself off, grabbing my crossbow, and standing up following him through the green tower of trees. Silence was back upon us as we tracked. I could feel the uneasy tension dilating off both our skins. We both had unanswered questions just itching to be scratched. Why he never came looking? Why he left? Why he was with Woodbury? Why did he torture Maggie and Glenn? His eyes kept meeting mine whenever he sensed I was being reluctant to follow him. _

"_If you love her so much, why did you come with me?" he asked picking off a leaf of some bush._

_I glanced around. "You're my brother."_

"_She means more to you than I ever did or ever will," he smirked but I could see the shame in his eyes, hear the self-confidence in his voice flatten and die._

"_You could have come with us," My eyes flickered to his as he stopped. "We could have figured something out."_

_He toyed with his hands. "They're all going to be dead."_

"_What makes you so sure?"_

"_Right about now he's probably hosting a housewarming party," Merle began, "He's going to bury what's rest of your pals," he spit. "Let's hook some fish," then brushed past me._

_I jogged up to him. "Maybe we should go back and get her."_

_Merle shook his head. "No, I ain't having her pulling us down, not in the condition she's in." I didn't ask the question playing with my mind; instead I just followed his actions in spitting and walked off. Of in the distance I could hear him rambling off about his time in Woddbury, all the things The Governor would do. He mentioned some forgiveness story about taking Rose away from the prison, away from me, but I blocked it out the memory of us was too hard to enjoy. I tried to toughen up; I tried to not be so soft when it came to her. It was like I was some rock to her, some old, beat-up, scarred, sedimentary rock that seemed indestructible to any interference. Then there was her, a great wave of a woman so ready to wash away all that sea-salt stained colored sadness of me, she crashed over my soul cleansing my from the inside out breaking my rock apart. She broke me just to fix me. No one would ever be able to do that to me like she has. Her precise skill, her agile actions had crept into my skin and made a home to spread throughout my body pinpricking ever bad demon I have ever encountered and obliterating it. How could anyone else compare? _

_My ears picked up a wailing. "Hear that?" I stopped listening savoring anything to distract me from her. _

"_Yeah," Merle didn't smirk. "Wild animals getting wild."_

"_That's a baby."_

_He shook his head and gave nervous smile. "Why don't you just piss in my ear and tell me it's raining too." I broke away from him spotting an open area of sunlight just passing through the trees. A gunshot echoed around the river a couple of people trying to fend for themselves atop of a bridge. I shook Merle's arm and ran past him up the incline. "Hey! I ain't wastin' my bullets!" I ignored him running as fast as I could. Before I would have agreed with Merle and ran in the other directions, but things were different now I suppose. They were shooting haphazardly, shaking the whole time the trigger was being pulled…no wonder they were close to death's doorstep. I released an arrow just into the head of a walker ready to take a chunk out of one of the kid's legs, another when into the head of a walker staggering close to me, I pulled it out shoving it into the head of one just behind me."_

"_Cover me!" I yelled to Merle as I took out one atop of a car where the baby's wails could be heard. I reloaded killing the one next to it. I smashed a walkers head into the car window, and ran to back to pull the crawling zombie inside the trunk out and slam the trunk onto its head. I had to pick them off without any real help from Merle and the man, who I am assuming was the dad, could barely stop shaking enough to reload his gun. Though, the job got done when the last remaining walker was kicked off the bridge side. That's when I heard Merle's gun snap up. _

"_Slow down beaner," he spoke slowly. "That ain't the way to say thank you."_

_The man responded with Spanish. "Let em' go." I grumbled staring at Merle. He pulled his gun back setting it in the waistband of his jeans mumbling something about rewards, then went digging in their backseat. I could hear the baby moaning from inside the car. I raised my crossbow to Merle. "Get out of the car."_

"_I know you're not talking to me brother." He stopped moving but remained in the car._

_I looked at the family. "Get in your car and get the hell outta' here. Go! Get in your car!" The dad hit the son and they ran around to the other side while Merle slowly pulled away from the car door staring straight into me. Behind us the family peeled out and drove off. He pushed the crossbow out of his face which I swung around to move in the other direction. _

"_Daryl!" he said suddenly grabbing onto my shoulder. "Daryl wait I need to tell you something important." I turned around hesitantly with a scowl on my face and a glare in my eyes. "It's about Rose…" he looked off the bridge. "That baby in the car…that woman…it's just…maybe you should know now before it's too late…Rose she-she is having a baby."_

_My crossbow clattered to the ground. "What?"_

_He looked at me. "She's pregnant."_

"_How is that-why-you know-she never-I thought-" I ran my hand through my hair looking everywhere but his face. I knew this was the zombie apocalypse and those precautions were never available but she always assured nothing of that sort could happen. She always told me that but never why…how could this even be possible? How could I let this happen to her? How could I put this burden on her? I was killing her! I was murdering her! How could I leave after doing that to her? How could I leave her? "I have to go back." I picked up my crossbow and took off in the direction we came. I heard Merle yelling behind me with reason on why we could not go back, but I didn't care. I had to go back. I needed to go back. She made me so soft, so weak, so mushy, but yet I was stronger than ever, tougher than I had ever been, and now she was going to need me to support everything she did. She needed my love, and tendering gestures. She needed my trust and courage. She needed me, and that made me want her so much more. I loved her more than humanly possible…and now…_

_She was having my baby._

I twirled the pacifier between my fingers staring at the playful twist, and taunting ducklings on it. It was clear. It had to be. Rose would not stand for pink, nor blue stating this gender would have to be a surprise. "Daryl," Michonne spoke beside me. "Ready?"

"Yup," I reached over slamming the car door closed tucking the binky in my jacket pocket making sure it was safe and secure. I glanced out the window watching the scenery blow past me and smiled; something still hard to get used to…I was ready to start this family.

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><p>This chapter sort of takes place right after Daryl leaves the prison group to head off on his own with Merle...<p>

Then it flashes back to Daryl heading back to the prison with the medicine.

Lot's of love xoxo-kate.


	39. Chapter 39

"How are you feeling?"

"Worse."

"He should be back soon."

"Doesn't matter."

"Yes it does, it does to me."

"Why?"

"Because I'll kill you if you die on me again."

"Again?"

"Yes again…"

He coughed into his hand before looking up to me. He was worse for wear…His forhead glistened with sweat and he had a drenched shirt to match. Underneath his eyes were coated with red, puffiness and his mouth was a purple color. "Will you give it a rest? I feel like shit as it is I don't need to ride the guilt train too." He frowned. "How are you feeling fat ass?"

"Just peachy," I shifted in the seat the weight of this baby belly was straining me. "Due any day now I suspect, so does Rick." I laughed. "He said that when Lori was preg…" I shook my head my smile dripping off my face. "Never mind. I just hope Daryl is back by the time I go into labor whenever little Dixon's ready to come out."

Keegan furrowed his eyebrows. "You aren't going to give it your last name? Why Daryl's?"

I looked down into my hands fumbling on my stomach. "I don't know really…we both just kind of wanted it to be his last name."

"He didn't even ask for my blessing," Keegan shook his head but I could see the fading smile on his playful lips. "How are you going to handle it?"

I leaned forward. "I'm scared. I want to be a good mother, but how can I in this setting? I'll always have to tell her to run or hide or not to be loud. I'll always have to worry about being heard or not having the sufficient amount of supplies she'll need." I sighed. "I'll have to try my best thought and learn as I go. We did for Judy."

"Now it's a girl?" he raised his eyebrows.

I shrugged. "Daryl wants a boy…thought it only fair to wish for a girl." He didn't smile at my poke of fun. "You will help me right? Be a good uncle?"

"If I am still alive by then…" he mumbled and we sat there staring at each other for the next half hour in silence. Both our eyes stayed transfixed on our hands as we fidgeted, and trembled. Sometimes it irked me how similar we acted, how alike we were in our movements and thoughts…he always knew what I would do next, always one step ahead. We could sense when something was not right with the other, or if something happened…We were almost like twins except the age difference. This time though the glass shielding me from him was not the only wall up between us. I could not see past his faltering features and Keegan would never be able to get past my iron curtain of false emotions. Despite the fact I knew I should be ready to accept him back into my heart again it was too hard, especially with him on death row. Faith was never my forte. "You should go." He finally said trying to stand up.

I slowly pushed myself out of the chair. "Who's all helping you in there?"

Keegan coughs a few times before looking at me. "I help Alice on the upper floors, but she is getting really sick. Glenn and Sasha take the other half with Hershel."

"You shouldn't strain yourself."

He laughs at my frown turning to leave. "Take your own advice sissy." Then he was gone like a ghost in the darkness.

"Rose," he appears from the doorway stepping in the visiting room slowly. "Have you seen Hershel?" I shake my head. "Is he alright?" I nod. "I need to tell him about Carol."

"What happened to her?" My breath nearly stops at his words. I could feel that same pain forming in my chest like someone had punched my too hard.

Rick shook his head. "She is alright, she just had to leave." I furrow my eyebrows. "Carol killed Karen and David." I take a step back. Carol? Kill? Karen and David? Now she is gone? I squeeze my eyes shut, those two little girls…who would tend to them? Did Tyreese know? Did anyone? They were sick so she had to kill them, just because they seemed sick… "Was I wrong to send her away?" He looks lost in his words staring at me for relief.

I walk forward placing a hand on his shoulder. "You did what you thought was right. Would you want her around Judith?" I leave him with that question exiting the room with a spinning head. How could Carol be capable of something like that? Killing walkers is different from killing humans? Did they ask her? Did it hurt? How had she changed into someone able to kill at will? Was I able to do that? Did Daryl know? So many questions made me dizzy with confusion as I walked through the tombs. I knew I had to get back to administrations building before Daryl returned or else I would get an earful of lectures. It pained my heart to know I was lying to him, but this was something personal. His motives meant extremely well to me, for I knew he was just looking out for my heath but I could not wallow in my own self-pity. I had to do something. Instead of listening to myself I leave the prison walls and exit out onto the courtyard just to see if I could spot smoke from a car, or hear the revving engine as he returned home to me, but no such thing was heard. I leave in disappointment, more grief filling my body than hope. Carol was now gone from our decreasing numbers for murder against our own. Rick had to be justified. But it was Carol. Had I really been that oblivious to not see the changing before my eyes? I had forgotten most of my days here from sadness or repressing the memories but she had always been one to stay aside when it came to a lot of choice making. Is that why Daryl left so long ago? To flee my brutality in the making? Is this the same reason Keegan had left me alone too? To flee from his spiraling blood-frenzy? Carol had always been sweet and kind to me, and a bit jealous, but I looked passed that for all that she did for me. Would she have hesitated to kill me? I shake my head my vision becoming shaded by the administration building. I had to stop thinking of Carol's actions or they would drive me up a wall.

"Bethy?" I knocked sheepishly on the door.

I heard a shuffle and could see the outline of her body behind the door. "Rose! My gosh what are you doing out here? You need to get back in your room!

A sigh of relief flowed from my mouth as I leaned against the door, she was alright. "I've been out here for a while now. I had to see Keegan, he's sick."

"Like Glenn." It wasn't much of a question but I nodded. "Is Daryl back?"

"No," I squeezed my eyes shut running my hand through hair used to the sudden end now. "Any day now."

"You should have stayed put Rose. Do you understand how reckless and dangerous you are being? Do you know how much harm you are putting towards you baby?" I could hear Judith's moans in the background noise as Beth began to raise her voice. "I know you hear this a thousand times but you are looking after two now, don't be stupid."

I gritted my teeth. "I can't just sit here."

To my surprise, Beth laughed. "I think we all get it now, you have ADHD, and you can't sit still, but use your head sometimes please. If not for Daryl and that baby-your family-do it for me?

"You are my family Beth. I'd do anything for you and them." I pressed my head against the door. "I am sorry for causing you strain these last few minutes, but I don't know why I can't seem to use my common sense in these situations. It's like I forget I am pregnant sometimes…"

"Don't see how that can be?" she chuckled again. "You look huge from in here."

I bit the inside of my lip. The size meant one thing to me, and that was the oncoming anxiety I would have for looking after this child. "Any day…any day…" I looked down the hall. "I better get back into my room for some rest before Daryl returns. I don't want to be pissy when he gets back." I slowly leave her door with wants of just curling up into a ball and let her sing me to sleep like a mother would do. It was strange to think of Beth like that, but it was her comforting nature that leads me to those beliefs. I slid back into the room and find myself back in the swivel chair playing with drawers and emptied coffee mugs finding thoughts to ease myself into sleep.

The woods were dark and covered in a layer of thick fog. 'I can't see.' I say aloud though no one is around me. The sun was surly in a deep sleep letting the moon take its starring role up in the sky shining over this dark trail lighting a sinister path. My feet crunched against the leaves as I clambered through the forest my veins pulsating in my wrist adrenaline my only friend tonight. It was quiet except for my feet and racing heart beat thumping loudly in my chest. Too quiet… A soft grumble could be heard in the distance. I headed for the sound hearing it louden with every step closer, now another sound could be heard…a low whine. I pushed a branch aside throwing moonlight onto the radio of sound. A person was hunched over something. 'Hello?' my voice sounded almost ghost like. Slowly this person-this man-this walker. I took a step back as it came more into view. The thing it was eating fell to the ground. 'No!' It was baby half eaten by this monster with small hands bloodied by its own blood. 'Why would-!" I couldn't speak for this walker; I knew him. 'Daryl?' His face was decayed by time and death as he staggered forward no emotions in his soulless eyes. Blood splattered onto my face as a bullet dove straight into his head, he fell lifeless at my feet. 'Don't worry Rose, I'm here now." It was Philip holding a gun in his hand advancing towards me.

"No!" I screamed out awakening in a chair. My body was drenched in sweat and the side of my mouth was dry from saliva slightly pooling from my mouth. How long had I been asleep? I saw a light flash from underneath the door and slightly hear Rick calling out for Carl. I try to get to my feet slightly lightheaded from the action and wobbly on my feet, but I make it too the door. "Rick?" I call out curious as to what time it was or if Daryl had come back.

"I heard gunshots," I hear Carl answer back and I leave my room completely.

"What's going on?" I ask him just before they leave the building.

Rick looked rushed. "Something is happening in Cell Block D, but I need to fix the problem with the fences."

"Is anyone hurt?" He just shook his head silently telling me to stay put. I decide to listen to his and Beth's advice and think about this child's safety. Keegan could handle his own whatever was going on in Cell Block D right? He did when he was in Woodbury why not now? I try to think of bettering thoughts as I close the door, but fear of harm coming to anyone I cared about plagued my mind along with the frightening images I had received through the dream. I couldn't let him die, or Alice, or Glenn, or Hershel. I couldn't sit here a wait for everyone to die. I had to help them. I leave the room at once feeling the protest from this baby as I run to Cell Block D at a slow pace. The glass in the visiting room is shattered most likely from someone else trying to break in. My thoughts fly to Maggie who would do anything for her husband and father. I climb my way over the desk in front of the window wincing in pain as my hand meets a broken piece of glass, but I get over and into the cell block. Bodies lay on the floor with blood splattered beside their corpses. I can hear crying from locked cell doors, and snarling from other ones. With my gun raised and ready I hustle up the stairs to the end of the row to find him hunched over a body. "Keegan," I cried out knowing I was too late my grip faltering but tightening at the same time. What could I have done to prevent this?

"You need to leave," he breaths out straightening up revealing himself to be in the same state, slightly worsened, from when I last saw him which only must have been a few hours ago. On the ground Alice was unconscious with a tube down her throat while Keegan pumped hair into it.

I walked forward setting my gun on Keegan's bed. "Lay down." I take the bad and sit down pumping air into the girl's lungs. I had not realized she was capable of getting sick too. He does not refuse me as he crawls behind me in the bed and curls up close to the wall. "Does she know your real name?" I ask staring down at Alice.

"I told her when she started to look after me…" his voice is wheezy. "She's nice."

"You like her, don't you?" I toss a smirk over my shoulder at him.

Keegan slowly smiles back. "Is it that obvious?"

"Not to her, no." I motion down to her unconscious state. "She'll get better. She'll be okay." I turn sideways to keep one hand on the air pump and to reach over and brush sweaty hair from Keegan's face. "We're all going to be okay. You'll both survive this, everybody lives."

He shook his head groaned in pain trembling from head to toe. "I don't know how much longer I can hold onto this life anymore."

"I forgive you." I whisper making him stop shaking. "For everything, I think I am ready to forgive you. Please just don't leave me again."

"I won't." He reached out and gave my arm a light squeeze.

"They're back!" I hear someone shout and I almost drop this air tube onto Alice. Keegan begins the sit up to take it from me but something else catches us off guard.

Daryl had just barged into the room a bottle of medicine and syringe in his hands. His eyes flash to mine, then to Keegan, then to Alice on the ground. He must have wanted to help Keegan first. "She probably needs it most." He says setting the medicine and syringe on the desk in Keegan's cell and retreating from the room.

I look to Keegan. "Go I can handle Alice." I flee his room rushing after Daryl. "Daryl!" He had made it out of Cell Block D and into the courtyard when I finally caught up to him. There were dead walkers just near the fence and I could feel his eyes on them and me as he turned around.

"I wanted to come back with you in the office. I wanted to come back to fine you safe. I wanted to come back and give your brother the medicine. I wanted to come back for you to listen to me." He frowned.

I shifted my weight. "I couldn't sit in there while my brother decayed in front of my eyes." I walked to him grasping his arms in mine the close contact no longer scared us both with medicine nearby. "If it makes you feel any better I stayed behind a glass most of the time I talked to him, and that time was only the second time I was in Cell Block D. Look at me, I am healthy."

"You can't just play this off with luck!" I pulled away from me. "I go out there constantly thinking of everything that could go wrong only to find out it did! Do you know how precious your life is? Do you know what you have inside of you? I am sick and tired of always having to remind you to not be so irresponsible!"

"If it was me would you go in there?"

He pointed beyond me. "No! I would be out there looking for things to heal you!"

"Would you have stayed in an office while I got sicker and sicker every day?"

"No!"

"Then why are you yelling at me!" I screamed back. "He's my brother! Glenn, Alice, Hershel is in there! I can't just sit in some office while they get closer to death's door step! Stop judging me on things you can't control! I am fine so just stop yelling at me!"

He throws his hands in the air. "No I will not because despite everything we talk about you refuse to listen to me! Despite always reminding you how dangerous the situation you get yourself into you still go and find some stunt to go do! You just can't get it through you head how easy you can die out here! I raise my finger to retaliate but instead I clutch my fingers into fist as shooting pain spreads throughout my body. I let out a cry of pain holding onto my stomach. "What is it?' he rushes forward grabbing my shoulders and back to help me in any way he thought.

"I think-I think the baby is coming…" I breathe heavily as the pain subsides a bit

"Let's get you to the informatory." He begins to move me but another pain hits me. "Or we can just stay here." Daryl laughs.

I glare at him. "Don't laugh; I am still mad at you."

"Mad at me? You don't get the right to be mad at me." He begins to help me to the ground.

"Then you don't get the right to be mad at me." I squeezed my eyes shut as another wave of pain shoots through me.

"How about we just don't be mad at each other?" he asked brushing hair from my face. "I feel like we're always mad."

I try to smile. "We'll just find another war to fight."

He leans forward and presses his lips against mine. "I missed you so much while I was out there." His hand slides down my face. "I was just so worried that when I came back I wanted everything to be safe, and for you to be healthy." He kisses me again and again and again until my lips feel numb with his love.

"I shouldn't abuse you care." I sigh ready for when the next cramp came. "Maybe I still have maturing to do before I am ready to make my own decisions." I squeeze his hand but not in agony; instead, with longing. "I missed you too."

"Did you water even break?" he asked looking at me bemusement in his blue eyes.

I leaned against him as we sat on the ground. "No, but the ground feels cold and I like it." He laughs quietly beside me. "People always have those misinterpreting contractions."

"Any day though…any day…"

* * *

><p>Any suggestions on baby names?<p> 


	40. Chapter 40

We sat there for a while. My head against his shoulder, his head against mine. We sat there talking to each other, and not talking at all. He told me about alcoholic Bob and the voice on the radio. I told him of my visiting hours with Keegan and venturing outside with Carl. We listened to each other, and didn't listen at all. Peace was all I could feel for those silent moments with him drinking in all the serenity we shared in our conversation, the calmness in our voices as we slowly watched the sun peek over the trees. The dark blue sky spilt into oranges, yellows, and pinks a great big lantern taking over for the moon as guide. I had never been more at ease than here with him. "This world was the only one I saw a sun rise in." I tell him, he mumbles back lazily. "I never had a reason to wake up this early." I could feel him dozing beside me trying carelessly to fall asleep. How selfish of me to not allow him resting hours, but he had never asked to go back inside. My poor darling, so worn, so teased…

"Alright you two?" I hear a voice from behind and toss my head over my shoulders to meet Michonne's eyes. "Want to come help clear some of these bodies away?"

I turn back to Daryl. "You should go help."

He snorts. "Me? You go help." He leans backwards resting his head on crossed arms.

"I helped them yesterday, it's your turn." I smirk patting his midriff before climbing onto my feet.

Daryl groans before following the same process. "It better not be like this when Daryl Jr. comes out. I am not changing diapers…"

I scoff. "First of all, it will be a mutual decision on who does what. Second thing, we are not naming this child Daryl Jr. No matter what gender it is."

"It could be a girl name you know," he wraps his arm around my shoulder yanking me towards him.

"Rick and Carl got rid of all the walkers at the fences." She pointed to the broken down metal. "Hershel took most of the walkers out in Cell Block A and saved Glenn plus all the other sick inmates…" Michonne told us after just throwing another dead body onto the back of a truck. "He really is something ain't he?"

I looked up at Daryl a slight scowl in his face no doubt he was thinking of where I was in all this. I wanted to tell him I was out of harm's way and inside the administration building, but even then I had entered Cell Block A and put myself in danger for wants of seeing Keegan. Why could I never stay put? I knew what I did was wrong, I see the irresponsibility in my actions, but it was hard to change. It was trying to break myself off a habit, like heroin, it was difficult. Motherhood had to mature me or else I could cause death to my family. I reach down and grab his hand. Hershel began walking towards us a worn out expression on his face. "How are Alice and my brother?"

"Alice is breathing on her own again and your brother is doing just fine looking after her." He squints in the sunlight. "They all seemed stable enough for me to get some air."

Daryl looked at. "Keegan's a tough son-of-a-bitch."

"He is." Hershel smiled.

"You're a tough son-of-a-bitch," he pointed at Hershel.

Hershel smiled even wider. "I am."

"Where's Carol?" he asked suddenly and my eyes met Hershel's in slight panic. He hadn't known. "In A-Block with Lizzie?"

"Talk to Rick." He walked passed us. "She's alright, just talk to Rick." I heard Michonne ask him if he wanted to come burn the bodies and Hershel gave an excited 'Hell yeah' back.

Daryl stepped away. "Will you go back into C-Block while I help Tyrese dig some graves?"

I smiled. "Of course." I leaned upward and kissed him, we were both relaxed from worry. I turn on my heels and walk to my Cell Block which had not been visited since the flu outbreak. It was still as dark and gray but the gloominess had edged away refilled by a feeling of safety and sanctuary. How much this prison had become a home to me? Just a while back ago we were just cozying up at Hershel's farm and now look at us. Look how much we grown in size and in integrity.

"Rose." Beth screams to me running from the other end of the cell block into my arms.

I close my eyes wincing from slight strain of the hug. "I saw you yesterday Beth…"

"Yes but that was through a closed door." She smiled pulling away. "Judith is sleeping upstairs." She looked down at my stomach. "Can't wait for that one to be up there with her."

I roll my eyes at her fantasies. "I thought I went into labor last night, but it was just one of those flukes you know..." I frown fearing the pain of child birth. We had Alice though…and medical supplies. Yet still thoughts of Lori's untimely death flooded into my memories. Would I have to go in the same way she had? Would my child grow up without a mother? This prison was safe though, _she still died, _but that was an accident.

"You're worried aren't you?" Beth questions staring into my eyes. "Don't worry. We're here. We are safe here." She reaches out gripping onto my shoulder, it was then I realized Beth and I were the same height. "Rose, don't worry." I nodded my head refusing to speak afraid I may vomit from nerves. Beth looks behind me. "Where's Daryl?"

"He went to go dig some graves," I say. "I'm going to lie down I don't feel so well." I leave her and walk up the stairs back into Daryl and I's cell. His stuff is back in here as well as mine; Beth or someone else must have brought it back while we were outside. I lay down on the bed reminiscing for a few minutes before I was out like a light.

"_Run!" he shouts sprinting ahead of me._

"_I am trying to," I chase after him. "Don't go so fast." The faster I ran the farther away he got. It seemed like every time I was nearly close to him his feet sped up throwing him away from me. Then suddenly he vanished from view all together and I was back in the dark woods listening to the munching sounds. I knew not to follow it but it kept getting louder and louder. This time when walker Daryl reveled its food it was Beth lying lifeless on the ground and me who had to shoot her._

I awoke to a shaking sound just outside the prison. My mind flees into a numb state as Philip comes into thought. He can't come back now, not at this time. I swing my legs over the bed and jog from the room, down the steps, and to the door. If he was out there he would most likely expect a war. People would be shooting, people would be yelling; this very building would be collapsing. This is the situation Daryl wants me away from; this is not something I can just run out into. I had to stay in this Cell Block. I had to stay away from whatever was going out there. If Daryl needed me he would fetch me, for he would know where I am supposed to be. I stay put this time. This baby would need its mother and father, so this makes me stay planted to the ground. Curiosity gets the best of me for some parts and I slid the rusted door open to just see where this event was lying. I stayed partially behind the door to Cell Block C just peeking down across the field. The Governor stood just outside the fences flanked by men, cars, and a tank. No doubt they would be armed and ready to shoot at any objection by us prison folk. I felt my heart pumping in my ears, my hands sweating with anxieties, no matter what he wanted to say it would end in something bad. Now I had the right to worry.

"Rick!" he called out loudly from atop of his tank. "Come down here. I want to talk."

* * *

><p>Kind of a short filler before the prison fall.<p>

The cliff-hanger for the next chapter is going to kill you all :)

Any guesses on who Rose will get split up with when everything goes down...she may not be able to stay with Daryl

Guesses on genders for Baby Dixon? Or more names? I love the ones you guys are giving me 3

Any death predictions?

Lots of love xoxo-kate


	41. Chapter 41

Every morsel in my body planted me to the ground watching, waiting for someone to shoot. Waiting for someone to plow over our weak fences and murder us all. Waiting for anything but a sort of stalemate between us and them…but nothing happened. I could faintly hear Rick shouting back, and The Governor shouting more back but it was muffled by shock and this door. My elbows were becoming pained from the death grip I had on the door anticipating every move that they would take. Then they did something to almost send me into a panic. Just beyond the fence I could make out Hershel and Michonne being dragged out onto the grass and forced onto their knees. I glared the thumping in my chest getting louder with every second I stared at them. They couldn't execute them here…not in front of everyone…I felt sadness along with the anger feeling an almost empathy for Beth and Maggie radiating off them from inside Cell Block C; the fear they must be feeling, the longing to shoot at Philip to release their father. Suddenly Daryl's eyes bore into mine from across the courtyard and he gave me a curt nod as Rick began to yank opens the gate. I wanted to scream out, wanted to stop him from going down there, but my voice felt lodged and it was impossible to talk with anxiety shaking my body. My eyes began to follow Daryl as he went up and down the line of people whispering what I could not even think about, then slowly, cunningly he started to hand out weapons with ease. I wished he was in here with me, to tell me what to do. Standing here by this door left me vulnerable and left out of whatever the plans were. Where was I to go? What was I to do? My mind goes to Keegan. Did anyone in A Block know what was going on? That was what I had to do. I turn around slamming the door shut and running up to Beth's room. I throw her things in a bag and grab Judith placing her in her carrier with her bag just to the side. Straggling along down the walkway I move to my room picking up all mine and Daryl's things and tossing them into my little backpack. I forget to think everything through, what we may need, what we may want I focused on food and triggering nostalgia. With the three bags and a baby slightly whining in her carrier I move to find the girls. "Mika!" I shout jogging down the halls to Cell Block A. "Mika!" The small blonde girl emerges followed by other kids. I kneel down. "I need you to take Judith and the other kids onto that gray bus okay?" I remember Daryl telling me about the bus. "Run quickly and stay low. Never take your eyes off Judith alright?" She nods taking the carrier a child with brown hair takes the bag and they're off. Something twinges inside of me making me doubt my decision to leave Judith in the hands of children, but I had a job to do. With a spinning head I enter A Block for the third time. "Keegan." I call out looking towards his room, but know I need to save energy so I decide to not go to it.

"What was that blast Rose?" It was Glenn emerging, still weary.

My composer falters. "It's The Governor. He formed a whole new army, he's got weapons…and a tank…I don't know if we'll make it this time." I see Keegan leave his room helping Alice walk along with him. "Rick is talking to him know, but we're taking safety precautions and getting everyone on the buses and prepared to leave when things go sour."

Glenn looks to the door. "Where is Maggie?"

"She's out there with the others. No one has fired yet." I decided to not mention Hershel for Glenn's irrational decision making. I feel hypocritical in this, but I am too focused on saving these people to care about my personality. "Please everyone." I raise my voice while sick, old, young, tired people stare at me from their cells not wanting to leave their sanctuary. "We need to pack up the most important things like food, water, and other essentials that are light and easy to move. We need to get you on the bus in case of an invasion." I hold my hands up to calm them. "I am sure that this is just a misunderstanding and Rick will have everything sorted out soon enough." It was reassurance for me, not them.

My eyes are on Keegan's almost watery. I didn't want to leave this place, not now at least. "You good?" he asked and I nod as he goes back to cell to pack up. I watch them all retreat into their once rooms to pick out important things and leave the dead weights. Some left quicker than others while most people left reluctantly. My throat tightens and I fight the urge not to scream out; the anger was building inside of me at Philip how much I wanted him dead. I began to become dizzy with vengeance, blinded by hatred for him to waltz into our home and treat us like vermin. "Let's go." He grips my arm pulling me out. His arm is wrapped around Alice helping her walk steadily while his other hand was laced with mine. "You alright?" he peeks down at me.

I nod. "Just angry."

"He is an asshole." Keegan smiles to try and make me feel better but it only worsen my mood. I pull away from him. "It is good to see you finally listening and staying out of dangerous situations." I nod but can't respond. "What made you decide to not be so stupid?" I cannot deal with his pokes at my intelligence, I have seen the wrongs in my way but changing how I think will take some time and what was I supposed to do? Let the walkers eat me if the situation walked upon me for once?

"Go ahead I want to make sure everyone gets out." He continues to walk not interfering with my choices no doubt getting Alice to safety on his mind. I count the heads, memorize the faces, and check for better heath to make sure they won't change on the bus as a few stragglers exit A Block. These people once belonged to Philip and now here they sat damaged once from this flu force to endure another one called The Governor. He was like a sickness; always coming back worse with each trip. Once the final elder left A Block I followed her out not effected by the decrease numbers since before the flu.

Glenn is perched against a wall in front of the group. "What are you stopping?"

"I need to find Maggie." He says looking downward.

I give him a light push but he won't budge. "She is out there Glenn." He shakes his head. "Glenn she will want you on that bus." He shakes his head again and I wondered if I was ever this stubborn with Daryl. I defiantly was not now, even though I wanted to get on that bus for safety I wanted to make sure everyone else was safe too. The gunfire makes us pick both our heads up and stare out the door. Glenn steps in front of me quickly shielding me like a hero. "Glenn, we have to go." I say sweat dripping from the side of my face. It was hot yes, but that was not the only thing causing me to sweat. I shove him hard with my right shoulder. "Move!" He glues his hand to the wall halting us from making any progress forward. I just want to get on that bus, get out of here in one piece, and everything turn out okay. For once, I am surprised at my will to follow directions. The prison shakes as dust clouds into the air around us screams could be heard coinciding with shots fired, but a new sound meets our perked hears. Walker moans.

Maggie comes sprinting into the corridor. "Glenn!" she cries out grabbing him and pulling him out of the door. "We got to get everyone on the bus." She tells me helping Glenn towards it. I follow her as we get rained on by gunfire smoke billowing from every wall and gun barrel. What had gone wrong? I lock my hands over my head to shield from debris as we run across the court yard. The quick action continues to pain my stomach and burn my legs. An old lady counts us as we get on the bus. My eyes flee to the back where those little girls should be.

"Where's Judith?" I asked the same time Maggie shouts. "Where's Beth?"

I almost begin to cry. Beth and Judith were missing. I feel my feet numbing and my fist curling and all I want to do is curl up and cry. I watch Maggie run off the bus back into the war and I feel myself doing the same but take a seat trying to calm down. 'She'll be okay…she'll be okay…' I whisper in my head squeezing my eye shut tight curling and uncurling my hands on the bus seat. I want to leave the bus, I want to go find my family, but I know what is best and that is me staying on the bus. How I envied Maggie? To be that brave and able to go back into that war and fight for us was all I could wish for. I peer down at my stomach slightly cold towards the huge weight. Guilt rushes through my body as similar feelings invade, similar to how I felt towards Lori. _Don't think like that…you can't change what is happening._ I feel myself rocking to soothing thoughts convincing myself these hatred thoughts are coming from an older version of myself; that reckless, immature, idiot version of myself. My eyes wander out into the field watching The Governor and Rick beat the living daylight out of each other. Then slowly they begin to fade from my vision; the bus pulled away. "Stop!" I jump to my feet wobbling from the speed. "Stop the bus!"

The man turns back to glance at me then turns forward again. "We have to get out of there Miss."

"My friends are back there!" I scream at him. "We can't just leave them there! We have to go back!" I scream reaching for the wheel but he pushes me backwards. I turn around to get Keegan or Glenn to help me but their faces cannot be found in the crowd of unknown survivors. They must have disappeared while I slipped off into my own thoughts. I knew nobody on this bus, even Alice is gone. When had Glenn gotten off? Keegan? I can't hear the engine or the speeding tires, all I hear is my heart beating loudly in my ears my brain ringing with recklessness. I bring my fist up and punch the driver square in the side of the head knocking him into the window. "Stop the bus!" I yell raising my fist again. "I don't care if we crash." I glare pulling out my gun and pointing it at his head as his foot eases onto the break bringing us to a halt. "My husband is back there, my brother and sister now you either turn this bus around and go back or let me out."

The driver, who I had no idea was, looks sympathetically at me then flickers his eyes to my stomach. I see his hand quivering on the steering wheel and the tapping of his foot as he urges to speed as far away from that death prison being destroyed. With a slight hesitation he pulls the bus door open. I expect him to say something, or maybe send someone with me but he just watches me with expected eyes. I couldn't back down now. I eye the door panic rising in my veins; I had not thought he would agree to that one. "Thank you." I say though and walk down the steps knowing I should have threatened him more to keep me on. The doors close softly behind me and he peels away. A part of me doesn't care they left me, I knew no one on that bus, but I know I should have stayed on. I could still see the smoke clearly rising from the broken prison so we couldn't have gotten that far from. I wonder how I could find everyone. Would they come running this way? Or would I have to search through corpses? I pick up my speed thoughts of Daryl drenching my brain. He would survive no doubt, he was tough without worries of me and I had proved I would listen apart from now, but he would understand. I see the grey walls approaching, the broken down fences and the increasing amounts of walkers in the courtyard. Breath does not come easy to me as I lightly jog up the road we just took from the prison. I hear three faint shots coming from the walls from straggling survivors, but who was left? Who was lost? Who had not gone away at all? Who had run? Who had fought? Who had come back? Me; of course, I had to come back for my family. My stomach pains me slightly walking back into the prison smoke floating around like fog in the morning. Shots had died away and all I could hear was the grumble of walkers staggering around looking for food. "Daryl!" I call out seeing if he was still here. "Daryl!" I want to walk further into the prison but I could not see much through the smoke and I knew there were walkers in there, too much for myself to handle. "Daryl! I try one last time feeling my throat closing. If he was not here where would he be? "Keegan! Alice! Beth!" Tears are now in my eyes at my failed attempt to find them. Where were they? "Rick! Michonne! Maggie!" Where was everybody? I want to stay, I want to keep looking to find them hiding but these walkers, these monsters lurked in the shadows of this graveyard just waiting for me to make a stupid decision. I turn away from the prison knowing very well if they weren't in there and dead they were running from the prison. I wipe my face walking the steps I just took away from my home not destroyed and decayed like the walkers around us. One thing makes me slightly content; The Governor is dead. If he and his men and not answered my calls they were surly dead and gone.

My breath is hitched high as I can't stop the tears from falling. Pain was obvious in my stomach and it was hard to move quickly down the road. "Daryl!" I call out again guessing he might have taken to the woods. I don't get time to guess really as walkers emerge from the left side of the road. I panic and take off into the right side of the woods, but enjoy my action for if I had went the other way I would end up to the front of the prison where more walkers were. My breathing is heavy as I run through the trees knowing I wasn't running fast enough. "Daryl!" I screamed long and dragged out my voice cracking as my breath became short. My lungs felt as though they would burst and my legs were on fire, not to mention the discomfort in my stomach. Walkers growled from behind me. They were on my tail. All I had was one gun with a bullet count unknown. I don't know where I am going, I don't know which direction I came from, I don't know if I am heading the right way or running around in circles. All I know is that if I stop I am surly dead. Perhaps death was better. Perhaps stopping now and dying would save me from running for the rest of my life. Perhaps I could finally get some peace. _All we do is run. _I hear Maggie's voice through my foggy brain as trees brush past me in a smell of moss. I am tired of running. I am tired of never being safe. I am tired of losing everything. I think of Daryl, I think of his face, his voice, his words…I think of how I may never find him while I run. He was the only one that could possible ever make me feel alive in this world of dead, and now he was gone. Now my other half was missing leaving me alone. Completely, and utterly _alone. _I feel rushed in my dying thoughts, I feel my head ringing with the need to speak what I have been holding back for so long, but nothing comes to mind. I wish I could have held my baby just once before we both die. I wish I could have saved my parents. I wish I could have killed Martin myself. I wish I could have kept Keegan close to me on that bus. I wish…I wish…I wish.

I scream falling against a tree, not because I am facing death with a brave face, but because a pain shoots through my body so strong it forces my weight forward. I don't know if I am crying because I am sad, or tired, or in pain, but tears fall freely from my face. I hear walkers just behind me so I push away from the tree and try to keep moving forward but I double forward crying out in agony again. They were gaining on me. I toss my head over my shoulders seeing them break through the trees a couple yards back. I had the speed over them, but if I stopped too soon they would catch up. I begin to run a couple feet before having to lean up against another tree again. "Why…" I shake my head leaning against the cool bark hearing their moans get louder. My fingers curl against the bark as I launch a quivering scream I can't hold him. I throw myself away from the tree taking a sharp left to confuse their directions but I have to keep stopping to ease a never ending pain. My body felt like it was being squeezed through a very tiny pressurized tube and the only thing that helped was stopping, but I couldn't stop. _I thought you wanted to die? _Nobody wants to die. Not me; not today. I stop suddenly a wave of relief washing over me as pain leaves my body for a few seconds. It comes back stronger than ever the same time the shock set into my body.

My water broke.

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><p>So this chapter was meant to go in a totally other directions but I have had to reconsider some things.<p>

I did not want Rose not be in on all the action because

-she's really freaking pregnant

-she stupid as hell sometimes

And I thought it would be clever to put her in the woods on her own like she had seen in her dreams.

Tell me what you think please

lot's of love xoxo-kate


	42. Chapter 42

I stare blankly ahead of my realization joining the sweat and tears streaming down my face. My focus goes downward to the small puddle beneath my feet layering moisture on the dirt floor of the woods. I hear growling and more growling until it closes in around me surrounding me in dead. I do the only thing that comes to mind and it is a movie I remembered from my childhood. I pull a knife from the back of my jeans and slice my palm open blood spurting from the fresh wound. It drips onto the ground before I get enough free movement to smear it onto a tree. I take a left a jog ignoring the searing pain in my lower half. My head felt ready to explode with pressurized pain, my body ached with exhaustion, and now a new wound sent virgin pain through my body. Fear and determination were coursing along in me. Fear that labor would be dangerous and unsafe, but I could not stop to give birth soon so what was I to do? Determination to lead these idiots away from me and hunt for a safe house to bring my child into this world…alone. I cry as I run smearing blood onto more trees as I go stopping ever so often to deal with painful contractions. Daryl would not be here with me for help, support, or to see our creation brought to life. He would not be here to see our child take its first breath, cry its first cry…He would not be her to hold our baby, hold it tightly into safety. He would not be her to help me deliver it. He would never be seen by me again. I lurch forward a struggled groan slipping past my lips. "Stay in," I mutter as contractions began to enclose around me like those walkers. I dig the knife into my palm one more time and smear it against a tree leaving this as the last trace of me. I take a left turn doubling back in the opposite direction. I gridded my teeth struggling with pains I could not fathom to count. My eyes screw up a strangled cry emerging as I collapse against a tree. Those walkers were defiantly off my trail I had no doubt in my mind. Spending so much time with Daryl makes you pick up a few things. They would stop at each tree and sniff like dogs then move on when the smell catches them. The blood on the last tree was fresh so they would think, though they can't, that I had kept moving forward; instead, I went in another direction leading them away from myself. They were no longer a threat.

I don't know how long I had walked/jogged away from them. This forest all looked the same to me. All I knew is it was no place to be stuck in alone about to give birth. I scream out a wave of pain crashing over me along with unreleased anguish. I don't know what to do. I know this baby needs to come out soon, but lying down and giving birth now would leave me and this child extremely vulnerable. The pain subsides long enough for me to get in four breaths before along wave came this time worse than ever. I scream louder than I ever screamed before white-hot knives piercing every part of my body, my head would surly burst. Walkers emerge from the trees, but these are different ones I notice by their clothes and numbers. There were only about seven of them while I had several on my tail. I turn to run but only scream again with agony. Where was there to go? I pull out my gun and shoot the two closest ones, then wait until the third one gets near to take it out. I point my gun at dead women in a brown shirt but a hand sneaks out from behind the tree grabbing at my skin snarling at me with a blood thirst. The ambush sends my hurtling towards the ground my side cushioning the fall but only sending more pain into my system. With difficulty I turn onto my back to aim my gun upward at this dead man advancing on me and shoot shakily hitting his shoulder taking another shot through his skull. I scramble backwards more to get a better aim on the woman, but when I shoot my gun just clicks. My rounds were gone. I think quickly and wait until she is almost on top of me before bringing my arm back and shoving my gun into her eye socket. She falls to the ground beside me. There are still three more left now nearing me on the ground panting sweat dripping off my body like rain. My hand tightens around my knife as a man with a bloody blue shirt approaches. A contraction hits me as I begin to raise the blade, but I don't need to kill this walker.

An arrow slides through its skull before I have the chance.

My head falls back onto the ground a ringing in my ears. Shock and exhaustion keep me from moving. A thud sound lands beside me, and when I look it's a crossbow, but no owner. Instead Daryl's face in above mine almost hard to see from a patch of blue sky shimmering through the canopy of trees around us. He is shaking me. He is talking, but I can't respond. He throws my limbs around checking for bites only lingering long on my cut up hand. Then a pain brings me back to him. "It's time." Is all I can say before screwing my eyes up as my back arches. If we had been back in the prison, back in the infirmary with Alice our emotions would have been lighter and happier, but here, in these dark unreliable woods…happiness was hard to find. All I see is worry in his eyes when I look back to him hovering over me. His mouth fumbles over words and his hands tremble on my skin fright obvious to both of us. We knew this labor would not be easy, or smart in here, especially now.

"Do you think you could walk?" he asked dumbly and I squeeze his hand tightly not remembering when our hands got entwined. He was just as inexperienced as I was.

"Rose." Beth appears on the other side of me. "Try breathing like they do in those shows you know." She gives me examples and I follow her instructions. I don't know if I am crying because of the pain, or that they both or alive and with me. "Go take guard." She pushes Daryl away from me and shifts over to sit by my feet. Beth removes all the fabrics from the waist down pushing my shirt upward to just show my belly. "I don't know how long this will take but you are defiantly having your baby tonight." She laughs and I want to slap her for laughing.

"Hurry." I spit out biting my lip until it bleeds.

She pushes my legs apart wider peering in. "Alright. Well my dad told me a few things when Lori got pregnant and health class taught me some stuff." I glare at her. "Push." She says uncertainly but what else have I got to do than get this child out of me. My fingers grip onto my moist thighs and I push hard feeling more pressure than ever before. I can't help but unleash a scream.

"How you doing there?" he asked propping my head up against his legs as I breaths heavily waiting for Beth to say push again.

"I hate you," I say between gasp and he just chuckles. With my head upward sum I see he fastened some wire around the small tree enclosure we were in perhaps to stop walkers from reaching us if they happened to examine what was going on.

Daryl's fingers brush over my forehead removing drenched pieces of hair from my skin, and then he leaned down pressing his lips to my head. "Hang in there champ." I scream again not able to wait for Beth any longer as I lean forward to push harder. I just want it out of me. I just want to be done with this pain. Beth and Daryl are yelling at each other about the matter but I can't listen as I push and push and push heaving every possible energy I had left to push this baby out. All around me was getting bright as the sun was setting, how long had I been at it? The sky above was no longer blue, but instead an orange and pink color. I try to focus on the sky, try to think of colors for comfort but nothing can distract me from the excruciating pain forming inside of me. I cannot do this anymore. This baby is stuck. It won't come out. I'll have to endure this for the rest of my life. I look at Daryl's sad eyes begging for him to just put me out of my misery. This is too difficult, too painful. My head was banging loudly along with my heart as my lower part felt almost numb with agonizing work. How much longer would I last?

Suddenly I felt a pull from behind my navel jerking me forward and then back again. I huffed out breaths quickly as the pain began to die away very slowly. I stared up at the darkening sky spots of black appearing in my sight as my brain rang with dizziness. I felt lightheaded and exhausted swaying against Daryl's legs. "Oh…" he gasps.

A cry passed through my ears.

Beth walks towards me her shirt covered in blood and other substances. She is crying as she kneels beside me. I begin to cry as well, relief present in the air, holding out my arms to take my child. "Hello there," I smile down at this beautiful, perfect, little angel of mine not knowing how to feel anything but love. I glance behind me at Daryl who is tucking his head away into my shoulder.

"It's a boy." Beth says and I look down just to check.

"My baby boy." I cooed pressing my nose lightly to his head and crying.

He tips the cup against my lips pouring water down my throat. "Thanks." I mumble pushing him away slightly to make the cup retreat from my mouth. He sets it down on the ground analyzing everything. Our child was nestled away in my arms asleep, me leaning against a tree for support, and Beth digging through our things for some unknown item. We had cleaned him off with a wet rag damped by the cold water stream just a half-of-a-mile away from where we were. He did not defiantly like the cold water on his soft skin, but he was easy to calm down. I knew I would have to get used to silencing him to help not attract danger, but he was corporative for a newborn. I closed my eyes leaning my head backwards. I was extremely fatigued from the whole turn of events. I tried to stay awake for my boy but all he needed was milk and then he was out like a light; a trait he must have gotten from Daryl because I rarely slept as a child.

"Get some rest," Daryl sighs pushing hair away from my face running his rough hands along my skin tingling my face with delight.

I shake my head opening my eyes. "I can't."

He shifts around on the ground beside me. "We got the place secure Rose, please sleep."

"How did you find me?" I ask the question bugging me since they first showed up.

Daryl's eyes avert mine a sudden noise making him jumpy, but it's just Beth setting some things on the ground to lie down. "I knew you were on the bus, I knew you were safe. When it pulled away I knew it would be taking you somewhere safe before things got worse. I knew I could just go find you by tracking the tracks. We couldn't hold out anymore. I grabbed Beth before she killed herself trying to find the kids…once the prison fell we had to take to the woods. The roads were packed with walkers coming from every angle; we had to run. We got a pretty decent ways away taking refuge in a field. We were just lying there in the grass when I heard my name. I heard someone screaming my name, so I got up and ran to you. I didn't know which way it was coming from, these woods were big, but I kept hearing my name. Then my name got replaced by screams." He looks away. "I didn't know what was happening to you I just knew I had to find you fast. Your screams were ringing louder and louder throughout here. We found a tree with blood on it and I knew you were close, the blood was still wet. I followed your line of trees and when I reached the end I didn't have a clue which way you went. But you screamed again. I kept following your voice when I found you where I did."

"I didn't have enough bullets." I frown.

"You made it through," his mouth turns up to smile but it falters. "You found a way to kill them." He leans over to kiss the side of my mouth. "Thank you."

I furrow my eyebrows. "For what?"

"Staying put. Staying out of danger." He glances over my face. "Even though you took off into the woods you still stayed partly out of the danger."

"I couldn't find Keegan, or Beth. I told the driver to drive me back but he let me out instead…" I stare down at our baby. "Did you see him at all?"

Daryl shakes his head reaching out to softly run his hands over his boy's head. "We're all scattered."

"We have each other." I reassure him. He doesn't reply. "I must have dropped our things along the way."

"No," he says. "We found them while we were looking for you." His hands are on my hands gripping them tightly. "What are we going to name him?"

I close my eyes again. "I haven't even thought of it…"

"How about after you brother?" he asked.

"No." I reply flatly. "How about after yours?"

His eyes become dark. "Defiantly not." Then they suddenly light up again. "Dar-!"

"I am not naming him that." I chuckle. I didn't really want our boy to be named after anyone we knew, or anybody who we had lost along the way. I wanted this child to represent out new futures, to represent a new beginning in this world, our new world Daryl and I lived in together. I didn't want to be reminded of our loses but instead of our gains. "Benjamin."

Daryl peers down at Benjamin. "It suits him, it suits _us._" He presses him mouth to mine again. "Middle name?"

I fight the urge to roll my eyes; did he really need a middle name? "You pick." He shrugs mumbling something unknown self-conscious taking over. "How about Harley for you brother's bike?" I poke out there but he shakes his head furiously. I rack my brain. "Hunter, for you since you know…you hunt." I smile and his lips curve upward slightly."

"Benjamin Hunter Dixon." He lets his tongue find comfort in the words but I would not change his name. It fit our child; it fit our family like Daryl had said. Daryl only pronouncing the full name was enough for me to be set on this name. "I like it."

I can't help but start crying.

Daryl runs his hand along my arm trying to soothe me, but I am not upset. I catch his eyes looking over at Beth for a second before he turns to me. "Hershel's dead."

I stop crying starting at him. "Wh-What?" I stumble on the words.

"Hershel's dead." He repeats. "The Governor…he-he killed him with Michonne's sword by decapitation."

My focus fades from him out into empty space trying to comprehend our loss. I don't cry instead I look over at Beth. "How is she?'

Daryl shrugs. "Haven't had time to speak to her." His voice lowers even deeper. "She was crying though while we ran."

I bring my hand up to my face wiping my skin free of tears. We all had to deal with loses, we all knew death was common in our world, but to see your father executed in front of you must have been…I could not find the words to place it. I had never heard of such a thing to happen. "I'll speak with her." We don't talk the rest of the night. We sat there in silence both staring at Benjamin thinking the same thing.

Perhaps Hershel's had been reborn into Benjamin. The thought was preposterous and a mere wish, but it kept us from sorrow.


	43. Chapter 43

Sorry I haven't updated in a long time. I am really super busy and writers block has been kicking my ass. Also, sense the show won't return until October thought waiting may be best, but I miss writing for this story.

This chapter is really short and just a filler. I apologize not giving you guys the chapter you deserve after such a long time of not updating. Hopefully I get a spark that will get me to write more interesting chapters but like I said writers block. I am trying to go along with the show, but frankly I don't really remember what happens so I am waiting for it to come out on Netflix so I can recap.

Again I am sorry. Feel free to criticize or give me some suggestions.

Thank you so much xoxo-kate

* * *

><p>Beth sat down across from me the ground barley moving with her agile movements onto the dirt. Her hand outreached towards me holding a red fruit in her hand; a strawberry. I took it gratefully into my own hand staring at her worn face. Haphazardly washed away mud residue sat on her beautiful skin, sweat was glitzing just on her hair line, and her hair laid wild and tangle in her ponytail. "I remember when you first came onto the barn." She spoke quietly to the ground. "I thought you and me, we were about the same age, and we must get along. I needed someone else there with me. Jimmy was always there, and Maggie but I wanted new faces. I, of course, got the impression you disliked me though and we never ended up bonding until the prison." Her eyes met mine.<p>

I watched her hands twiddle with her jeans not knowing what to say. "Thank you." She shrugged it off. "No Beth, thank you. Benjamin wouldn't be here without you neither would I, so just accept my thanks." She closed her eyes and nodded looking back at the ground. "Now…are you alright?" Beth didn't look up at me when I said this. She knew what I meant, and what I wanted to get out of her. "Beth." She looked up half-an-inch. "I know you. I know you." I could see tears falling onto the dirt around her. "And I love you. You're my sister."

Beth's hands wrapped around her neck. "The cut off his head Rose, clean off with Michonne's sword and I had to watch. I had to watch my father get executed by a sick man and I wasn't able to do anything but watch." Her face collapsed into her hands. "He didn't deserve that. He was a good man, my father. He was bright, and wise, and perfect. He didn't deserve that death."

"Hey, hey, hey." I leaned forward grabbing her hand. "People are going to die. I am going to die, Daryl is going to die, Rick, Carl, Glenn…we all go at some time. Your father didn't deserve to die like that, but it is probably much better up there as it is down here. He was the bravest, knowledgeable, faithful, hopeful man I ever met. He was one of the good ones. I could sit here and tell you things, but he is not coming back. That's brutal I know but he is still here inside us whispering wisdom through the wind as we go. He died proud of us." I smiled as her tear stained face rose. "At least now he's got his leg back."

She laughed whipping her face with the back of her hand. "I know he wouldn't want me cryin' over him but he was my dad and all."

I gave her hand a squeeze. "Beth, you have all the rights to be sad. I would be surprised if you weren't. Don't let death shut you down."

"Then why did you?" she asked suddenly referring to those months I detached myself from everyone. I could see the almost anger in her eyes from when I left her, I could see the pain she felt with my pain, my stupid handmade pain.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it trying to find my answer. "I am a coward. When the miscarriage happened I was so hung up on it I couldn't function. I knew I was being stupid and hypocritical but it just hit so close to home, I had never experienced death like that. Lori's death affected me that way, but only because of the guilt I had for not helping not because she had died. I wish I could go back and shake myself back into reality. I am so ashamed of myself because of it. I kept telling people to get over their losses and there I was moping around for what? My son is alive yes, but how safe will he be. I love him of course, but is he any better here?" I sighed. "But it is over now, and I have to focus on what lies ahead not changing my past." Beth averted her eyes from mine picking at the dirt underneath her finger nails. "I hope we find everyone." I say getting off this topic of death.

She shook her head. "We should be out looking for them." Her eyes lit up sympathetically. "Once you are better of course."

"A day or two that is all I need." I looked down at my son stroking the side of his face with my thumb. "What a world he has come into…how much he has got to grow…" I pushed him close to my chest a rustling sound came from the bushes. Beth stood up slowly pulling her gun from her jeans raising it to meet our attacker.

"I got some more water." Daryl said eyeing both Beth and I who both relaxed. He made his way towards me crouching down to look at my face. His eyes flicked over every feature analyzing where struggle met strength. He lingered on my lips contemplating the action of leaning down to kiss them, but instead he stood up and looked around our enclosure. "We should move soon." He said to no one in particular.

Beth glared up at him. "She needs more time to rest; she just had a baby Daryl."

Daryl turned to face her. "I know that, but we need to move. Staying in one place could be dangerous."

"We should be out looking for everyone." She spat out furious with his lack of perseverance. "What if they need us?"

"They can handle their own."

Beth's fist clenched by her side. "They could be dead because of us! How can you just sit here and wait around while everyone we knew is dying?"

Daryl shook his head but never responded while he began to work on a fire. I watched them both as he did that and Beth stormed off to her little area writing furiously in a journal. I wiggled to my sides finding the power to push myself off the ground. "She is right you know." I say quietly to him as he pokes at the flames. "We should be looking."

"You don't think I know that." He hissed without looking at me. "I am trying Rose. There is only so much I can do."

"I can take care of myself Daryl, and if I can't Beth is always there to help me. You don't need to protect us all." I reach my hand down the stroke the back of his head. "In a day or two I will be ready to move and when I am we are going to go look for everyone."

Daryl slowly stood up staring at me. "Then what? Where are we going to go? The prison's gone…where do we rest? Where do we eat? Where do we live?"

I shook my head. "I don't know but with everyone else around us we will know. We'll figure something out."

He sighed knowing I was right. "I wish Merle was here." He says suddenly placing his hand in the nape of my neck. "He would have loved to meet little Ben."

"He would have been running around saying he looks like him, but we all know he looks like his dad." I smiled up at him wrapping my arm around him to pull him close. "Once this is over, once we're safe…we'll be the best goddamn family there ever was you hear me Daryl." I kissed the side of his jaw. "Nobody is going to want to mess with the Dixons."

"I love you." He whispered almost shaking. "You're the only reason I think I keep surviving. Out in those woods, alone, hunting, you think a lot…there were so many times I just wanted to put a bullet in my head." My eyes-widen. "But I'd think of you, I'd think of him, and I ignore it because you two need me. Because I don't want to think about you being alone." Daryl kisses my forehead.

I squeeze my eyes tight. "I love you too." I smiled up at him when his eyes meet mine. "Why wouldn't I?"


End file.
